The New Intimacy

Water-based lubricant
by System JO

Other JO H2O lubricant reviews

Slime City!

It worked, but it just felt weird. Plus, it never really dries, it just gets gooey. It leaves a "stain" on fabric, until you wash it, that makes it look like you spilled something on it. Generally, it comes out really slimy, almost oily. It works but in a really unnatural feeling way, and then it doesn't really dry. It leaves you feeling slimy. Then you can't get rid of the slime without soap and water. The bottle leaks too, which makes a huge mess.
Published:
Pros
smooth, warms quickly to body, affective at lubricating
Cons
slimy and oily, unnatural feeling, NEVER really dries-just turns into nasty goo, use soap and water
Rating by reviewer:
1
useful review

Use

This lube isn't bad, but it's just...slimy. You can use it like any other standard water based lube. It works well in that respect. You can use it in bed, but it makes a terrible slimy, greasy, sticky, and generally a nasty mess of your sheets.
It rinses away too fast to use in the shower, but if you're getting in RIGHT after, go for it.
It's great for anal, since it's SUPER smooth. It'll work for vaginal or just for reducing friction between bodies. Be prepared to head to the bathroom and making friends with the soap and water because it leaves you feeling oily, kinda sticky, and just not clean. You can only get that gunk off with soap!

WARNING. DO NOT put it in your mouth. It's NASTY.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Foreplay
    • Masturbation
    • Sex
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Shortly before bathing
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Anal
    • Vaginal

Texture / Consistency / Thickness / Viscosity

This lube has the consistency of liquid laundry detergent, but it is rather oily feeling. Completely smooth, it takes away almost all traction, which is great for getting things into tight places. After that, this is not so great.
    • Greasy
    • Smooth
    • Sticky

Taste / Aroma

It doesn't really smell like anything. If anything it smells a bit chemically.
As far as taste, it's NASTY.
It's like mint, water, and a bit of chemicals. The taste lingers.
    • Bad taste
    • Light smell

Performance

The lube stays wet...forever. When it is kind of dry, it's gooey and sticky. DO NOT GET IT ON FABRIC. You have to wash it to get it out, and it looks wet until you do wash it. Plus, it leaves a gummy sticky spot on the sheets. It will sink down and soak into whatever it pleases. It sits on your skin, and it will still be there the morning after. It doesn't really feel natural. Even when it's dry, it leaves an oily residue that you have to use soap to get off your skin. Generally, it makes a slimy, gooey, sticky mess that you need to use soap and water to clean up. If you're anything like me, you won't want to go to sleep or cuddle with this stuff on you.
    • Gets sticky
    • Long lasting
    • Needs to be washed off with soap and water

Packaging

Generally, the packaging looks exactly like it does in the picture. It's not discreet, it's not a work of art, and it's not pretty. If anything, it's kind of macho looking.
It's a clear plastic bottle made out of sturdy number 1 plastic, which means it's the easiest to recycle.
It has a black plastic lid with the standard "push-one-side-down-and-up-comes-the-other-where-the-opening-is" cap, which is commonly found on shampoo bottles.
Mine leaked terribly.
By squeezing with the cap closed, I found that it wasn't the cap, it was the seal between the cap and the bottle. I found this to be a rather odd form of malfunction (DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME unless you're in the shower and have filled the bottle with water. Otherwise, it will make a mess).
I used to keep my toys and such in a shoe box until this lube leaked all over the bottom of the box and made it a nasty, sticky, and soggy mess. I had to throw it away. I kept this stuff in a bag after that!
    • Can be opened with one hand
    • Not discreet
    • Recyclable
Follow-up commentary
I still hate this stuff. I realize some people really like it, but I just thought it was gross. Worse yet, the bottle leaked! I keep the bottle in a plastic bag now after it nearly ruined the box I store my toys in.

You really NEED soap to get rid of this stuff- I know it SAYS water-based, but it seemed to act more oil-based to me. It never really dries-it feels tacky and sticky and slimy-and it stays that way until you give the affected area a good washing WITH SOAP.

I will never forget that spot on my sheets. It was there until I washed them- and it was as vividly "look, I'm a darker shade than the surrounding fabric because I'm wet!" over a WEEK later as it was the moment it happened. I couldn't wipe it up, or sop it up, it was just gross and embarrassing.

It made my "down there" feel weird, it just didn't mix very well with the natural fluids-so it really wasn't a pleasant experience. Plus, "inside" it felt...kinda tingly-but in a bad way.

I have fairly sensitive skin, so maybe that has something to do with it, but to me, it just felt all wrong. I can't speak for the male experience, but I really didn't enjoy it, and I would never recommend this to a female.

They say it's supposed to be a lot like silicone lube, and I have no experience with that, so that might play into my experience as well, but it just...I just hate this stuff.

I mean, it did what it was supposed to do, be...well...a lube. BUT it felt gross the entire time. I mean, even when you tried to wipe it off, it still left oily-feeling residue. I woke up the next morning feeling like there was...greasy honey on my skin-that's the only way I know how to explain it. It just seemed too much like a chemical to me, I suppose. It just didn't feel right.

To be perfectly honest, I couldn't bear to even try it again. It feels gross on my fingers, it feels gross on my body. I never want to deal with it again and I really have no idea why on earth it is as popular as it is- I just don't see how ANYBODY could enjoy that stuff.
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This review was edited by
  • Buttercup Green Contributor: Buttercup Green
  • Rank:
    6.5 / 10
  • Edited reviews: 213
Comments
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  • Contributor: MrGoodTool
    Thanks for the review!
  • Contributor: spunkmonkey
    My brother loves this stuff. He gave me a bottle. I have not had any of the problems you have had. Sorry it did not work for you. Thanks for the review.
  • Contributor: Starshiptrooper84
    Thanks for the review, sorry it sucked so bad for ya.
  • Contributor: HarpAngel999
    It seemed like it should have been fine, but it just felt gross to me, I really prefer the Sliquid lube. It felt like like the normal body fluids, which this didn't, so perhaps that's why I didn't like it
  • Contributor: Kirill1171
    Great review!
  • Contributor: hro789
    thanks for the review
  • Contributor: spineyogurt
    Thanks for the review!
  • Contributor: lilys
    great review
  • Contributor: xxxbluexxx
    thanks for the review!
  • Contributor: Innocence Is Bliss
    Thank you, Harp. Personally, I'll go with your judgement on this one.
  • Contributor: Wicked Wahine
    This sounds dreadful, eek! Thanks for the review!
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