Classic Erotica's Happy Penis is a penis massage cream according to the product labeling. It is meant to go on thick and creamy and then to be massaged until a tingle is felt. However, it is also flavored. The flavors are mint, cherry, banana, or pina colada. Currently, Eden is only offering pina colada and mint. However, for the recent promotion on this item, only mint could be chosen. I was a little hesitant to order the mint flavor...even for less than half price, but I have been very pleasantly surprised. This offers more of an Andes Mint flavor than the typical chemical-aftertaste mint of other flavored oral products.

Happy Penis is the consistency of Vaseline brand lotion, and it is very smooth. It's also very light green. When massaged, it doesn't readily soak into the skin...rather it forms a white creamy finish of sorts. I suppose this is why some say that this item is as good for a hand job as it is for oral. It doesn't need reapplied often either. The cap makes it easy to squeeze the product out, or the cap can be untwisted when the bottle is more on the empty side. I was able to wash the product off with just water, but leaving this item on for a long period of time before washing seems to soften the skin and causes no negative reactions.

I LOVE the taste of Happy Penis. It has the Andes Mint flavor and the smell to go along with it. It's not overpowering in the least. However, I would shake the bottle before use to mix the peppermint oil in more evenly. The smell is a little stronger than the taste. I don't taste any of the other ingredients specifically in this formula.

Ingredients:
Water, mineral oil, cetyl alcohol, glyceryl stearate, PEG-100 stearate, cetearyl alcohol, polysorbate 60, peppermint oil, xanthan gum, carbomer, triethanolamine, sodium benzoate, potassium sorbate, diazolidinyl urea, sucralose, sodium saccharin, disodium EDTA, blue 1, and yellow 5.

Since Happy Penis doesn't immediately absorb into the skin and becomes creamy when rubbed, it works exceptionally well for a hand job. However, thanks to the lovely taste, it is also a lot of fun for oral sex. I haven't used the product and then immediately had sex after without washing, so I won't speculate on how it works as a lubricant in that way. The tingling is a very light sensation, and I wish that it were a stronger sensation. However, if that would alter the taste, it wouldn't be worth it.

This bottle is pretty unique. The cap can be pulled up and pushed down in order to open and close a small hole in the top, or the entire cap can be twisted off. Either way is convenient, and it doesn't leak. The bottle actually states that this item is "raging mint" flavor, but the mint isn't scarily strong. The bottle is a 4 ounce bottle with three penises on the front. There is a red, a tan, and a white penis, and they all have smiling faces. It's hilarious, but it's also not even close to discreet. The ingredients list is included right on the bottle as well.

I have tried so many horribly flavored products that only an extreme sale could entice me to buy this item. Now, I am so glad that I didn't let my past bad experiences stop me from purchasing this altogether. I would love to see Eden come back with all four flavors in stock though...I'm hearing a lot of good things about the banana flavored!