Hey guys! Lilac Distraction here to introduce to you the latest and greatest item in the EF Swag lineup. It's cooler than after sex wipes, more useful than a tote bag, and much sexier than a T-shirt. May I present to you . . . The EdenFantasys Bath Towel! (Here's where you all applaud in excitement. Yay! Hooray!)

"But I already have towels! What's so great about this one?"

Well, let me show you. This baby here is much more than your average bath towel. Why is that? Well, just look at it! How many of your towels in you linen closet have such adorable designs on them? How many of them truly make you feel sexy and get a silly little grin on your face every time you see them? Unless you already have one the answer to that question would be none! What you get there for the mere price of $14.99 is a bath towel so luxurious, so versatile, and so pleasing to the eye that your other towels will look at it as jealousy because you're just not that into them anymore. Now that, my friends, is worth more than money can buy.

"But it says it's a beach towel . . . "

Let's be honest, how often do you find yourself at the beach? Probably not too often if you're like me and don't live remotely close to the land of blue seas. However, this bath towel and a little dash of the Kama Sutra Treasure of the Sea bath salts can make you feel like you're there anytime you want! Lay this baby out on your bathroom floor, play one of those ocean sounding musical tracks, and soak up all those ultraviolet lightbulb rays without having to worry about unattractive tan lines or stinky sunblock. Ready to take a dip? Grab those bath salts, pour them into your ordinary bath water, and you'll have a perfect oceanic retreat in the comfort of your home! No more embarrassing looks from passersby or having to see much more than you bargained for. Oh, and no sand to get wedged into your crevasses. That's never fun for anyone. Once you retire from your own little piece of ocean this towel will be there to soak up even the last bit of the sea off your skin. Faaaantastic!

You looking for a little motion in your ocean but don't want to make too much of a splash? This towel's got your back. It's always willing to be a little bit of insurance for when you're probing the depths and creating whirpools and tidal waves of pleasure. No one wants their sleeping cabin wet, now do they? This wonder in the towel world is always always more than travel the seas with you. You'll never have to worry about it spilling any of your dirty secrets and always take pleasure in your little inside jokes that make others scratch their heads.

And can you believe this? This could all be yours for the low, low price of $14.99!

Okay, now for the things that people like to read in reviews:

It's an impressive 59" long and 29 1/2" long which is quite larger than ordinary bath towels. It may not be super plushy, either. Think normal beach towel thickness here. Surprisingly, it is quite absorbent and soft and makes for an awesome bath towel. Oh, not to mention, it works really well for a sexytime towel, too. It's large enough that you can fold it a few times for added protection while still having enough room to work with.

The design is incredibly cute. Normally I wouldn't pay $15 for a towel, but the adorable look of it completely sold me. It's modern, fun, and attractive, but modest enough to be used by anyone and in any situation.

It's also 100% cotton. Sometimes cotton gets all mangled in the wash, but this one holds up rather nicely. The color of mine hasn't faded at all in the few washes it's been through and it's actually gotten softer and a bit fluffer. Cool, huh? Wash it as you would any other towel.

So there you have it, folks. Grab one, grab two, or grab more than a few.

After tons of washes and a whole lot of use this towel is still one of the best I have in my stash. I'm contemplating stocking up on more of them just because I like this one so much. Totally a great deal here. I mean, it's cozy, cute, and a pretty damn awesome bath towel if you ask me.