Astroglide is the Jenna Jameson of lubes. It's slick, wet, and everybody knows its job. It's also widely available and you can probably find it at a gas station near you (no, that's not another Jenna joke). It's a water-based lubricant that has stood the test of time through millions of sack sessions. Be warned though, it does contain glycerin, a lubricant additive that has been known to cause yeast infections (it's derived of sugar, which encourages the growth of microbes). There isn't anything particularly WRONG with Astroglide, but there isn't much that's right, either.

Astroglide is thin and slippery, almost like baby oil. When there isn't enough applied to the body part being played with, it has a tendency to get tacky and sticky and needs reapplication frequently. And, like baby oil, it gets all over the place and doesn't stay where it's supposed to. Astroglide's iconic purple-accented bottle makes the lube easy to apply, but use a gentle touch when you DO apply, because if tipped just the right way, the bottle squirts and you may find yourself covered in a lot more lube than you intended. This isn't exactly bad, but it is messy.

Astroglide does have a faintly sweet scent but only if you stick your nose all up in its business. It does contain the artificial sweetener aspartame, so yes, if you ingest it, you will find a chemically sweet taste, but I wouldn't recommend using this stuff for oral sex. A pussy or cock slathered with Astroglide just doesn't scream "LICK ME!" and if you do find it in your mouth, you won't be too happy. The listed ingredients include Purified Water, Glycerin, Propylene Glycol, Hydroxyethyl Cellulose, Aspartame, Methylparaben, and Sodium Benzoate.

As mentioned earlier, Astroglide gets messy. My boyfriend and I picked this up at a local drugstore in a rush when we were out of our favorite lube. We each tested it on the backs of out hands and he commented that it felt like my natural juices. I shrugged and we bought the bottle and took it home to play with. After pouring a small amount on my pussy, I was initially thrilled because of the silkiness and texture. It was nice. We started having sex and then it got uncomfortably tacky. "Ew" is the scientific term for it. I grabbed the bottle from the nightstand and opened and tilted it and the lube gushed out onto my lady bits. I got enough on there this time, but still, we had to reapply once again when we switched positions, maybe 10 minutes later. That's when we noticed the huge wet spot (oil slick?) on the sheets. The Astroglide had slid off my pussy and onto the sheets.

My partner and I do not use lube for oral sex, so I can't attest to how it would perform, but as mentioned earlier, it doesn't taste yummy, even when it accidentally gets in your mouth. Seeing as our first foray into Astroglide territory didn't turn out so well, we decided against using it for anal sex. Though while I was alone with my rubber butt plug and tube of Astroglide, in a pinch I decided to try it out. I watched and giggled as it slid off the plug entirely. I never let it get near my butthole after that.

The Astroglide bottle isn't bad in itself, but the hole that the lube comes out of is quite large, so be careful if you're like me and squeeze the hell out of every bottle of lube you get your paws on. The bottle has a tendency to gush.

As an emergency lube, Astroglide is tolerable, but be on the lookout for a better lube if you can help it. I really had high hopes and kinda felt like using Astroglide was a rite of passage of sorts. Now I stay away from it. If anyone wants a bottle, feel free to contact me, because it's still on my nightstand, looking lonely and unused.

Although Astroglide contains glycerin, I didn't notice any irritation other than the annoying tackiness during sex. I'm personally quite prone to yeast infections, too, so this is a good thing.