Pjur, I had such high hopes. I loved your backdoor lube. I really loved your bodyglide. I do not love this, Pjur. I don't even like this.

Pjur Aqua is a water-based lubricant which contains the following ingredients:

Aqua
Glycerin
Ethoxydiglycol
Guar Hydroxypropyltreimonium
Chloride
Hydroxyethylcellolose
Citric Acid
Benzyl Alcohol
Methylisothiazolinone
Methylchloroisothiazolinone

It advertises itself as being a few things: latex condom safe, extra slippery, oil-free, fat-free, fragrance free, stain-free, tasteless, and requiring no after-use cleanup. Unfortunately, it lies, and we all know that liars never get far in life.

Pjur Aqua is, in fact, condom safe, and stain-free on everything it's come in contact with so far. As for being fat-free, I'm going to have to trust their ingredient list and hope that it won't add any oily or fatty calories onto my diet. It is also fairly odorless.

Sadly, that's where the similarities between the product and its description end. Pjur Aqua tastes sickeningly sweet but still slightly bitter, the best way to describe it is that it's a bit like licking a sugar packet and an orange peel together. Either way, it's very unpleasant and certainly not tasteless. the product is very slippery when it is first applied, but that slickness fades a bit too quickly for my taste, it must be frequently reapplied to maintain usefulness. On silicone and plastic toys, it needed much more frequent application than skin on skin use required.

When it is applied and friction occurs, like when you rub your hands together to spread it around, it goes from being clear to being an almost frothy milk-white colour, similar to cum or thin Elmer's glue. This does not pose a problem usage-wise but was a bit surprising and off-putting (when you expect your hands to be flesh-coloured and what appears to be Elmer's glue shows up instead, first I was shocked and then I couldn't stop giggling).

The second big problem is the stickiness. When you're done using it, and you wipe it off or it dies of its own accord, you quickly see that it is extremely sticky. Although when you run your hands on a napkin, it doesn't appear to be sticky, when you touch them together or on another part of skin, it's as sticky as if you've recently squeezed an orange and wiped it off without washing your hands. The only way to completely remove the stickiness is with soap and water--this definitely requires after-use cleanup if you don't want to feel like you've been dipped in maple syrup (but not the tasty and delicious kind).

The bottle comes sealed in plastic so that you know it's not been tampered with and it's easy to open. The bottle itself is a twist-top, and is easy to open and close, while still providing adequate protection from spills. When you remove the top, it's open, with a small hole out of which the lubricant can be poured. Although you can squeeze the bottle, I found that it was sufficient to just turn it upside down and shake it, making this good for arthritic hands.

Well, I tried this again as a jackoff lube and it did work well enough. It was still as sticky as molasses, though, which made it a fairly unpleasant experience. I'm afraid this one is going to be relegated to emergency lube only, if it doesn't get tossed out entirely.