Body moisturizer discontinued
by Sensuous Beauty

My Breasts Smell Like Grandma's Bathroom!

Breast Balm is a product that is perfectly suited for breast self exam, and little else. Don't look to this for lube or for massage oil
Published:
Pros
Great balance of friction and slickness for use in breast self exams
Cons
Too sticky for massage, very intensely scented
Rating by reviewer:
2
extremely useful review

Use

Breast Balm is so named because it is intended to be used as a "smear on your boobies" kind of product - for your breast exams or other moments you find yourself wanting a waxy-oil all over your chest. By all means, think outside of the box and apply this balm elsewhere on your body - it *is* an intense, Vaseline like moisturizer that could help dry elbows or feet. Just don't get it in your eyes or other sensitive mucous membrane type areas - with a product this fragrant, allergic response (as in burning) is a real risk.
    • Breast exam
    • Massage

Texture / Consistency / Thickness / Viscosity

The texture of this balm is not unlike Vaseline crossed with beeswax. It's rather stiff and stick at room temperature, but does warm somewhat at body temperature. Calling this a massage product, however, is laughable - it is far too thick for rubbing of any degree of intensity, and I would call it sticky instead of slick.
    • Greasy
    • Oily
    • Sticky

Taste / Aroma

As advertised, the Blossoming Rose fragrance smells like roses. Lots and lots of roses. It's a very clean and pure rose scent, indicative of quality perfume ingredients, but it's *just* rose smell. No depth, complexity, youth and vigor - just plain and simple roses, like the scent of a potpourri bowl in an old woman's guest bathroom. Not really sexy, not really soothing - just mostly strong and overwhelming. It doesn't linger too badly, as the scent is clean, but it's too intense to be used in excess.
    • Strong smell

Performance

The scent stops me from using enough to really feel like my boobs are slippery, and if I don't use tonnes my boobs just feel sticky and kind of gross. Not fun at all. It does, however, absorb into skin quickly, and the scent dissipates well enough to leave just a faint hint behind.
    • Absorbs into skin nicely

Experience

Right off the bat, the scent turned me off. I mean, I like roses well enough and figured it would be a nice scent for boob massage, but this is ROSES!ROSES!ROSES! No good. Naively I tried to have my partner use this as massage cream to give me a boob massage, but it didn't work out because the stickiness of the balm never seemed to decrease and the friction was making me feel like my nipples might detach. To put it bluntly, I would rather be punched in the boobs than have this stuff rubbed onto my boobs.

However, when used as an aid for a breast self exam, it was good. The texture provided enough pull to move the flesh to and from to feel the tissue beneath with very little effort. Also, I could see the act of massaging it into my own breasts during a self exam giving me really soft boob skin over time, helping prevent stretch-marks as well.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

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Comments
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  • Contributor: dv8
    Maybe your grandma uses Breast Balm too!
  • Contributor: kelaaa33wish
    Lol dv8

    Thanks for the good review.
  • Contributor: Shellz31
    Ewwwww @ smelling like granny.....lol.
    I'll be ditching this from my list!

    Cheers on the review
  • Contributor: Pleasure Piratess
    Yup, think I'll pass on this one too. Thanks for the review!
  • Contributor: ToyGurl
    Good review, I'm not sure if I want to smell like grandma though! lol
  • Contributor: Antipova
    Good description of the fragrance. Thanks, Red.
  • Contributor: El-Jaro
    Great Review! Thanks for the laughs!
  • Contributor: B8trDude
    I get the feeling that you come up smelling like roses after using this . . .
  • Contributor: Blooddragon
    Thanku!
  • Contributor: pinkzombie
    Nice review!
  • Contributor: averageguyextrodinarypleasure
    Umm gross, funny but now I have a bad visual thanks for that
  • Contributor: Red
    @ijako9 Uh, well...sorry that your imagination went somewhere bad for you
  • Contributor: lovebites
    thanks for the review!
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