The Wahl Clipper Corporation is a name you may recognize from the world beyond sex toys, as it is perhaps best known to society at large for producing hair clippers. Growing up I recall the deep, thrumming vibrations of Wahl Clippers in my hand as my hairdresser mother instructed me in the rudiments of cutting and shaping up heads. It was only a matter of time before they realized how marketable that deep, thrumming vibration could be. As it turns out, that realization didn't take them long; by the mid 70s Wahl had realized a line of "back" and "foot" massagers.

As a kid I ran into the original 2-Speed Wahl Massager while exploring the parental closets of many childhood playmates quite often. The 2-Speed Wahl came to a more muted, underground fame as a perverted "therapeutic massager," unlike its contemporary Hitachi, which rapidly became a household name. Afterall, the Wahl is hideous and weighs roughly as much as a newborn elephant. The Hitachi is just slightly less cumbersome than a small semiautomatic weapon and therefore when compared to the Wahl it seemed destined therefore for a wider audience.

But Wahl has slowly built its name as a genital-rocking massager, and has more recently put out a prettier version of the formerly drab Deluxe Wand which now features an attractive silver body and ruby colored trim. Most exciting to me was the development of an altogether new vibrator; the Rechargeable Wahl Mini. RECHARGEABLE. MINI. WAHL. These three words in succession just made me all kinds of giddy inside. No obnoxious cord. No gigantic, ugly ray gun looking massager that could break your big toe if you dropped it on your foot. The new Wahl on the block actually looked kind of cute; small, hand held and a kind of pretty, sparkly taupe color.

So when I finally got the opportunity to try this I hung around all day waiting for it to finish charging. I wasn't even put off by the cheap plastic "base" that the Mini charged on. The base is actually just a hollow ring of plastic that you feed the charging cable through; the cable itself doesn't plug into the base, but rather into the wall. The little ring of plastic only helps your Mini stand at attention while it charges and frankly, I see no need for this. I quickly chucked the base in the garbage after a single use. It should have been my first tip off that the Mini would need more work before it reached the level of awesome of its two predecessors, but I was willing to give it the benefit of the doubt.

Unfortunately, the Wahl Mini kept striking out for me. The crappy cardboard box this came in didn't count against it because most massagers do come in crappy cardboard boxes, so I let that slide. But right out of the box I was already frustrated with my Mini. My attachments fell all over the place because they weren't properly sealed and when I went to test my new toy to see if it came with any charge, I physically could not move the on/off switch. After breaking my thumb nail trying to make it budge, I eventually got my keys and used one to pry it free. There was no charge, so frustrated by the broken nail situation, I left it on the charger to do its thing.

I came back around 8 hours later and the little red light beneath the on/off switch was still on - indicating it was not finished charging. I left for another few hours and finally the light was off. Again I felt giddy at the prospect of testing this new toy, so my frustration about the switch, base and charging time melted away. I armed myself with a key to pry its stubborn switch, a fistful of the PVC attachments and the Wahl and headed to my bed.

Off the bat I must mention that these PVC attachments are highly porous; do not share them with non-fluided bonded partners and do not expect them to last forever unless you consistently use a barrier method. They will absorb smells and eventually become gross even if you only use them solo. Anticipate that you will eventually require some kind of replacement head for your massager; this is not one of thise heirloom, pass-along-to-the-grandkids kind of toys. There is a life expectancy here. In the meantime clean your attachments with antibacterial soap and hot water or a toy cleaner after each use to keep them clean and make them last. The vibrator itself is NOT waterproof; do not take it in the bath, shower, or put it under running water to clean it. A damp cloth will clean the Wahl Mini itself adequately.

I should offer the disclaimer that while I honestly did not like this toy, I still give it four stars because objectively I can see many power-lovers adoring the Wahl Mini. If you really adore EXTREMELY intense vibrations and you're sick of being chained to the wall with a cord during playtime, don't let my review be the final say for you. Simply consider mine a cautionary tale.

Personally? I was unable to keep this on my clit for more than a moment or so before I was completely desensitized and itching like crazy from over-stimulation. I tried all seven attachments and only one out of six felt decent to me: the Spot Applicator which has an outer ring and a smaller rounded bulb in the center. The triangle shaped knuckle massager, the two suction cup shaped attachments, the creepy attachment that reminds me vaguely of an old talk radio microphone, the HORRID prickly thing that needled my clitoris like some evil hell demon...they all filled me with murderous rage. The Spot Applicator was gloriously comfortable, that is until I hot-wired my Mini on with some prodding with a key or pen cap and got the motor going. Then I was just filled with panic that my clitoris was literally going to fall off.

In the end? No orgasm. I lost all feeling, became furiously itchy, or just far too overwhelmed and uncomfortable with the intensity before I got anywhere near the point of climax. Game over. I lose. I tried so many times hoping for different results. I tried all the attachments, I even tried it through my pants, thinking it would dampen the vibrations. All that did was diffuse the vibrations all throughout my crotch and upper thighs, which felt kind of cool, but not at all orgasmic.

The Wahl Mini only has one speed. Its single speed is about as strong as the 2-Speed Wahl on its lowest setting if that gives you any idea what a monster the 2-Speed is. If the Wahl Mini had a lower speed? Who knows, maybe we'd be friends, because I will concede that the Mini's vibrations are delightfully deep and thrumming. On my back and neck I loved it, although anyone that has enjoyed this as a facial/scalp massager is a braver individual than I. Truly, I was terrified to put this near my scalp or face! I plan to give this away to a friend, but there is some small part of me that will miss it because it is a badass back massager.

I can't say exactly why I hate this thing so much. I have the Acuvibe Mini and love to occasionally blast my clitoris with its insane power. Maybe it's because the vibration is distributed throughout its large head, while the Wahl Mini's attachments all are pretty localized in their application of the vibration. For whatever reason, it left me really frustrated and disappointed that I couldn't love it. Doesn't mean it won't work for you, but if there's a chance your clit may not love all this power, you may want to look elsewhere.

I did give this to a friend, though a part of me was sad to see it go. It's a great product: ton's of power, durability at a decent price, could pass for a "back massager" so it's pretty discreet, a whole mess of attachment options to choose from. I just can't use this thing without flying out of the bed yelping. Too much power. My friend loved it, and you might too. Just be sure you're ready to give ConEdison a run for their money with the power this thing packs - you could run a city on it!