Ready . . . Aim . . . FIRE!!!
Okay, at first I thought that this couldn't be a real product but I was wrong. Just the same, XploZion, seems to fail (at least after one use) as a "dietary supplement" to increase "ejaculate volume" and no differences were noted. Oh well . . .
Published:
Pros
Very interesting concept for a "male enhancement product" and perhaps useful for a good laugh.
Cons
Failed to produce any perceptible change as an "ejaculate volumizer".
WARNING – This review discusses BODILY FLUIDS in graphic detail. Read at your own risk!
XploZion claims to be a “natural male ejaculation volumizer” although the small print states that it “has not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.” With that in mind, I wondered if it would turn my cock into a veritable cum cannon. Would I be able to blast a hole through the wall? Knock off the annoying cats that like to get in the way while I’m enjoying some quality penis time? Would this wondrous male supplement cause me to lose weight every time I jacked off? Heck, I was so excited (okay, I really wasn’t hard yet), that I thought I’d do a little research into this product first - just to make sure it was safe to use. The obvious place was to begin with was the manufacturer’s own web site. While the information there is almost as minimal as found on the packaging, the site does state that:
“XploZion is an all-natural enhancer for men that maximizes the volume of ejaculation for a more intense, satisfying orgasm!
"XploZion's proprietary blend of herbal ingredients is proven to add power, volume and intensity to every ejaculation. With XploZion you will be able to deliver multiple (roped) orgasms, proving to your lover that you can go on and on all night!”
Tell me it’s not true! Will this really turn my dick into SUPER PENIS? Just the thought of shooting rope after rope of cum all night long – with “more ejaculate volume” and a “faster reload time” (another claim by the manufacturer) – sounds amazing! Okay, so what should I do now? How am I going to ensure that I don’t flood my place or drown my cats with jizz due to this miraculous product?
Just to play it safe, I read the directions very carefully and wondered how I might proceed with this review. Should I use a “discreet semen collection device” - the description used by Fleshlight when they patented their wondrous masturbators? Should I use an open-ended pocket pussy so that when my power hose let loose, I wouldn’t damage a prized masturbator by shooting too much cum? Perhaps it would be safest to use “old reliable” – my fist? That way, I could aim where I wanted in order to avoid causing any damage from the endless ropes of cum that would soon be blasting from my tool. Oh, so many decisions!
The problem was that each of the above methods had its own strengths and weaknesses. If I used a Fleshlight, I could damage it by by cumming too hard - but I would also have a method to weigh the increased amount of ejaculate (gosh, that sounds so scientific). I also wouldn’t be able to observe just how many “ropes (multiple orgasms)” would fly out or see how far I shot.
If I used open-ended masturbators, such as the Vicky Quickie Pocket Pussy, I could pound away and regardless of how powerful the multiple ropes of cum would be, there would still be someplace for them to shoot the “harder, more stronger orgasms” promised by XploZion. There was always the chance, however, that each blast might not have a fully unobstructed pathway and it would then not be possible to see how far I shot. That, of course, leaves only manual labor in order to collect the specimen(s) but that isn’t always as fun.
Decisions, decisions, decisions . . . what’s a man to do when he has to write an honest review about a “natural male ejaculation volumizer?” Then there was an additional problem – as the intent of using XploZion is to blow as big of a load as possible, just how should I maximize that potential? Well . . .one has to make sure that the tanks are fully charged so a good long session would be required – no use of the Fleshlight STU this time! The package also notes that XploZion should be taken one hour before the big event – that should provide enough quality time for the big buildup!
Okay, time to begin the product testing process. The package was opened, the two tablets were ingested, and I got to work. Very slowly of course as I had to wait a full hour before I could rub one out. I’ll spare those details for now other than to say that my penis explored a variety of toys during that time although none would be used for the money shot.
. . . and the results are . . . well, you’ll have to read the rest of the review to find out!
XploZion claims to be a “natural male ejaculation volumizer” although the small print states that it “has not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.” With that in mind, I wondered if it would turn my cock into a veritable cum cannon. Would I be able to blast a hole through the wall? Knock off the annoying cats that like to get in the way while I’m enjoying some quality penis time? Would this wondrous male supplement cause me to lose weight every time I jacked off? Heck, I was so excited (okay, I really wasn’t hard yet), that I thought I’d do a little research into this product first - just to make sure it was safe to use. The obvious place was to begin with was the manufacturer’s own web site. While the information there is almost as minimal as found on the packaging, the site does state that:
“XploZion is an all-natural enhancer for men that maximizes the volume of ejaculation for a more intense, satisfying orgasm!
