I feel more ambivalent about "The Lowdown on Going Down" than any book in recent memory---this three-star rating actually represents a five-star rating for about half of the book's content, a three-star rating for the rest of the content, and a zero-star rating for the tone. The author seems to have been unable to choose between writing a useful workout manual or a giggle-inducing how-to for sixth graders.

The tone of this book was frustrating to sit through---in my opinion, if you refer to the tongue as a "pink love muscle" which should be applied to your lady's "lucky parts" in order to "rocket oral sex into the next stratosphere," you should not be writing sexual education books. Calling parts by their anatomical names, at least once in a while, encourages knowledge and open communication, while euphemisms coming from an education manual just reinforce the idea that sex is something that shouldn't be called by its name. I wonder if the author wrote this book in a more open tone, but was encouraged by her editor to make it a little more light-hearted to appeal to a broader audience? She does use technical terms in the technical chapters, but the fluffy chapters were packed with foolish language. These fluffy parts also use about four sentences for every one that was necessary, which is a personal pet peeve, and may or may not be annoying for you.

Even after all those complaints, though, I still want to recommend this book for the brilliant exercises it contains. In the same way that reading a few tips about playing the French horn and glancing at the music will not substitute for several weeks' practice when you go on stage, reading a few "stellar techniques" for cunnilingus in a popular magazine won't substitute for strong and agile tongue and lips. The author, a speech pathologist, realized that very few people are innately graced with good tongue habits, and wrote several sections of this book to provide a guide for improvement. I learned many neat exercises, which I assume she teaches to her clients. Because a ten dollar book is much cheaper than even one visit to a speech pathologist, and because most people probably do have poor oral habits (I just found out that I did!), I absolutely recommend that anyone read this book (or its companion geared for givers of fellatio, which I would assume contains the same important chapters).

The exercises are put out in four sections, preceded a brief rundown of where to keep your tongue. I want to evangelize this information (but can't because of copyright protection), because I assume most people do it wrong, and because if you feel how much stronger your tongue is after just this adjustment, you're likely to understand just how important the rest of these exercises can be. I started holding my tongue in the correct position about 20 minutes before I fell asleep, which was ideal, because my muscles started to feel fatigued after that much time. When I woke up, I held my tongue in "the Spot," and then flopped it back down to its old position, and found that the old position felt way less comfortable than the new one! My tongue naturally holds itself upright now, and I can feel an improvement in strength already.

So half of this 145-page, soft-bound book is must-read information, and the other half is common sense even for someone who's never performed cunnilingus. (Hey, straight girls aren't provided with many opportunities for that kind of thing.) Which is which? I usually avoid callout lists, but in this case where I'm recommending that any potential readers skip half of the chapters, I'm putting the useful chapters in bold print. The remainder range from common sense to vapid dreck.

1. "Even Tiger Woods Has to Practice: Preparing Yourself to Find (and Swing) Your Partner of Choice"
2. "When Your Mind Spoils Your Head: What Wrecks Oral Sex"
3. "Initial Tonguework for Lingual Love"
4. "Kissing" has useful exercises in the first half, and common sense kissing techniques in the second.
5. "Oral Sex Ground Rules"
6. "The Oral Sex Fitness Test"
7. "Basic Mouth Exercises"
8. "An Anatomy Class You Need to Pass"
9. "Quitters Never Climax: Breathing for Oral Sex" contains useful techniques for de-stressing your jaws to avoid lockjaw and fatigue. I've used some of these myself in yoga already, and I know that they're successful.
10. "Serious Sexercises"
11. "Essential Oral Sex Techniques"
12. "Put Some Ambition in Your Position: Postures That Will Make Her Purr"
13. "Vibrators, Dildos, and Other Miscellany for Misbehaving"
14. "Techniques to Wake Up the Neighborhood" is mostly common-sense except for the final few pages on threesomes, which introduced a few non-standard ideas.

Other than deleting half of the chapters, my only suggestion for this book is that a little pocket table of the names of the exercises be printed out at the end. The exercises are only recommended to be performed for a little while (assuming you keep your strength up by giving oral at least once a week), and are broken into four groups. I think I'll be more likely to do them if I have a 3x5 card printed out so I don't forget any, so I made just such a card. (You obviously need the book to make sense of the names of the exercises.) If you want to print out a copy for your use, see the link here.

Well, I'm glad I learned where to hold my tongue. I'll say that. My mouth feels stronger now than it did before reading this book and practicing a bit.

However, the childish tone for the rest of the book really ruined it for me, and I didn't want to keep it on my shelf, even as a conversation piece. I've given it to a friend, and she felt about the same way I did regarding the fluff chapters and lack of much content at all apart from the mouth exercises.

I would have greatly preferred a little exercise work booklet, and none of the giggly euphemisms.