Ok, reality check. I lived in Kyoto for three years, and I can attest that this product has NOTHING to do with real Geisha culture, it's a marketing shtick. If this were my product I'd simply call it the "FRUIT FLAVORED SLIME PIT OF DOOM!" which I think sounds way more awesome (and slightly less racist) than "Oriental Body Slide," though I realize not everyone may agree with me here.

I read the reviews of this product and was admittedly compelled. It sounded complicated, but potentially awesome. I'm a grappler, and I enjoy wrestling in oil, so wouldn't this be similar? Well, not exactly.

I recruited a willing victim and got to work, laying a blanket over my living room rug, then creating the pit structure with folded blankets and towels (you will need biggish beach towels for this.)You then drape a thin but durable gold plastic sheet over the towels to create a sort of wrestling pit. I kind of felt like Dexter setting up his kill room. The pit isn't really big enough to roll around in, but two average people can fit, side by side. Then you mix up the two bottles of liquid (I got strawberries and champagne flavor, which smells like a slightly upscale version of strawberry soda)with 3.5 liters (1 gallon) of warm water. I would suggest using hot tap water and letting it cool to the temp you want, since it feels way better if the slime is warm. (More on this later).

I had NO IDEA how much liquid 3.5 liters (plus the two bottles of liquid) would add up to. I wound up using a biggish plastic storage container because even my biggest mixing bowl wasn't big enough. So you get a pretty generous amount of fruity slime from this kit.

I had my victim get naked and lie down in the pit, and poured the slime all over him. I was hoping that we could writhe around and wrestle a bit, but the second I attempted to straddle him, I literally SLID OFF HIS BODY. This is a seriously zero friction zone, which makes it kind of difficult to engage with your partner in any way, especially with such limited space. You definitely could NOT have sex on this thing. It was kind of fun, but the novelty wore off pretty quickly, especially since once the gel cooled, my partner started feeling cold and sad. We threw in the towel (or rather, toweled off the gel) after about 5 minutes and hopped in the shower.

Again- this is a cool idea, but there was a lot I wasn't crazy about. The plastic didn't tear, but some slime did slosh onto the underlying towels and blanket despite my best intentions. The smell was way too artificial for my liking, and both my partner and myself got a headache after using it, so it's possible it contained some chemical we were allergic too. I believe the slime is edible, but I can't say it's something you'd really want in your mouth. The play space was too small and I spent longer setting it up than I did playing on it, the slime was too slippery for us to really accomplish any sexy fun, and it got chilly way too fast. But if you're truly curious about this product it's inexpensive enough to try as an experiment. I'll stick to oil wrestling personally.

It's pretty hard to write a follow up to a one-time use product, other than to say I probably won't be buying it again. My experience left me cold, literally!