Now why would anyone go and waste perfectly good milk by bathing in it? And why would you want milk and cake in your shower? That's abusurd!

Well, the answer is, as defined by Wikipedia:

"Milk Baths are just like regular baths, only with an addition of milk and often other scents such as lavender, honey, and essential oils. Cleopatra, Elizabeth I of England, Elisabeth of Bavaria, and others have historically acclaimed the beautifying benefits of these baths.

Milk baths are said to utilise lactic acid, an alpha hydroxy acid, to dissolve the proteins which hold together dead skin cells."

Oh, I get it now! That sounds delightful!

This Cake Milk Made Bath and Shower Cream is a fun way to have your cake (and of course the milk to go with it) and bathe in it, too. It's a scented moisturizing body wash that can also be used as bubble bath. Suds of fun! Bath poufs, loofahs, wash cloths, sponges, or even hands get the job done with this stuff. You can also use it to shave with. It's fun for women of all ages who need a little luxury and coziness in their lives. It's said to leave your skin smelling sweet and feeling as moist as freshly baked treats.

What's the recipe for this delicious (okay, don't eat it) cakey milk bath?

Water (Aqua), Sodium Trideceth Sulfate, Sunflower (Helianthus Annuus) Seed Oil, Canola Oil, Sodium Lauroamphoacetat, Cocamide MEA, Sodium Chloride, Glycerin, PEG-7 Glyceryl Cocoate, Polyquaternium-7, Hydroxypropyltrimonium Chloride, Fragrance (Parfum), Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea Butter), Althea Officinialis (Marshmallow) Extract, Milk Lipid, Phenoxyethanol, Tetrasodium EDTA, Citric Acid

No parabens! No triclosan! Hooray!

It is loaded with shea butter, and sunflower and canola oil that are wonderful moisturizers. There is real milk in here in the form of milk lipids. We've even got mashmallows! How fun! On the other hand, it does have glycerin but it shouldn't cause anyone any problems in this form, and fragrance. If you have super sensitive skin do a small patch test.

The body wash comes out slightly thinner than a gel or cream, but looks very milky. Think . . . slightly whipped heavy cream without the frothiness. That, or perhaps glazing icing. It's incredibly easy to dispense from the flip-top container. Even though it's thin it is very creamy and slick to the touch once applied to the skin. You can feel the oils doing a great job of coating you, but it's not greasy in the least. The thin consistency means you'll have to use a little more than you would if you were using a thicker wash. Afterwards, there is no real trace of it left on the skin and it washes off well.

I'm not usually the type of girl who is that much into sweet, sugary, or berry type scents. I go more for the cool aquatic varieties. I was a little pleased with this one. It's what I'd imagine a raspberry shortcake would smell like. Slightly berry, slightly vanilla, and pretty warm. It reminded me of little toys I had as a kid because it's more of an artifical smell. Think Strawberry Shortcake's friend Raspberry Tart.

It's not powerful. I could barely smell it while in the shower and it was completely gone from my skin once I rinsed it. This didn't bother me at all because the scent of this stuff isn't really compatible with the ones I prefer.

Now if we look at the actual water, we can see that there's not a lot of sudsy action going on there and the bubbles are quite unenthusiastic. This was shortly after the tub had filled up, too. (The water is blue from some Kama Sutra Treasure of the Sea I added after turning off the water to make this easier to demonstrate.) This is what 4 capfuls of this stuff gets you. I didn't want to pour half of the bottle in there for one bath. This one gets a 2 of 5 on the bubble bath scale.

Next up is the lather quality. This is after a good sudsing up with a hand. It's not super rich for lather, but it's trying. If you want to use it for shaving just spread some on and don't fluff it too much. It'll coat the skin so you can see what you're doing and provide a little razor protection for that. So for suds, this one is a partial dud. We'll say 3 of 5 here.

And for the final category: moisture. All of the reviews here when I ordered this said that this stuff was super awesome here, and that's what I was expecting. Sadly, it wasn't like that for me. I have really, really dry skin and it just looked at this stuff and laughed. 'Yeah, nice try.' I feel pretty clean, not the cleanest ever, but I feel like I have to put gobs of lotion on which is how I feel if I don't use soap at all. Even my Kama Sutra Ocean Blu Bathing Gel is more moisturizing than this and that's one that's more designed for scent than silkiness. (It does a great job at both, though.) Overall, not impressed. It didn't even halfway meet my expectations. Ehh. I might use it when I run out of other stuff which won't be any time soon. I might pass it on to a friend. Here it gets a 2 of 5. At least it didn't make my skin any drier.

Considering that you'd have to use quite a bit of this stuff for anything to actually go as planned, you'll end up using up the 17oz bottle pretty quickly. (Unless you're me and want it all far, far away.)

From the bottle:
"Nourish and gently cleanse your skin with this rich, creamy, and vitamin packed body wash. This dreamy lather is packed with avocado oil and shea butter to moisturize and whole milk and marshmallow extract to comfort, soothe, and protect skin. This is the ultimate in creamy, bubbly goodness."

Pssh. Lies. All lies.

I think it's time I see other body washes.

So we're a little less than pleased here.