Okay, maybe "a necessary evil" is a slight exaggeration. Liberator's Safari Throe is not evil. Actually, it's not even sentient so I'm pretty sure it doesn't have any kind of moral alignment. But it's definitely a real pain in the butt and a difficult product to review as a result. On the one hand, the reviewers that have raved about this Throe are 100% correct. This is a squirter's not-so-wet dream; it catches fluids - and this bad boy can catch hold a LOT of fluids - and it holds them.

No more soaking sheets, no more laundry loads of wet towels, and perhaps best of all no more rushing around after sex to clean things up. This thing might be worth the money simply because I can go right to sleep after making a big mess. With the Throe you can worry about all that stuff later. It's not even just an asset for squirters either because it does a great job of catching any kind of mess of lube or sweat or whatever. Frankly, sex can be gross and Liberator's Safari Throe wants to help you make it less gross.

And it succeeds! It really does. It makes my life so much easier. I'm one of those people that can (usually) "hold back" and not squirt if I don't want to (though it does often lessen the impact of the orgasm) but now? I squirt to my hearts content and it is, excuse the pun, SO. FUCKING. LIBERATING. This thing is a massive 60" x 54" so it can easily cover almost any mattress and gives me lots of room to romp. When I'm done with it all I have to do is pop it in the washer on the gentle cycle and either air dry it on the line or dry it on low heat. I don't even have to wash it with every use - usually I'll let it dry and use it a few more times before I wash it again. On average I'd say I only feel the need to clean it every 4 or 5 sessions. It's such a breeze to maintain. So why am I so torn about it? Eh. It's a combination of a few factors.

My biggest issue is not with the performance of the Throe as a fluid-repellent blanket, but rather with the fact that there are much, much cheaper alternatives. Thanks to kids having trouble conquering their potty training milestones, squirters can go to Target and pick up a plastic sheet that slips over the mattress and repels water. Not to mention those suspiciously Throe-like picnic blankets that function in more or less the same exact way but cost far less. This Liberator offering does a great job of sopping up my mess, but for 85 big ones I'm not sure it does anything more than the waterproof picnic blanket. Except maybe look a whole lot sexier - and I should add it does. I placed my order and got a cheetah print blanket instead of the depicted zebra, but I decided to keep it because the saucy kitty print grew on me. Definitely prettier than a rubber sheet.

So is it worth the price? It really depends on how badly you want to sex up your bedroom via the aesthetics of your linens. If the zebra pattern gives you the warm tinglies? Makes you want to call it a night early so you have an excuse to jump this thing and put it to use? The price is worth it. If all you want is something to save you a lot of laundry, but you don't care what it looks like, then this isn't the way to go.

A couple of other things irked me enough to drop my overall rating of this product. The promotional photos from Liberator made me think I was going to be able to use this to curl up on and watch tv, study, or just hang out on naked so I could enjoy its softness against my skin. It looks so damn plush and pretty! Sadly, this isn't quite the reality of the situation. The Throe is made from three layers of material - on one side there is black satin, on the other patterned microfiber, and between these two layers is the waterproof material that stops fluids from seeping through to the other side. In my personal opinion, neither the microfiber or the satin was very comfortable. Overall, I prefer the satin side because the microfiber makes me itch if I lie on it too long, but even this side isn't especially plush or comfortable. I was expecting something a little more luxurious, unfortunately Liberator did not quite deliver.

The waterproof layer is also surprisingly noisy. It reminds me of the sound a thick, plastic shower curtain I used to own made. It's just very...crinkly and not at all sexy. The waterproof layer also adds a substantial amount of bulk to this blanket which makes it heavy and a bit unwieldy; it's four freaking pounds, people!!! I've found it's a real pain in the ass to fold up and store, and it takes up a little more space than I'd like for a seemingly thin Throe. However, these attributes may not bother everyone the way they bother me. It's possible that I'm just a big Crankypants - in fact, this possibility has been suggested to me many times before.

Also keep in mind that depending on how rough and crazy you get between (and on) the sheets, this Throe may not be useful to you at all - because it may not stay put under you! For solo use I have no problem with this staying right in place under me because I don't flail around so much as I do during partner sex. So when it's just me and some toys? This thing rocks. Does exactly what I need it to by sopping up the flood waters. When I'm with someone else? Things don't always work out as well. Depending on how much movement there is this Throe does have a tendency to slide out from underneath us which kind of defeats the point of it even being there at all, right? I love fucking on the carpet with this under me though because the rug has enough bite to "grip" the Throe, so to speak, and keep it in place. On the bed it's a problem, though.

So in the end I just feel conflicted about the Throe. It gets tons of use in spite of how inconvenient and expensive I think it is, and I am glad I have one. I suppose at the end of the day I do grudgingly love this thing. My real problem is that I think Liberator needs to knock off some dollars on the price or take this back to the drawing board from some revisions. It has the potential to be truly awesome with a little work.

My Throe has gotten a bit more broken in after many washes and uses. It's grown on me a bit since I reviewed it last year. I still don't think it's worth the $80 unless you're especially keen on the aesthetics, but I can't lie; I do enjoy the leopard print. This is decidedly more luxurious than a lot of cheaper options, but it ultimately accomplishes the same thing those options do. So, do I like it more? Yes. Do I use it regularly? Absolutely. Am I convinced it's worth the price? My answer on that remains no.