I’m very impressed with the ink work that was present during the Paleolithic era, however. I wouldn’t think that it would be this nice until at least the Neolithic era. Now on to the review...

The Flintstones: A XXX Parody is not what would come to one’s mind when thinking of a good porno.
This review will include spoilers for the movie.

The movie starts with Fred (Peter O'Tool) dozing off at work and beginning to daydream about a sexual encounter between Betty (Brooke Lee Adams) and Wilma (Hilary Scott). It's a lesbian scene which involved very half-hearted kissing, analingus on Betty, cunninglingus and fingering which instead of being arousing just makes one mad. This scene seems to last forever and thanfully ends with Betty fingering and eating Wilma out with a very badly faked climax on Wilma's part. We then cut back to Fred getting home and running into Wilma and a “old highschool” friend (Dale Dabone) who happens to be a supposedly attractive man and after a little chat Barney comes in to tell Fred that Dino had just laid a massive load in his yard (complete with bones).

While cleaning up, Barney (Anthony Rosano) decides to tell Fred, who had just confided in him that he doesn’t think he’s sexy enough for Wilma, not to worry as at her age Wilma will be so horny that he would have no problem getting any as she is at her sexual peak. He then goes on to reminisce about his and Betty’s latest romp. The scene starts with Betty going up to Barney in a sexy cheetah print outfit with crop in hand (I wasn’t happy when I found out that no one was getting spanked) and begins talking dirty to him leading him to cum in his pants to which she replies. “That just means you’ll last longer.” The scene involves fellatio, cunnilingus, vaginal sex and slight rimming with Betty as the recipient. This scene actually was very decent, and you could tell that the actors had a very good time filming it. It also has the best line in the film “Oops, there goes another Bam-Bam” when Barney finally cums onto Betty’s labia (This also is the only scene that doesn’t include a facial ending).

The scene ends with Fred passed out with a boner very visible under his outfit.

The next scene involves Pebbles (Hayden Winter) and Bam-Bam (Seth Gamble) getting ready for a movie date which ends with the two sneaking into Pebbles room later that evening while their parents were watching 30 Rock. The scene was about the same quality as the Betty and Barney scene. It involved fellatio, vaginal sex, fingering, and cunnilingus. These two also seemed to be enjoying themselves as well until Bam-Bam finally cums on her face. Fred soon walks in the room after they had cleaned up to talk to Pebbles about her growing up while Bam-Bam sneaks under the covers to hide from him. Fred tricks Bam-Bam into letting him know his there to which he responds by leaping out the window butt naked and evidently being sic-ed by Dino.

The next few scenes were very boring. They were essentially Fred goes to work and talks to Mr. Slate (Rod Fantano) about his problems at home, he tells Flintstone to not be a pussy, has sex with his attractive secretary (Misty Stone) (a gratuitous interracial scene with a very unattractive man in the mix and essentially fellatio and vaginal sex with the always popular facial ending).

After that, Wilma and Betty talk about Wilma’s secret plans that involve the “high school” friend from earlier, Barney and Fred go out to lunch, Fred is convinced that Wilma is cheating on him, and when he returns to work he fantasizes about him and Wilma, only to end up being replaced in the fantasy by Tyler who has fellatio performed on him by Wilma which is followed by the seeming basic sex plot of the movie (i.e. vaginal>some oral>more vaginal>facial). After which, Fred returns to his senses and realizes a bird just crapped on his face.

He returns home disheartened only for it to be revealed that Wilma had been working on a surprise birthday gift for him the whole time. It is revealed that Tyler is Mr. Slate’s gay personal chef who was hired at his own expense to cook a birthday meal for Fred. All is reconciled at the end, and everyone laughs as akin to the cartoon.

Personal Comments:

Seriously just as a warning: if you have any strong objections to facials, don’t watch this movie. It has a lot of them.

As for me, I did not find the movie very arousing and wanted to fast forward through the porn to watch the storyline alone which in itself was a very clever one. I thought it was funny and well done, but the actors could have acted a little better at the sex and also could have done some different positions as it seemed to me the majority of it was just repetitive, and they were just going through the motions in the majority of them. So in conclusion, I would recommend this only if you want a good laugh or to destroy your childhood memories and not for a masturbatory aid.