I’m always on the lookout for sexy lingerie. My husband really enjoys it, so it’s fun to come across something that’ll put a spark in his eyes and a hard-on in his pants. With his birthday coming up, I came across the Naughty Knot and thought it might be fun.

It definitely looks cute in the picture, and the whole idea of being wrapped up like a present sounded like fun. Although I don’t have a figure quite like the mannequin in the picture, I figured it should fit with no problem; since it fits a variety of heights from 4’11” to 6’ (sorry short people and WNBA players), and bust sizes from AA to DD. I’m nicely in the middle (or so) for both ranges. The Naughty Knot is also fairly inexpensive.

The Knot arrived in a nice silver box, with a picture of what it should look like on a pretty (and skinny) blonde woman. On the front of the box I found; “As Seen on TV”. Hmm, I hadn’t. “Featured on ABC’s American Inventor...” I’d heard of that one, and wondered how it did (not well, but the clips on You Tube are priceless). “…and Jerry Springer Show.”

Uh-oh. This was on Jerry Springer? The last time I watched his show, he had a scary woman on who had all of her teeth pulled so she could give better head. I told my husband to give me a few minutes and be patient. Then I went to get ready.

Inside of the box was the Naughty Knot, nicely folded. It was a nice shade of red, and was 100% polyester (satin). It was fairly shiny and slick, and very pretty. Also in the box was an instruction sheet. With 13 steps of instructions! Each step, or steps, had a picture to go with it so I figured it couldn’t be that hard. Could it?

Step 1: Slip your right arm through the loop. Ok, that was easy.

Step 2: Slide the long piece between your legs and find the front pocket just above your breast line which is where the bow will go through. Check – not a problem there.

Step 3: Prepare the ribbons to be threaded through the pocket. Again, check.

Step 4: Chinese fan folds? I’m kind of lost, but have something that may look right, although it’s hard to do with so much material. They should be 1.5cm or less – so I’m guessing about 1/2". Check.

Step 5 & 6: These are the steps where one loop of the bow is created. I tried this again and again. This didn’t quite work, but I figured I’d go on to the next for the other loop.

Step 7, 8, & 9: Create the back bow. Well the bow loops got through, but my bow looked nothing like the bow in the picture for the next step. The instructions comment that this is like tying a man’s bowtie. Never done that! It wouldn’t stay bowlike but kept slipping open.

Step 10: Tidy it up a bit. You have a bow, but it won’t be even and beautiful yet. Really? I’m not sure what I have, but it doesn’t look right.

Step 11 & 12: Pictures of what the bow should look like. Should being the operative word. The back looked fine, but the front was lacking.

Step 12 A: My step. Repeat steps 3-12 several times until it sort of looks like a bow, and covers your breasts like the picture shows. Try again until it looks right or you’re ready to chuck it for different lingerie.

At this point my husband popped in, after about 20 minutes. He was amused. I went with a different item.

I would suggest trying this before hand so you can practice getting it right. Don’t think it will be easy right out of the box. It may be for others, but I’ve decided that either I can’t follow directions, or they are more complicated than they look.

There is a Step 13: How to untie – if you have it on right you pull both ends simultaneously and it comes off.

On the positive side, this washed well in cold or warm water and a tumble on low. It came out of the dryer without needing to be ironed and wasn’t wrinkly.

At some point I’ll try this again when I have more patience, and I have time to work through it without an impatient partner waiting for me.

This is one of those lingerie items where I ended up throwing up my hands and saying "Enough!" I could not follow the directions to get this on correctly, and it always frustrated me when I tried. I think it may be my body type is just not suited to this piece.