I don't feel like I had supremely high expectations about this book before I read it but I thought that I might have gained more from this read. I definitely feel like this book is geared more towards begginers. People who might not have much experience in the ways of variety when it comes to sexual activity or, if you will, people from a “vanilla” or traditional sexual relationship looking to expand their repitoire in the sack. It presents a lot of different material in short spurts. These topics range from how to kiss to anal sex. Whoa. My personal opinion is that if you need schooling on how to kiss I don't think anal sex is something you need to immediately consider.
The book is divided into three main categories and several sub-categories within those. I'll share a summarized version of the index.
1. Desire
-The nature of desire
-Use desire to fuel sex life
-Sexual Knowledge
2. Arousal
-Nature of arousal
-Touch
-Sexual Tension
-Oral delights
-Sex toys
-Erotic curiosities
-Sexual adventure
-Sex positions
-Anal sex
3. Orgasm
-How to intensify
-Multiple orgasm
-Ancient wisdom
Within these chapters things such as fellatio and mutual masturbation, along with power play and bdsm kinks are touched upon. I say “touched upon” because I don't feel like any one subject has been explained thoroughly or is mastered. I'm not entirely sure how much you could say about giving a blow job or wax play, but I do feel like they wanted to cover as many topics as possible. This leaves me feeling like they were limited to the confines of the size of the book. If you're looking for more focused and detailed information about one subject, this isn't the book for you. If you have ever masturbated before, this probably isn't the book for either. Really if you've ever done anything slightly “non-vanilla” before, keep on walking. For some perspective, on a 10 scale of virgin (0) to sexpert (10) I would place myself somewhere around 6 or 7. I don't live within a vanilla relationship entirely. I've experienced anal sex, oral sex, some learning into bdsm, pain play, restraint play, roleplay, etc. I think you get the kinky picture. I don't know everything and I've not experienced everything, but I'm no stranger to the world of kinky, taboo, or “un-normal” (scoff) sexual interaction.
Something that stuck out to me while reading this book was the section about bdsm kinks and the power game. It said more than I would have expected; Such as stressing a safe word or gesture, and proper communication. I think if one was to seriously consider entering this realm of sex and are looking for information via books, they need one that only covers bdsm type play. Even though I don't have a vast amount of bdsm type experiences, I do feel like I know at least a moderate amount about it. This, added with my own common sense tells me that it isn't something to be taken lightly or picked up on a whim. I feel like this book kind of encourages that because it only offers a quick introduction. While I can appreciate anyone encouraging a healthy and safe sex life, I think that being informed is equally as important. My opinion about the amount of bdsm info offered in this book is this; If you are looking into this aspect of sex, (or even just the situational detail of bdsm, as it can be used in a non sexual way) you're better off with another book that can offer more detail.
The tone of this book is hard to place. While it uses a ton of information gathered from countless medical and sex studies that have been done, it feels slightly clinical at times; But it also feels like the author is also trying to be casual by using short and simple sentences. Maybe the mixed tone is why the book didn't sit very well for me.
This books offers up information in several different ways. There is the normal content that is set up in sections and chapters. There is little bits of factual and study related information on the sidebars of many pages and there are also several “Sexual Q&A” sections related to the topic being discussed in that chapter.
The book also offers “homework” for you and your partner to partake in. Sometimes they suggest doing something alone. Sometimes it's something you should do together with your partner. Some of these activities include taking photos of each other, different ways to touch each other, practicing kissing, viewing each others bodies in a non arousing or sexual manner and list making. Honestly I didn't care for these activities and I didn't do most of them because I found them kinda cheesy. If you are a beginner in the realm of sex I think these bits of guided home practice could offer some help.
There are several negative things about this book that I feel inclined to point out. The first one is a sensitive issue for many people. The photos used in this book are only of the male with a female variety; Heterosexual couples only. Even though I'm one half of a hetero partnership, I don't think it's fair to offer a book that talks about numerous sex related activities and forget to acknowledge, even through photos, same sex relationships. The book does hint at same sex partners at least once, but it doesn't come right out and acknowledge the topic. The subjects in all the photos look much like porn stars and it all appears very over staged. The photos try to be romantic, soft and caring but most likely these people aren't in real relationships and it shows.
The editing of this book make me nuts to no end. The first thing I noticed, which might not be a big deal to some, was one of the reviews on the back cover.
“By page two, I was hooked! Great information written in plain language. This is the only book you will ever need to read about love and sex.” -Sue Johnson
Well page two is a blank page. Page three is the title page. The index isn't even until page 6 and 7 and the content doesn't start until page 14. What's so grand about a blank page? Even before I read the book I felt this discredited the info inside because of a careless mistake.
A few other editing goofs include; the last paragraph of the intro just ends mid sentence. There is also an instruction from the book to find a table of information located on another page of the book (please refer to page such and such), but is nowhere to be found. These issues don't make the book unreadable just a needless annoyance that could have been fixed.
On the other hand, if you don't know much about sex and sex related issues, this might be a good book for you. I suggested in the review that it might be best suited for beginners, so if you feel like you don't know very much about sexual encounters at all, it might be good for you.