Rock-Hard Hilarity!

The Flintstones a XXX parody is a great addition to any collection. Authentic costumes and sets, a wonderful plot line, and amusing dialogue make this a movie worth watching. The sex is as vanilla as you can get, and not as arousing as one might hope, but there's always the party version if you're looking for some laughs.
Published:
Pros
Authentic costumes and sets, wonderful plot, decent actors.
Cons
Boring, long sex scenes, spitting.
Rating by reviewer:
3
extremely useful review

Content / Genre / Audience



The Flintstones a XXX parody gives us a comedic, arousing look into the love and lives of everyone's favorite prehistoric family. This two hour long flick plays out like a standard Flintstones episode, with a few bed-rocking sex scenes in between. The general storyline is that Fred finds himself struggling with a mid-life crisis. Pebbles is 18 now and getting ready to move out of the house. Fred is feeling old, less than desirable, and a little insecure. He fears that without Pebbles there for the two of them to focus on, that Wilma will start looking closer at their own relationship and find him lacking. It's a wonderful real life storyline that should have been out of place in this porno-parody, but somehow worked well.

Scene One:
Our story begins with a sexy daydream via Fred. Work is almost out, he's tired and bored from the daily routine, and begins to fantasize about Wilma and Betty fooling around at home. The scene cuts to the two girls having an imaginary show and tell of their undergarments. This evolves into kissing, gentle touching, and nipple play. From there you can expect rubbing, licking, fingering, spanking, analingus, 69ing, and scissoring. Oh, and spit. Be prepared for lots of spit. The BF and I found Wilma to be a little too vocal. Her moaning was surprisingly loud, considering how soft the rest of the dialogue was during this scene. Most laugh-worthy quote: "Lick my ass, get in there Wilma." I enjoyed this scene, but I felt it dragged on a little too long. It ends as it began (in a lip-lock), before the work bell rings snapping Fred back to reality.

Scene Two:
Fred arrives home after a long day of work to find a handsome, unknown man in his house. Wilma introduces him as Tyler, an old friend who's visiting to help work on a project. He departs shortly after, leaving a suspicious Fred in his wake. This is where Pebbles appears and asks to borrow the car for her date with BamBam. Fred is reluctant, not only about the date but also the fact that his daughter is growing up and moving out, but he finally relents and she goes on her merry way. Barney and Betty arrive at this point to discuss neighborly concerns, before the boys head out into the yard to clean up. It's at this point that Fred confides his uncertainty about Pebbles leaving home, and his insecurities that Wilma won't want him anymore. Barney gives him a pep talk about love and women reaching their sexual peak later in life. He goes on to say that ever since BamBam moved out, him and Betty have been more and more "active". He recounts an encounter from just the other day when Betty walked in decked out in some rather suggestive attire and pounced on him. The flashback scene includes kissing, breast play, cunnilingus, fingering, fellatio, spit, and a variety of penetrative positions. The pair had some good chemistry together, the scene wasn't over-dramatized, and there was a distinct lack of "sex music". Barney was completely drenched in sweat for the duration of this scene however, and it was a pretty big turnoff. Their sexual exploits end with a cum-shot to Betty's pussy, before Barney rubs his dick in it and penetrates her again. Betty then admits that she's bisexual, and she would like to have sex with Wilma. The film fades back to Barney who's just now noticed that Fred passed out on the lawn with a boner.

Scene Three:
Pebbles and BamBam have just arrived home from their date. BamBam walks Pebbles up to the front door where she tempts him to come inside and have some fun. BamBam refuses due to the fact that both of their parents are inside, and Fred would likely kill him if they got caught. After some persuading on Pebbles' part, he agrees to sneak inside through the window. They meet up in her bedroom and vanilla teenage sex ensues. Expect fingering, cunnilingus, fellatio, spanking, doggy style, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, and missionary. The scene ends with Pebbles getting a facial. BamBam had some excellent aim, as he managed to get a large majority of it in her eye, and a bit in the atrocious wig she was wearing. I personally found the scene a little boring, but the BF seemed to like it. Fred comes into the room at the end and BamBam hides under the covers. He has a heart to heart with his daughter, wishes her goodnight, and says goodnight to BamBam as well. When he leaves, BamBam has a panic attack. Certain that Fred's gone to get a club to beat him with, he dashes out her window where Fred is actually waiting for him.

Scene Four:
Fred finds himself in his boss' office at work. Fred's looking rather glum, and Mr. Slate demands to know what's the matter with him. Fred sullenly admits that today was his birthday, and not a soul seems to have noticed. Mr. Slate then proceeds to give him a crappy pep-talk that essentially boils down to, "don't be a pussy". He dismisses Fred, and calls his secretary, Ms. Stone into the office where he proceeds to fantasize about her while she writes a memo for him. He downs a few "Rock Hard Pills" and finds his fantasies realized when Ms. Stone starts feeling him up. What follows is probably the most disturbing scene in the entire film. Both the BF & I found it incredibly creepy and nowhere close to arousing. I guess the bald, aging Mr. Stone just doesn't do it for us. The scene ends with him ejaculating on her ass. She then proceeds to play with the cum and rub it into her skin before the camera fades out.

