Picobong's Supreme Fail

The Picobong massage candle is all in all a big, huge flop. I see where they were trying to go with it, but it seems their car ran out of gas and they didn't quite get there. The candle leaves you feeling greasy and gunky, causes more drag than without it, and the scent doesn't carry past a few inches. The verdict? Do yourself a favor and stay far away!
Published:
Pros
Could be used to set the mood
Ambiance
Cons
Actually creates more drag
Takes a long time to melt/burn
Scent doesn't carry
Rating by reviewer:
1
extremely useful review

Use

Theoretically, the Picobong massage candle can be melted and used in place of a massage oil or lotion. In practice however, this is sorely not the case. It takes about 20 minutes to melt enough to cover even a small area. It's fine to pour the wax right after you blow out the candle as the liquid is warm, but not painfully so. Ten seconds after you pour it, however, the wax starts to become thicker. As you rub it in, the wax creates more and more drag the longer you rub. After using the candle, I had to go wash the grease off my hands and my recipient had to jump in the shower! It was not a pleasant experience for either of us.

I wish I could say you can just use it as a regular candle, but the truth is you can barely even smell it. The only real use I can think of is to use it as a tea light to try and get your lover into the mood. In all, this candle just really sucks. I'm glad I didn't pay for it, or I'd really be annoyed.

MC 3

MC 4

MC 5
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Gag gift
    • Mood enhancer
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • On a bed

Texture / Consistency / Thickness / Viscosity

The texture of the candle when melted and poured is very greasy. It's easy to pour and stays where you want it to, but after that it just kind of...sits there, getting thicker and thicker.

MC 6

MC 7
    • Greasy
    • Thick

Taste / Aroma

My candle is the Choco/chili scent, but it doesn't smell like chocolate to me. I'm not sure what it smells like really. I asked a friend to smell it and she said it smells like caramel to her. When the candle is burning, your nose has to be right up on it in order for you to smell it, even then it doesn't smell particularly good, just like a regular candle.
    • Light smell

Performance

This is just bad. Flat out. It doesn't aid in giving a massage. It doesn't work as just a regular candle. The scent doesn't carry, and after applying it, you just feel greasy, gunky, and in need of a shower. The fluid and grease came off easily with dish soap, although my recipient had a little trouble cleaning it off his shoulders, mainly due to the odd angle.
    • Needs to be washed off with soap and water
    • Reapply often
    • Gets sticky

Packaging

The packaging for the Picobong massage candle is incredibly simple, a piece of purple cardstock wrapped around the candle. The bottom comes undone, freeing the candle. On the back is listed how to use the candle and a list of ingredients. I wish the candle came in a actual box instead of just some flimsy cardstock.

MC 1

MC 2
    • Can be opened with one hand
    • Discreet looking packaging
    • Easy to use / dispense

Personal comments

Do not buy this. It's not worth even a cent of your money. Trust me on this.

Experience

I won this candle in the St. Patty's day party and thought to myself, Picobong's a division of Lelo, right? This should be nice! Imagine my surprise when the Picobong massage candle failed at literally every use it could possibly have. It took 30 minutes to melt enough to cover my recipient's shoulders alone, created more drag than it took away, and left us both feeling very greasy. It was hard to smell when burning, and the only purpose I can see it ever serving is to maybe create ambiance.
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This review was edited by
  • Kindred Contributor: Kindred
  • Rank:
    6.7 / 10
  • Edited reviews: 1214
Comments
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  • Contributor: Lavendar
    thanks for reviewing!
  • Contributor: mistressg
    Too bad it didn't work out for you. I've been considering getting one of these, but I'll pass.
  • Contributor: marshmallow
    thanks!
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