You have toys. You have toys that you stuff under your bed, in your sock drawer, under your pillow, in a box of other junk nobody will ever think to look in...Imagine, if you will, that you collect the lint and dust and random bits of string and odds and ends in those places and you put them in your vagina. I don't mind saying that the thought is pretty gross.

Fear not! For the mere price of $9, you get a slice of effectively simple design. This baby's sporting a pink satin interior that swaddles your toys with a safe, lint-free environment to keep your treasures from getting a bad case of the crusties. It's small, lightweight, and discreet enough for travel, which is one advantage over investment in a lockable box. It's easy on the eyes and nice to touch, though the outside can be a bit of a lint magnet due to the kind of micro-suede(ish) feel.

If you've got a massive arsenal of self-love material, this pouch will hold about two or three standard vibrators, which means there is also plenty of room to stash eggs, bullets, kegel balls, or even small to medium-sized containers of lube. The satin may 'grab' a bit if there's a hint of moisture (such as after you've washed your toy, if it's not completely dry), but it otherwise will not shed, tear, lint, grope, or borrow without asking, and really, what more could you ask for?

If you've got nosy neighbors or snoopy kids, obviously this isn't going to keep prying eyes out due to the drawstring design that's not about to dissuade anyone from peeking, but it is certainly a step up from leaving your jelly dong flying at half-mast on the coffee table. With an affordable price, an efficient, simple, and functional design that refrains from being too flashy, I predict this being a hit with the college crowd who would rather be spending their money on booze and good sex toys than the actual storage part.

It feels weird writing a follow-up review to a toy pouch, but I thought that I should check back in since the growth of my toy collection has lead me to an interesting discovery.

Please, for the sake of your sanity, keep your jelly toys away from this. They won't go in. No, really! This isn't a challenge. Jelly toys are going to suck up and cling to every bit of slick satin fabric they touch and it will absolutely refuse to get in all the way. You will drop four-letter words. You will discover new four-letter words you've never thought of before. You will not be happy.

Stick with hard plastic toys when stashing your goodies in this and save yourself the headache.