Ugh. By far, my least favorite kind of review to write is one that bashes a product that is as beloved as the Kama Sutra Body Souffle is. But I really, really can't stay quiet about this. After lusting so long and hard after this stuff I am struggling to find a single good thing to say about it. I'm willing to believe I received one of a bad batch, or perhaps it had just passed its prime sitting on a shelf too long, but this is pretty awful nevertheless.

I chose the Creme Brulee which appears to be a buttery, golden caramel in the pictures here on Edenfantasys although in reality its much closer to the color of Hershey Kisses or other cheap milk chocolates. It comes in a decently sized plastic pot that contains about 7.5 ounces and goes for $20, which is pretty standard for quality, comparably sized body butters. I was expecting to get a lot of use out of this tub so I didn't mind spending a little bit more than what I would at Duane Reade. Unfortunately what I got was a cheap, Duane Reade quality product that came with a luxury price tag.

My foremost complaint with this product is that upon opening you are immediately hit with a very strong and very yeasty, fermented kind of smell like that of day old bottom shelf beer. Unlike a nice beer which is full of all the tasty notes of hops and herbs and other things, this guy just smacks of ...yeast growth. I have a sensitive nose so I had a few other people smell it, including my not-so-choosy teenage sister who immediately replied "EW that smells like BEER!" It is evidently not just me; this thing really does smell like beer. Beer mixed with a potent, saccharin sweet (it does contain saccharin) boxed brownie mix scent. Don't get me wrong because I do love me some Betty Crocker Brownie Mix, but it's not a smell I want all over my body. The souffle has a very unremarkable taste, one that is barely detectable and can only be described as vaguely sweet. It does not taste like chocolate or fudge or any variation thereof: just sugar.

The other thing that turned me off about this product was the texture. The first ingredient is water, and following after that most of the ingredients seem to be thickeners and flavor/scent ingredients. Kama Sutra's Body Souffle looks quite rich and yummy in the jar, but once scooped out it's very thin for a souffle. When rubbed between the fingers it simply feels watery; this lotion includes no oils and fats that would bulk it up and give it a more rich and substantial feeling. My skin feels oddly clammy after I use it...which I can only think is the combination of the water and dimethicone.

Which brings me to my final issue, which is the actual performance of this product as a moisturizer. Completely lackluster. Nothing in this product seems to be particularly concerned with actually conditioning the skin barring perhaps the dimethicone. Dimethicone is a silicone oil that I find generally makes me skin have a smooth feeling on the surface, but with no deeper feeling of hydration. Later in the day after using a silicone-based moisturizer my skin always feels thirsty and parched and I have to apply something oil based. This lotion also left my skin slightly stained, especially on my hands. My cuticles became dark brown as did the creases in my palm and finger prints. Seriously? $20 for some weird brown crap staining my body? Gross! The worst part is that when I rub my skin after using this lotion, y'know, to theoretically enjoy the silky smooth feeling left in its wake? Tiny globules of residue start to bunch up and slough off. If you ever put Elmer's glue on your hands as a kid and then rubbed your palms together for fun? Remember how the glue would kind of role up into little, sticky strands? Very similar situation here. Eesh, you know it's a problem when you're comparing your lotion to pre-school Elmer's experients...

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The ingredients for the Kama Sutra Body Souffle are as follows: Water, Ethylhexyl Palmitate, Cetyl Alcohol, Glyceryl Stearate, Caprylic/Capric Triglyceride, Glycerin, Dimethicone, Cetearyl Alcohol, Flavor, Polyacrylamide, C13/14 Isoparrafin, Laureth/7, PEG/100 Stearate, Carbomer, Sodium Saccharin, Sodium Hydroxide.

I've bolded the ingredients that I've mentioned above or alluded to as potential culprits for this poor performance. It's funny because I was originally a little hesitant to order due to all the hard to pronounce additives in this stuff, but it seemed like a sure thing because everyone else loves it. Total disappointment! A (very stupid) part of me wants to order the vanilla to see if this is some kind of fluke, but then I look at the ingredients again (that's the smart part of me!) and I know I can't. Ugh. So sad, I really wanted to love it and now I have a jar full of pricey goop that I can't use and can't give away because everyone thinks it's icky.

My opinion of this item has changed a little bit since I wrote my original review, although not enough that I would go back and change the rating. The flaws of this product still far outweigh the benefits of it for me. The breaking news here though is that I seem to have rid this 80% (rough calculation) of its boozy stink - and quite by accident.

I tried using this product about a month ago (it's just been sitting on my dresser) and the stench frustrated me yet again. In annoyance I must have forgotten to screw the lid back on, but I came back to my room the next day and realized it. As I went to put the cap back in place I realized a lot of the alcohol smell went away - maybe it evaporated? I'm not sure how or why but somehow airing it out helped the smell A LOT.

So now I find the smell pretty nice, actually, although nothing to write home about. It still stains my skin and fails to moisturize me whatsoever, but sometimes I put it on just to smell like Snackpack puddings!