Hi-light Luminous Body Lotion... what can I say about you? As the first Cake product I've tried that's disappointed me, I'm inclined to go easy on you. And yet? You leave my skin smelling like the milk left in my cereal bowl after I finish my Fruit Loops, and my clothes looking like I just finished gluing macaroni and glitter to Grandma's "get well soon" card. Then, most unforgivably, you don't even give my skin the whole glow thing your packaging boasts! Listen, Hi-light Luminous Body Lotion, I want to look like a Christmas tree... on fire... being doused with a fire hose full of glitter. Also, each fireman should preferably represent a different era of Cher's career, starting with her days with Sonny. Is that too much to ask from a lotion? Well, when it costs $30 for 8.5 ounces? I should hope not.

The thing about this moisturizer is that if it had almost any other name, I wouldn't hate it so much. It's the unfulfilled promise of "highlighting" properties that disappoints. Otherwise, I would simply consider this stuff a kind of odd smelling potion with some unneeded mica flecks. But, I'd probably still enjoy it for softening feet and elbows on occasion. I wouldn't want it all over my body, of course, not with that smell.

The scent is just a mess to me. Gourmand? Not quite. Right out of the bottle as I begin to rub it into my skin, I get a distinct scent of freshly ground cinnamon. This is the first note my nose can detect, and it's an auspicious one, but everything afterwards is downhill for me. I was hoping the cinnamon might give way to the hazelnut that the description touts, or some of the piquant citrus compliment. Unfortunately, what followed for me was a muddled blend of creamy, almost dairy-tinged sugar and saccharine, artificial fruit scents. None of the fruit scents were distinguishable, which is what called the Fruit Loops to mind. Ever separate the Fruit Loops out according to color? Ever notice a difference in taste? Me either. The vaguely fruit, principally sugary aroma fades quickly and mutates into a sugary marshmallow scent - think Rice Krispy Treat. This is the most tolerable incarnation of the Luminous aroma, but it's still not very impressive.

As I mentioned above, the smell isn't the only issue here. The pink mica flecks in this had serious prettiness potential, but fell far short of the mark. The only place that the sparkles stay put is between the spirals and swirls of your palm. Besides that, sparkles from lotion applied to arms, legs, chest, shoulders or anywhere else will come off on clothes, furniture, people you stand too close to, pets... everywhere. After wearing this for about an hour, there were virtually no flecks left on my body, but my outfit looked suddenly very much like the Rockettes around Christmas time. Highlighting lotions like this tend to be used to create interest and draw attention to your best assets: cleavage, a well defined set of collar bones and shoulders, legs, and so forth. Unfortunately, this lotion only succeeds in making your clothes look Vegas-ready, not in making you sparkle. For nearly $30, your highlighting lotion should probably be able to get the sparkle thing down, right?

The Luminous lotion does pull through as a decent moisturizer, though. Like the Body Mousse lotions from Cake Beauty, it does leave a bit of a waxy residue. This waxy residue is slight, but can leave skin feeling a bit clammy. It's a lot runnier than the mousses, however, and can run and drip if you don't carefully seal the bottle. To its credit, the Luminous lotion has got a bunch of fatty oils (jojoba see, mango seed, and safflower seed oils) to saturate dry skin, but the lotion absorbs quickly and doesn't leave skin greasy. It's good for healing dry patches on elbows, feet, knees, or even split cuticles. So, ironically, it's not much a lotion for going out on the town. But, for quiet self-love and pampering purposes, you could still salvage this lotion. Now, whether you want to shell out the money for this reason alone, that's up to you.

Cake Beauty's Hi-light Luminous Body Lotion comes in a sleek white bottle, with a plastic press cap coated in a metallic paint. It comes in a simple cardboard box with a light pink, metallic finish and bears the name of the company and the product. It also lists the ingredients, as well as a bunch of mumbo jumbo about how it will make my "gams" and "decollete" look all fancy. Hmph! So much for that. The packaging is quite pretty, though, and would make a nice gift, at least in terms of its aesthetic presentation.