What is it, and what do I do with it?

This is a dress, and you wear it and be all sexy and shit. You can wear it on its own or with leggings, depending on how comfortable you are with how much leg will be showing.

Why did you mention your septum in the title?

I'm getting there, you'll see.

What was the packing like?

It came in a plastic bag, with a tag and the straps attached to it in another plastic bag. There's a tag on the inside that gives you the materials, sizing, and care instructions. This dress is 80% Nylon and 20% Spandex, and should be hand washed and hung to dry. You could probably get away with running it through a washing machine on low and cold, but do so at your own risk.

What's the sizing like?

I got this in a medium, which according to Coquette's new sizing chart means that I should be between a size 8-10, with a 36-38" bust, a 28-30" waist, and 38-40" hips. I'm about 5'2", I weigh about 130, around my bust is about 33", under my bust is about 30 1/2", my waist is about 28 1/2", where my pants sit around the top of my hips is about 35", and around my butt is about 41". It was really comfortable to me, and I was able to wear it for hours on end with no problems. I'm on the smaller end of the bust spectrum and had no problems, and even with being a bit over the hips recommendation I still had no problems.

Gonna tell us that story yet?

Nope, not just yet.

Fine. Will you tell us more about the dress in the meantime?

Sure! The dress itself is a respectable enough length if you routinely wear short things and counteracting accidentally flashing people comes second nature to you. I personally wore it with leggings because I've never felt comfortable showing that much leg, but it's not ridiculously short. The inside of the cups are padded slightly, more on the "molded cup" path than on the "padded cup" path. Enough that you can ditch the bra if you want to wear it strapless, because the straps are removable as well as adjustable. There's a band of studs underneath the bust that's sort of like a high placed belt, something that breaks up the flow of the dress in a visually pleasing way, and is about 15" across and 2 1/2" tall. The rest of the dress is a soft and dark purple material covered in a black fishnet. It's about 5 1/2" from the top of the cup to the top of the studs and about 24" from the armpit to the bottom of the hem.

How well do you think it's made?

I think it's made very well, and it'll last a long time in my collection. It has a nice weight to it, something that really feels like it's there without weighing you down. It's not see through at all, and it's really comfortable.

Will you tell us the story now?

Not just yet.

Ok fine. Got any pictures?

Of course! Here's a front/side/back along with a shot of the outfit I wore it with.

Are you finally ready for that story?

So I have a septum ring that I occasionally wear a horseshoe in. On this particular occasion, I had it in and everybody loved it with the outfit. So I get home and it's late and I start undressing while trying to stay quiet enough to not wake up my husband. It was going well until I pulled the fishnet dress up over my head. Have you figured out where this is going yet? If you haven't, the end result was me yelling "Husband! Husband! Wake up! I tried taking the dress off but it's caught on my septum ring and I can't move enough to see enough to uncatch it!!" He thought it was hilarious.

The dress was a huge hit with the girls I went out with, and looks fantastic with the Menton leggings.