"XploZion's proprietary blend of herbal ingredients is proven to add power, volume and intensity to every ejaculation. With XploZion you will be able to deliver multiple (roped) orgasms, proving to your lover that you can go on and on all night!”
Tell me it’s not true! Will this really turn my dick into SUPER PENIS? Just the thought of shooting rope after rope of cum all night long – with “more ejaculate volume” and a “faster reload time” (another claim by the manufacturer) – sounds amazing! Okay, so what should I do now? How am I going to ensure that I don’t flood my place or drown my cats with jizz due to this miraculous product?
Just to play it safe, I read the directions very carefully and wondered how I might proceed with this review. Should I use a “discreet semen collection device” - the description used by Fleshlight when they patented their wondrous masturbators? Should I use an open-ended pocket pussy so that when my power hose let loose, I wouldn’t damage a prized masturbator by shooting too much cum? Perhaps it would be safest to use “old reliable” – my fist? That way, I could aim where I wanted in order to avoid causing any damage from the endless ropes of cum that would soon be blasting from my tool. Oh, so many decisions!
The problem was that each of the above methods had its own strengths and weaknesses. If I used a Fleshlight, I could damage it by by cumming too hard - but I would also have a method to weigh the increased amount of ejaculate (gosh, that sounds so scientific). I also wouldn’t be able to observe just how many “ropes (multiple orgasms)” would fly out or see how far I shot.
If I used open-ended masturbators, such as the Vicky Quickie Pocket Pussy, I could pound away and regardless of how powerful the multiple ropes of cum would be, there would still be someplace for them to shoot the “harder, more stronger orgasms” promised by XploZion. There was always the chance, however, that each blast might not have a fully unobstructed pathway and it would then not be possible to see how far I shot. That, of course, leaves only manual labor in order to collect the specimen(s) but that isn’t always as fun.
Decisions, decisions, decisions . . . what’s a man to do when he has to write an honest review about a “natural male ejaculation volumizer?” Then there was an additional problem – as the intent of using XploZion is to blow as big of a load as possible, just how should I maximize that potential? Well . . .one has to make sure that the tanks are fully charged so a good long session would be required – no use of the Fleshlight STU this time! The package also notes that XploZion should be taken one hour before the big event – that should provide enough quality time for the big buildup!
Okay, time to begin the product testing process. The package was opened, the two tablets were ingested, and I got to work. Very slowly of course as I had to wait a full hour before I could rub one out. I’ll spare those details for now other than to say that my penis explored a variety of toys during that time although none would be used for the money shot.
. . . and the results are . . . well, you’ll have to read the rest of the review to find out!
Experience
Ingredients
The package I received contained two, very smooth, capsules which were tasteless. Fortunately, a list of ingredients was included and these provided a clue as to the secrets hidden within this “natural male ejaculation volumizer” (got to love that term!). Specifically, it was noted that the “serving size” was 2 capsules and that there were, allegedly, 30 “servings” per container. I only received 1 serving so I had to give it my BEST shot the first time!
XploZion contains some very healthy things – vitamins! Yummy! These are Vitamin C, Vitamin E, Niacin, Vitamin B12, and Zinc. A single serving provides from 100 to 250 percent of the recommended daily amount. This “enhancer” provides a WHOPPING 16,667 percent (no, that’s not a typo) of the recommended daily dose of Vitamin B12!
A second set of ingredients is also listed but without a recommended daily amount. Apparently, cum production isn’t on the FDA’s high priority list. They are all harmless but each has been used in "male enhancement" products. Interestingly, the scientific literature suggests that each of these may actually do something, although these studies have used much higher doses and were conducted over an extended period of time; here’s a list of the magic ingredients:
Hydrolyzed Whey Protein (Milk) – found in lots of “male enhancement” supplements so it must be be good. Right?
Flower Pollen Extract – purportedly facilitates the flow of fluids through the penis.
Pine Bark Extract – allegedly “improves erectile quality” over time.
Pygeum Bark Extract – supposed to be useful in helping with prostate problems.
Maca Root Extract – at least one site proclaims this to be “Peru's Natural Viagra!” The National Institute of Health notes that maca root has “improved semen parameters in adult men.” In fact, the study showed that “treatment with Maca resulted in increased seminal volume, sperm count per ejaculum, motile sperm count, and sperm motility. Serum hormone levels were not modified with Maca treatment. Increase of sperm count was not related to dose of Maca.” Wow! This sounds amazing!
Chrysin – among other things, this increases levels of testosterone.
