Sex-Crazed Pre-Historians

Meet the Flintstones and watch them like you've never seen them before, getting down and dirty. The movie was spot on with the set and costume design, however the sex scenes are mostly average. I was underwhelmed by the Betty/Wilma scene, but found the Betty/Barney and Pebbles/Bam-Bam scenes to be pretty pleasing.
Published:
Pros
Great set and costume design, great casting, cute 1960's soundtrack
Cons
Average quality sex scenes, Wilma didn't even try to imitate her character
Rating by reviewer:
4
extremely useful review


Covers:

The front displays Betty, Wilma, Pebbles, Bam-Bam, Fred, and Barney in Fred’s car. The background is reminiscent of the cartoon and features a stone house and palm trees. Above the scene it reads “Yabba, Dabba…Do Her Hard!”

The back cover shows a few playful scenes but nothing nude. The images are only mildly suggestive and show things like Wilma showing Betty her panties and Betty in leopard print lingerie wielding a riding drop near an excited Barney. The rest of the scenes are chaste clips from the movie,

Menus:

The menus are easy to navigate. The first disc only has the movie and scene, whereas the second disc has all the special features.

Plot Overview: With potential spoilers

Fred (Peter O’Tool) is at work at the quarry seated atop his brontosaurus-crane. His mind wanders and he begins fantasizing about Betty (Brooke Lee Adams) and Wilma (Hilary Scott) having a lesbian romp. The scene is basic and includes kissing, breast play, oral, and scissoring.

Fred goes home to find that Wilma has an old friend, Tyler (Dale Dabone), who’s staying in town who seems very into her. Tyler leaves. Pebbles (Hayden Winters) appears and convinces her dad to let her borrow the car so she can hang out with Bam Bam (Seth Gamble).

Betty and Barney (Anthony Rosario) come over because Dino left a giant dump on Barney’s lawn and he needs help cleaning it up. Fred admits that he’s feeling insecure to Barney and they begin to have a heart to heart.

Barney reassures him that Wilma is probably still into him and that he’s about to experience some of the best sex of his life because women reach their sexual peak when they get older. He recounts a very sexy romp that he and Betty had.

He describes how Betty once wore this leopard print lingerie set and came in with a riding crop and told him flat out that they were going to have sex. The scene continues with oral stimulation and vaginal penetration.

Pebbles and Bam Bam are back from the movies. Pebbles is horny and begs Bam Bam to sneak into her room through the window so they can have sex. Bam Bam tells her he isn’t sure because he’s afraid of getting caught since her parents and his parents are in the living room watching 30 Rock together, and she isn’t exactly quiet. He sneaks in and they have oral and vaginal sex.

Fred knocks on Pebbles’ door and asks to come in, Bam Bam hides under the covers. Fred tells Pebbles that he’s accepting that she’s growing up. He tells her and Bam Bam good night. When Fred leaves, Bam Bam flips out and emerges from under the covers. He grabs his clothes and jumps out the window, afraid that Fred is trying to set up a trap.

Fred is on his way to work. Tyler comes by and slams the door in Fred’s face on the way out. Fred arrives at work and confides in Mr. Slate that he’s feeling insecure at home. Slate calls him a pussy. He gives a gruff pep talk and shoos him out.

Miss Stone (Misty Stone), Slate’s secretary, enters his office to transcribe a memo. She seduces Mr. Slate while he pops a bunch of Stone-Age equivalent Viagra. The scene includes oral stimulation and vaginal penetration.

At the rock quarry, Fred asks Barney out for burgers for lunch. Fred is upset that no one seems to remember his birthday.

When Fred gets back to work he starts daydreaming that Tyler and Wilma are having an affair. He imagines a sex scene which includes oral and vaginal penetration. He snaps back to reality when pterodactyl shit plops on his face.

Fred gets home to find that his family and friends planned a surprise birthday party. It also turns out that Tyler is Mr. Slate’s gay personal chef.

Camera & Sound

The picture quality was crisp and vibrant. The camera angles were consistently focused on the action.

The movie included music reminiscent of the 1960’s which faded as sex scenes progressed. It even included a laugh track which was an unexpected inclusion.

Bonus Features:

Behind the Scenes
Bonus Scene (Brooke Lee Adams/Mark Wood)
Photo Gallery
Chapter Index
Party Version
Bloopers
Cumshot Recap
Ipod Version
Experience
Personal Comments:

I was actually impressed by certain aspects of this movie. For instance, the voice imitations were dead on for every character except for Wilma (Hilary Stone), who didn’t really seem to be trying. Seriously listen to them talk and close your eyes, or watch a Flintstones clip on YouTube (on silent) with the sound from this movie playing over. It’ll trip you out.

I’m not gonna lie. I applaud not having to see Fred (Peter O’Tool) get naked. Perhaps this makes me an asshole, but the very idea of seeing him naked made me not want to watch this at all. Seriously. Not seeing him naked was a relief.

Brooke Lee Adams was a perfect pick for Betty. I got a little irritated with her giggle after awhile, but it made me wonder. Did Betty really giggle that much in the cartoons? I honestly can’t remember for the life of me.

I loved the set design, the campy recreated theme song and the cutesy music that was reminiscent of the 1960’s. Too bad I was bored by the majority of the sex scenes. Betty and Wilma’s scene was…meh, just like every other stereotypical girl-on-girl scene. Nothing special. I did like Betty and Barney’s scene and Pebbles and Bam-Bam’s scene.
Follow-up commentary
Out of the parody porns I've seen, I still think this porn is really funny. It's campy and it doesn't try to take itself seriously. The voice acting by the guy who plays Bam Bam cracks my shit up. My friends really liked watching this for bad porn night. I still show this to my friends when they ask about my funnier porns. One of the nicest things about this porn is that it actually does have some decent sex scenes, but it's still funnier (or campier) than it is sexy.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

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  • Contributor: M121212
    Thanks for the review
  • Contributor: Emma (Girl With Fire)
    great review. I had SUCH a hard time following this movie... I had no idea what was actually going on. I guess it is probably because I didn't like it much, I enjoyed your review though
  • Contributor: Joie de Cherresse
    Great review!
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