Scene Five:
After a short chat with Barney where he reassures Fred that Wilma only has eyes for him, Fred falls victim to another of his notorious daydreams. He imagines Wilma at home, slaving away in the kitchen in nothing but an apron, pining for him. His daydream turns nightmare when Tyler sweeps in and proceeds to ravish his wife on the kitchen floor. Poor Fred can do nothing but watch as Tyler fucks Wilma doggy style and reverse cowgirl, giving her a little oral play and receiving some in return before coming all over her face. Fred awakens from his nightmare thanks to a pterodactyl crapping on his face. Work lets out, and he hops in the car with Barney to head home.

Continued....

Actors

...Continued

Fred arrives home and enters the house after Barney. He's convinced himself that Wilma must have a surprise party planned for him, and is beyond discouraged when he finds no one awaiting his arrival. From the living room he hears Tyler and Wilma talking suggestively in the kitchen with Barney. To his jealous, insecure, suspicious mind it sounds like his best friend and Wilma's "good friend" are getting ready to fuck her! He becomes overcome with anger and prepares to storm into the kitchen, but the swinging kitchen door smacks right into him and he tumbles to the floor. Everyone rushes to his side and Wilma admits that they were trying to surprise him for his birthday. Tyler turns out to Mr. Slate's personal chef, and she "borrowed" him to make a huge birthday dinner for Fred. Aside from this, Tyler is also gay, and more interested in shacking up with Fred than his wife. This comes as a huge surprise to Fred, and he feels completely abashed, but happy. Cue the mushy "We Love You" scene, and all's well that ends well.


Actors:
Peter O'Tool as Fred, Hillary Scott as Wilma, Anthony Rosano as Barney, Brook Lee Adams as Betty, Seth Gamble as BamBam, Hayden Winters as Pebbles, Rod Fontana as Mr. Slate, Misty Stone as Ms. Stone, and Dale DaBone as Tyler.

Fred: Peter O'Tool played the role of Fred Flintstone. He played the part well, but was never included in a single sex scene.

Wilma: Wilma was played by Hillary Scott. I honestly felt that her performance was sub-par. She didn't really seem to get into the role of her character, and for some reason I didn't particularly enjoy watching her sex scenes either. She moaned a lot, and not in a believable way. It got annoying after a while.

Barney: Anthony Rosano was a great choice for the role of Barney. He really seemed to have put a lot of thought and practice into his character, and even managed to maintain it during his sex scene with Betty. I will admit that the voice was a little strange to hear while trying to get into the sex though. Also, he was sweating buckets, which both the BF and I found unappealing.

Betty: Brook Lee Adams was hands down my favorite actor in this film. She was phenomenal in the role of Betty! The voice, the laugh, her look-- it was all perfect. I also found her to be the most attractive female in the film. I really got into her scenes, and it was cute rather than odd that she managed to stay in character so well during them. I would watch the movie again just for her performance.

BamBam: There's not much to say about this one. Seth Gamble played the role of BamBam (what little part he had, anyways). The acting wasn't awesome, but it wasn't horrible. I didn't particular enjoy his sex scene, but the BF seemed to like it, so perhaps it's just a matter of taste.

Pebbles: Hayden Winters was cast as Pebbles, and I can understand why. She fit the role well, and she wasn't nearly as annoying as I feared. Again her sex scene with Gamble was just ho-hum for me.

Mr. Slate: Rod Fontana was great in the role of Mr. Slate. I enjoyed his acting, but the sex was just not for me.

Ms. Stone: Misty Stone played Ms. Stone, ironically enough. She was a good choice for the role, and both the BF and I found her very appealing appearance-wise. I wanted to like the sex, but it was hard considering who her partner was.

Tyler: Dale DaBone was cast as Tyler, the mystery man who Fred suspects of sleeping with his wife. I very much liked his acting (and his tats), and the sex scene wasn't bad either. Maybe if I had muted Wilma's moaning, I'd appreciate his performance a bit more.

DVD Features

The Flintstones a XXX parody came in a standard DVD case inside a cardboard display. The actual DVD itself is fairly inconspicuous, besides the 'XXX' of course. The back of the DVD does feature some suggestive content, but nothing explicit. The cardboard display has the same cover and back as the DVD itself, but with an additional flap that opens to reveal some very adult rated pictures. I'd suggest disposing of the additional box and keep just the DVD case itself. This is another 2-disc collector's set from New Sensations, and as usual the first disc is the feature film, while the second is for special features and bonuses.

Party Version - The party version is mainly plot, with all of the porn scenes cut out.
Behind the Scenes
Bonus Scene
Outtakes - Bloopers and mishaps during filming.
Photo Gallery - Promotional pictures for the movie.
Cumshot Recap - A recap of all of the cum shots in the film.
Trailers - Trailers of other parodies from New Sensations.

Experience

I expected myself to like this movie more, but it was just so-so. The plot is enjoyable, the dialogue is funny, but the sex just wasn't what I was looking for. I would probably only re-watch two of the five sex scenes. The BF doesn't want to see it ever again. A great movie, just not great for us.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

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  • Contributor: namelesschaos
    Great Review.
  • Contributor: Splendwhore
    Thank you.
  • Contributor: Enchantedkitty
    great job!
  • Contributor: Splendwhore
    Thanks!
  • Contributor: mmmmm
    Thanks for the review
  • Contributor: PassionCpl
    Fantastic and detailed review, I feel like I've just watched the movie!
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