Ever embark on a sexual adventure so extensive, so utterly satisfying and dangerously hot that you eventually collapsed into bed, breathless, slathered with cum and glistening with a fine sheen of sweat? How on earth could you possibly rouse yourself enough to slide your legs over the edge of the bed, stand up and stagger to the bathroom to wash yourself off? Sounds like an awful lot of work...but hark! A solution to your ungodly plight hath been conceived! (And it doesn't involve rolling yourself up in the sheets like a great big fluffy burrito, and flopping and flailing around on the floor until you reach the bathtub, where you finally fling yourself in and become...the Human Agitator-tor-tor-or-r! Think of the fun you'd have if there were also stairs.) They're called Afterglow Toy and Body Wipes!

Personally, I think "afterglow" could either mean these wipes will leave you feeling blissfully radiant or just plain radioactive. I'd go for either, though I'd relish the chance of becoming a five and a half foot-tall glow stick. Bring on the rave parties.

Well, not really. "Afterglow" as in like the lambent blush that colors your cheeks immediately after orgasm. (How poetic...)

Each pack of wipes contains 20 pre-moistened natural astringent tissues (less wasteful than the individually wrapped wipes in the 24 count box). They measure 5 1/2 by 7 1/2 inches, which is not quite the 7.9" by 5.9" printed on the front of the package. The package itself is wonderfully ambiguous, alight with a deep orange and vivid yellow color scheme. A casual passerby would hardly notice it. Only the fine print ("twenty toy tissues by DevineToys" on the front and "afterglow toy tissues" on the side) brands this cute little container as being of a sexual nature. Couples can keep it tucked away in a drawer or in plain sight on their nightstand or dresser without worry. Easy to get to and always at the ready.

Or if you're like me and live in a house with two room mates and sometimes need to smuggle your toys to the bathroom like they're contraband just to perform standard maintenance, an alternative is always welcome. They make a wonderful solution for cleaning toys made of hard materials with smooth, non-sticky surfaces, and are best used for freshening your business end. They could be used on the rest of your body, but they aren't designed to be regular use freshness tissues like baby wipes and such. They're good-sized, but they aren't thick enough for such extended use.

They contain bergamot orange oil extract (the very same stuff that is in Earl Gray tea...yum!) which acts as both a natural fragrance and as an antiseptic, known to cool and soothe inflamed skin. Another natural ingredient is what they term as "Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Juice." We know it as Aloe Vera or medicinal aloe, which moisturizes and acts as a mild antibacterial agent. And if you're wondering what Hydrogenated Castor Oil is, it's just a type of vegetable oil commonly found in cosmetics and lubricants to help the wipes resist moisture loss. Some ingredients in these wipes are natural, some aren't, but none of them will harm your toys (a lot of them are commonly found in lubricants). Had enough of my chemistry lesson? Let's get to the nitty gritty!

I only had three different types of toy materials in my collection at the time I tried these, including Ballsy (Sil-a-Gel), Jel-Lee Vibrator (Jel-Lee), and Blueberry Bliss Vibrator (Plastic). However, this was enough of a range for me to gauge the versatility of these wipes. Any toy material that has a tacky quality to it will not work as well (such as Jelly, Rubber, Sil-a-Gel, TPR, UR3, etc.). The stickiness tends to cause extra friction over time, which dries out the wipe faster. The drier it gets, the more loose fibers it leaves behind on the toy (which you're so diligently attempting to get clean). Depending on how many toys you use a wipe to clean, as well as their individual size and texture, the results may vary. Bigger, more heavily textured toys with many ridges and crevices to scour may need a wipe to themselves. However, you could probably clean 3 average-sized toys with low to moderate texture without hassle.

For hard toys with smooth surfaces like Metal, Plastic, Pyrex Glass, and Wood, the wipes will work wonderfully. Excessive texture may still pose a very minor problem, but these materials can always be wiped off afterward with a dry cloth without incident.

I noticed that, all around, they work better while the lubes and bodily fluids on your toys are still wet. If they become dried it takes more scrubbing, and thus more fibers are left behind.

When using these wipes on your skin, there aren't such limitations. You can safely use them anywhere on your body (though, like I said, your naughty bits are the intended spot) that needs a quick freshening up, whether you just got busy or not. The moisture left behind on your skin drys quickly and doesn't leave a residue. However, it does leave your skin with the faint scent of bergamot, which fades in a short time. I happen to really love Earl Gray tea, so it doesn't bother me one bit.

As an added bonus, these cloths can also be re-hydrated with a little water just in case they dry out, which tends to happen with the resealable package. The clear plastic pull tab doesn't like to bend back very far and tends to get wet every time you pull out a wipe. After not too long it won't reseal, causing the wipes to dry. Just add a little water to the pack until the wipes are moist again (they probably won't sanitize as well because the solution will be diluted, but you'll still get your money's worth).

If you're a fan of preventative measures you can always stick them in a sandwich bag. In fact, you probably should do so anyway once you get these wipes. The closer you get to the bottom of the pack, the more dried out they become. Lastly, allow me to remind you that these wipes do not replace a good old fashioned antibacterial hand soap and warm water wash, and certainly not sterilization. They are meant to clean your toys well enough for temporary storage before you manage to transport them to the nearest sink, which is why they are such a great travel companion.

I love having these wipes on hand and I hope they stick around for a long time. Though, I fear calling them "inconspicuous" may now be a misnomer. The packages I received most recently (from a seller other than Eden) are different. They boldly declare themselves "Cleaning Tissues for Sexual Health," with a new label "SHE," which stands for "sexual health enthusiasts."