Don’t these sound yummy! (Sorry, but there was no taste at all).
Packaging
The package is discreet - no need to worry about traveling with this unless you’re concerned that TSA might want to read it. The package is made from a metal foil so it may set off security sensors. If in doubt, swallow before going through security and plan on getting off during the flight – just be careful you don’t shoot your load through the plane’s skin – you might end up depressurizing more than your nuts and that could have fatal repercussions! Of course, the name “XploZion” is also a bit risky to go through security and it’s unlikely that most men will want to share just what they're planning on exploding . . .
Okay, so what actually happened at the big moment? Did bells and whistles go off? Was any property damaged? Did I have to call flood control? Alas, I'm sad to report that I noticed no difference - not even a good rope or two - just a big dribble. Very disappointing. Oh well . . . it was was fun trying!
The package I received contained two, very smooth, capsules which were tasteless. Fortunately, a list of ingredients was included and these provided a clue as to the secrets hidden within this “natural male ejaculation volumizer” (got to love that term!). Specifically, it was noted that the “serving size” was 2 capsules and that there were, allegedly, 30 “servings” per container. I only received 1 serving so I had to give it my BEST shot the first time!
XploZion contains some very healthy things – vitamins! Yummy! These are Vitamin C, Vitamin E, Niacin, Vitamin B12, and Zinc. A single serving provides from 100 to 250 percent of the recommended daily amount. This “enhancer” provides a WHOPPING 16,667 percent (no, that’s not a typo) of the recommended daily dose of Vitamin B12!
A second set of ingredients is also listed but without a recommended daily amount. Apparently, cum production isn’t on the FDA’s high priority list. They are all harmless but each has been used in "male enhancement" products. Interestingly, the scientific literature suggests that each of these may actually do something, although these studies have used much higher doses and were conducted over an extended period of time; here’s a list of the magic ingredients:
Hydrolyzed Whey Protein (Milk) – found in lots of “male enhancement” supplements so it must be be good. Right?
Flower Pollen Extract – purportedly facilitates the flow of fluids through the penis.
Pine Bark Extract – allegedly “improves erectile quality” over time.
Pygeum Bark Extract – supposed to be useful in helping with prostate problems.
Maca Root Extract – at least one site proclaims this to be “Peru's Natural Viagra!” The National Institute of Health notes that maca root has “improved semen parameters in adult men.” In fact, the study showed that “treatment with Maca resulted in increased seminal volume, sperm count per ejaculum, motile sperm count, and sperm motility. Serum hormone levels were not modified with Maca treatment. Increase of sperm count was not related to dose of Maca.” Wow! This sounds amazing!
Chrysin – among other things, this increases levels of testosterone.
Don’t these sound yummy! (Sorry, but there was no taste at all).
Packaging
The package is discreet - no need to worry about traveling with this unless you’re concerned that TSA might want to read it. The package is made from a metal foil so it may set off security sensors. If in doubt, swallow before going through security and plan on getting off during the flight – just be careful you don’t shoot your load through the plane’s skin – you might end up depressurizing more than your nuts and that could have fatal repercussions! Of course, the name “XploZion” is also a bit risky to go through security and it’s unlikely that most men will want to share just what they're planning on exploding . . .
Okay, so what actually happened at the big moment? Did bells and whistles go off? Was any property damaged? Did I have to call flood control? Alas, I'm sad to report that I noticed no difference - not even a good rope or two - just a big dribble. Very disappointing. Oh well . . . it was was fun trying!
Follow-up commentary
11 days after original review
Normally, I wait two full months before I post a follow-up review but as XploZion was a one-shot deal (pun intended), what’s the point of waiting? As I noted in my review, all I got was a big dribble – not even one good rope. Geez! What a letdown that was! Of course, I continued to hope for some delayed effects – maybe a good blast the next day, completely drain my tanks on the third, and so on . . . Well, it just didn’t happen. Heck, why even bother? I’m mean, XploZion made so many wild claims that I was hoping it would give me an Uzi-penis! Even so, I’ve laughed a lot about this product ever since I first heard about it through EF. That’s always a good thing.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the
FTC guidelines.
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Comments
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Holy crap, that's a lot of B12.
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Hi DeliciousSurprise, Yeah, there's a LOT of B12 in it!
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Also, if my calculations are correct - there is approximately, there's enough B12 in one does to meet the recommended daily dose for nearly 46 YEARS! (Of course, it would have to last that long in your system - which it doesn't).
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Holy hell, haha, that's a lot of B12. Thanks for sharing!
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Yeah, it's a lot!
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