The Good Head Kit for Him by Doc Johnson comes in a dark green box, which with some gift wrap could easily be turned into a gift for either someone who has never given head before in their lives. If you actually want to improve your fellatio skills, this... may not be the best choice.

The kit technically has five components, but one of the components is a Tip Card, which contains such basic information that it's only really useful for true newbies to fellatio. The other four "real" components are a full-sized tube of Doc Johnson's Good Head gel, a disposable vibrating cock ring, lip balm, and "oral sex mints". These were all, at the very best, mediocre in performance and, at the very worst, terrifying.

1. Good Head Gel: Since this gel was the highlight of the kit, I decided to try it first by myself. I placed a small amount of the green minty gel on my tongue and swallowed. The flavor is nice. It's not too sweet and the minty flavor isn't overpowering. However, my initial reaction of "Not bad," was soon replaced by "What’s that weird tickling sensation in my throat?”

Five minutes later, my throat started feeling a bit swollen, much like right before I get a sore throat. This feeling lasted until I washed it down with a glass of water. I asked around to see if anyone else had had a similar experience. One reviewer suggested that my reaction was due to parabens in this product, but I have never gotten this sort of reaction to parabens before. Then I found the expiration date stamped on the bottom of the bottle—the product had expired more than a month before I had received it. This is no fault of Eden Fantasys, since they received these kits after the printed date. The date is also printed on the bottle, not the box itself, so if you end up grabbing this kit from a brick and mortar store, be sure to open the box so you can check that your gel isn’t expired before purchasing.

2. Vibrating Love Ring: This ring is made from super stretchy, clear TPE and packaged in a tear-apart packet. It should fit most penises. The vibrating portion, meant to stimulate the clit or the perineum, is one-speed with a power switch on the side. The TPE covering the tiny vibe is textured to look like a butterfly. We slipped the ring on just his shaft with the help of a little water-based lube (silicone-based is ok too). As it turns out, the ring really isn’t tight enough to provide any extra erection time or strength, and the vibrations, while fine for teasing, don’t really do the trick. On top of that, there isn’t much of a clitoral “attachment” like similar rings have, like a little bunny or nub, so it’s hard for the vibes to even get to the clit.

3. Lip Balm: A tube of lip balm is thrown in so that your lips will be soft and sensuous when going down on your partner. Compared to your average tube of chap stick, the Good Head lip balm is softer, almost buttery. It has a minty flavor and feel to it, and as a lip moisturizer it works about as well as expected. It doesn’t last as long as my other chap sticks, so my lips end up drying out more when I use this balm. Its other drawback is lack of discretion. I take chap stick wherever I go, so I hesitate to bring a tube with the Good Head logo clearly emblazoned over its green paper cover, especially since the Good Head logo is the name inscribed in, well, a penis. Of course, if I wanted to, I could as easily remove the paper label and just take a plain tube with me. I don’t blame this lip balm for my laziness, though.

4. Oral Sex Mints: Four white mints are included in a tear-apart packet. These are meant to be used WHILE going down on your male-bodied partner. You stick one in your mouth and then, when it gets all minty cool, you wrap your lips around the penis of your choice. This is supposedly stimulating and awesome. Others have accomplished this with relative success. We were not so lucky. I put a mint in my mouth, waited a few seconds, and then went down on my boyfriend. Within seconds, he was pulling away, screeching, “It burns! It burns!” Not long after, the mint was burning my tongue, too, and I had to spit it out. I’ve sucked on my share of Altoids, but these mints were much stronger and the “burning” feeling was very intense. We threw the remaining two out.

This kit has gotten some pretty positive reviews from other contributors, so I am confused as to why it seems I received the “fail box”. Maybe it’s an issue with quality control. Maybe my boyfriend and I are more sensitive. Maybe we’re just whiny. Regardless of the reason, this kit just did not work for us. The gel was expired, the love ring was weak, the lip balm was ok, and the mints were burny. Based on my personal experience, I would not recommend this kit to any but those who are not super-sensitive or as a cute gag gift. However, others have enjoyed this kit just fine, so I must assume that there are many other customers who can enjoy this kit… Just not us.