\They call it the "Cadillac of vibrators". The much beloved "Magic Wand". The one vibrator that every woman must try, before she shuffles off her mortal coil. I read about the vibrator long ago as a teenager and instantly wanted it. It was touted as the ultimate orgasm machine. I really wanted it after I realized I needed a lot of stimulation from come from a toy. When I was out browsing for a new butt plug, I laid eyes on this beauty here at EF. I had to have it. I bought it, and eagerly awaited its arrival.

Lucky for me (I suppose) the wand arrived along with the other toy I ordered while my partner was not home. I whisked it off to the bedroom immediately for some orgasmic bliss. The box it came in was quaintly amusing, with pictures of people rubbing their shoulders with the Hitachi. I opened the box and pulled the hulking monstrosity out.

It's HUGE. At a foot long, it clears the length of my forearm. Coiled at the end was the plain white power cord that is to be plugged into an electric outlet. The body of the vibrator is hard white plastic. The vibrating mechanism itself is a white ball, about the size of a baseball.

The speed control was a single switch that could turn it higher if you flicked it to one side, turned the vibrator off if flicked to the middle, and turned the lower of the two speed if you left it the other way. It has just two settings, though according to many, that's all you really need.

I shed my knickers, laid down, lubed up, and turned it on. Ho-lee mother of God that thing is loud. At its lower setting, it sounds like a lawn mower. At the higher setting it sounds like a 747. Perhaps I exaggerate but the Hitachi is indeed very loud, enough to give me pause in surprise. No matter, I put it on the lower setting and lowered it to my clit.

I laid there with the things buzzing away, trying and straining towards orgasm, but the vibrations were not acute enough for even get me near. The head of the vibrator was textured in a way that did not feel good at all. It bothered my day old stubble. It got warm. It got very warm. It was cumbersome and bulky. It didn't get me off. I was so disappointed. After twenty minutes of trying, I turned it off and picked up my trusted Vivid Dreams Savanna to finish the job, which it always does; like a champ.

I wasn't willing to give up though. I tried again, a couple weeks later, paired with some good porn. I still go absolutely nowhere. As a matter of fact, it made it more difficult to achieve orgasm with another toy because of how numb the vibrations had made me. Ultimately this vibrator let me down. I was expecting screams of ecstasy, the ultimate in pleasure. I was sorely disappointed.

I've concluded that, while the Hitachi provides an insane amount of power, it is simply not acute enough for me. The texture of it was also a detracting feature, though that could be remedied with one of the covers sold here on EF. Ultimately, I think I'll stick to my smaller vibes.