Keeping Long Island Smilin'

The Official Wife Swap Parody isn't a complete flop--it's got a few funny moments, and a generally good cast that gives something for just about everyone. Based very loosely on the show Wife Swap, six stereotypical couples switch wives (or husbands, in one case) and then *really* enjoy the company of their new spouse.
Published:
Pros
Something for most people, humorous, decent acting.
Cons
Very vanilla sex scenes, no kink, rather dull.
Rating by reviewer:
3
extremely useful review

Content / Genre / Audience



The Official Wife Swap Parody is a pseudo-parody with some silly humor and lots of PIV sex. It's very vanilla, with very little (if any) fetish or kink in it.

This is probably geared more towards couples, but it worked fine for my (a single woman) purposes. It's lighthearted, brainless, and almost dull.

The back of the DVD says it belongs in the parody section, but I found it was weak as a parody.
    • Hetero
    • Mild

Actors

There's three total Swaps between six couples. All involved are pretty good at their acting parts, until it gets down to the sex, in which they kind of lose their fire. Each scene is virtually the same; they all start with a little oral, then move on to a PIV sex, then end in a facial.

In the first Swap, Jack Hughes (played by Mark Wood), a sort of clueless, straight up white guy, and Diane Hughes (Bobbi Starr), an pseudo-intelligent woman who is obsessed with African culture, swap with James Jones (Prince Yahshua), a black up-and-coming lawyer, and Latasha Jones (Nyomi Banxxx), an outspoken, almost downright bitchy black woman. Nyomi and Jack are complete opposites that do not mesh, while Diane and James seem rather compatible, despite a few mistakes based on stereotypes on Diane's behalf. The first sex scene is between Nyomi Banxxx and Mark Wood, and the second, naturally, is between Prince Yahshua and Bobbi Starr. This first swap is my favorite.

In the second Swap, Rob Spallone (himself; he does not perform), Marie Spallone (Sara Sloane), and Joey Spallone (James Deen), the son, are a stereotypical Long Island/mob/Italian family. They're loud, and they're proud. Fun fact: Sara Sloane actually has an accent, though it was probably dramatized during this film. Richard Frampton (Anthony Rosano) and Barbara Frampton (Julia Ann) play a stereotypical suburban white couple. Barbara and Rob clash at once, with Rob being rude and very chauvinistic, and Barbara submissive and meek. Joey is instantly attracted to Barbara, calling her hot. Richard and Marie also clash a little, with Marie being loud, outspoken, uncouth, and dominant, and Richard quiet, humble, and cultured. The two sex scenes are between Anthony Rosano and Sara Sloane, and then Julia Ann and James Deen. Sara Sloane was an absolute joy in this scene; she really shined in both the acting and the sex part.

In the third Swap, which is actually a swapping of the husbands rather than the wives, Steve Whitaker (an adorable Dane Cross) and Edie Whitacker (Zero Tolerance contract star Kagney Linn Karter) play a young, rural Simpleton couple from Nebraska. They're really adorable, actually; Steve apparently owns a comic book store and he really fits the bill for a nerdy guy. Enrique Banderas (Marco Banderas) and Gloria Banderas (Rebeca Linares) are a passionate, fiery Latin couple who, after just about everything, "make love for hours." I have to admit that I laughed out loud during the entire intro scenes for the last swap. Gloria and Steve, like usual, clash due to Gloria's spicy Latina-ness, and Edie and Enrique hit it right off. There is a brief oral scene between Marco and Kagney, and then Rebeca and Dane are the first couple to have sex, followed by Kagney and Marco. Overall, the two scenes are good in acting and sex, but Kagney's babytalk really is distracting.
    • Good acting / chemistry

DVD Features

The DVD menu includes the film, scene selection, behind the scenes, all the popshots, a gallery, and some trailers to Zero Tolerance's upcoming features. The movie runs two and a half hours long.

The behind the scenes featurette includes an interview with Nyomi Banxxx, a brief moment with Rebeca Linares and Marco Banderas, a fairly long chat with Kagney Linn Karter while she's trying to memorize her script, and a short bit with Marco Banderas and Kagney Linn Karter.

As far as the packaging goes, the front is very typical with Sara Sloane and Kagney Linn Karter on the front in shorts and tank tops. The back is photos from scenes from the movie arranged in a collage of sorts.
    • Not very discreet packaging
    • Scene selection
    • Special features / bonus included

Personal comments

Really, despite my 'meh' feelings towards it, there's something for all mild kinks here.

Have jungle fever? Watch the first swap.
Like Latin lovahs? Watch the third swap.
Like dominant females? Watch the scene with Rebeca Linares and Dane Cross.
Like MILFs? Watch the scene with Mark Wood and Nyomi Banxxx (At least, she reminds me of a MILF, more than the others) or with Julia Ann and James Deen.

Objectively, this is probably a 3 star movie.
Subjectively, it's a 3 as well.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

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  • Contributor: Kimbertrees
    Great review!
  • Contributor: Selective Sensualist
    Great job on the review!
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