Offical Wife Swap Parody by Zero Tolerance - review by Not here

If you've ever seen the tv show Wife Swap, then you've probably wondered why it took so long for a porn parody to be made about it. I mean, the premise is perfect- two sets of couples with nothing in common trade spouses, tension and drama ensues- just add sex and voila! Instant porn parody. So, as a girl who enjoys watching Wife Swap in a guilty pleasure sort of way, I knew it was my duty to watch The Official Wife Swap Parody by Zero Tolerance.

The Official Wife Swap Parody documents 3 sets of couples that swap partners for a reality show. Not unlike the actual television show, the couples are pretty much stereotypical polar opposites. But, very much unlike the ABC version, these couples manage to find common ground through sex. The swaps are formulaic, with a brief introduction to each couple, which is generally pretty funny. Much of the humor is based on stereotypes, so if you are easily offended, you may want to look elsewhere for a porn parody. Once the spouses swap, the couples try to get to know their temporary spouse but find that they have little in common for the most part. In each case, something leads to them deciding the best option for them is to just shut up and fuck.

One aspect of the television show that wasn't present in the parody was the final meeting between the couples where their swapping experiences are discussed together. Had this been included, I'm certain it would have added to the entertainment value- just imagine the conversations they would have, or the group sex scenarios that could have arose! I was a bit disappointed that this aspect of the show was not included, but it didn't detract from the overall appeal of the movie.

However, as a self-proclaimed kinkster, I personally found the sex to be a bit vanilla and boring for my tastes. Most of the sex scenes are pretty similar, with the focus on oral and vaginal intercourse. There are a few moments where a teeny bit of kink creeps in, but it's so brief that it would almost be better if it wasn't included.

Overall, The Official Wife Swap Parody is a funny, creative porn parody that will appeal to many people, and is especially hetero-couple friendly. The acting, although certainly not wonderful, is better than most porn acting and may actually induce the giggles. For the most part, the actors and actresses are attractive, and appeal to a wide range of tastes. While it's not the perfect porno in my book, The Official Wife Swap Parody has a lot to offer for anyone looking for vanilla hetero sex with a little bit of comedy.

Swap 1:

Latasha and James Jones, played by Nyomi Banxxx and Prince Yahshua, are a young black couple. James is studying to be a lawyer, but because he's unemployed, Latasha is constantly yelling at him for being lazy. Clearly they could use a swap! They swap partners with Jack and Diane Hughes, played by Mark Wood and Bobbi Starr. Diane is strangely obsessed with African-American culture, and Jack is an aspiring rapper by the name of Frozen Yogurt, or Fro-Yo for short. Right off the bat, it's obvious that these two couples will be entertaining to watch.

Fro Yo automatically starts things off on the wrong foot by telling Latasha she's a "fine ass bitch," and she slaps him in the face practically upon entering her home. He tries to win her over by rapping for her, but she is less than impressed. He manages to get her attention when he asks her if her husband eats pussy, and before long they are going at it! This scene includes oral sex for both partners, various vaginal sex positions, and ends with a cumshot. Nyomi Banxxx is extremely vocal in this scene, moaning "Oh shit" repeatedly, which may be a turn off for some. I personally find Mark Wood to be unattractive, so this scene did very little for me.

Diane is clearly very excited to have James in her home, and tries to make him at home by offering him malt liquor and Kool-Aid. James is offended by her ridiculous stereotypes, and let's her know that she's upset him. She tries to make it up by showing up in a very risque outfit and practically pounces on top of him. She then tells him that she can't help herself around him and that she needs to be dominated by a big black gangster. Although James doesn't exactly fit her description, he doesn't turn her down when she shouts, "I'll suck your dick!" She gives him a blowjob for quite a while, then they have vaginal sex where he maneuvers her around a lot. Again, this scene ends with a cumshot. For a brief moment Prince Yahshua sucks on Bobbi Starr's toes, but quickly stops. I was pretty surprised to see this in mainstream porn, but then the kink managed to creep out as quickly as it had crept in. Bobbi Starr has a rather prominent bush, so those turned off by pubic hair may not like this scene.


Swap 2:

Rob Spallone plays himself as the husband of Marie, played by Sara Sloane. Rob's son, Joey, (played by James Deen) lives with them in their trashy Long Island home, and causes even more shouting in the household. Joey fills in for his father during the swap week while he's away, allowing for a much sexier swap. Barbara and Richard Frampton, played by Julia Ann and Anthony Rosano, are a well-to-do couple from the Hamptons. Richard is an uptight businessman, and Barbara appears to be nothing more than a trophy wife.

When Marie arrives at the Frampton's home, she is obviously pleased and tells Richard she wouldn't mind being his wife. She proudly brags to him that she has a fabulous reputation for giving great head, and offers to show him how she "keeps Long Island smilin," but he turns her down. After Richard brings Marie to a business meeting and she causes a scene, he drinks a bit too much and finally gives in to Marie's offer. She shows off her deep throating skills, and they have some rather boring vaginal sex. Sara Sloane is a bit loud and obnoxious during the sex scene, which can be blamed on staying in character a bit too well. Anthony Rosano wasn't particularly memorable and didn't do much for me.

Ditzy Barbara Frampton is treated poorly by the Spallone men, and matters are only made worse when she finds out about Richard and Marie's drunken tryst. Joey tries to console her, and although she turns him down at first because of the age difference, he assures her that she's a total hottie and they decide to get back at Richard by having sex. They make out a bit, then Joey eats her out and they go straight to vaginal sex. Yet again, it ends with a cumshot. This scene is geared towards those with an older woman/younger man fantasy, and these two actors have great chemistry. Julia Ann is very attractive for an older porn actress, and plays the "MILF" role very well.


Swap 3:

Edie and Steve Whitaker, played by Kagney Linn Karter and Dane Cross, are seemingly prude country bumpkins from Nebraska. Their new 'spouses,' Enrique and Gloria Banderas, (played by Marco Banderas and Rebeca Linares) are fiery latinos who like to have hours of passionate sex after any activity.

Steve is a total geek and can't seem to do anything right in Gloria's eyes. She keeps spitting on him, and finally demands that he fuck her good in order to make up for his inability to do anything else right. He shows her that he can at least manage to fuck properly, and they perform oral on each other, move on to vaginal sex, then of course the cumshot. Rebeca Linares plays the feisty, dominant Latina well, but as their sex scene progresses, she becomes less and less demanding. It was certainly a nice change of pace, and Rebeca was very sexy, but this scene wasn't true female domination.

The only two to actually get along in the whole movie are Edie and Enrique. Enrique shows what a gentleman he is by bringing Edie flowers and cooking for her. He requests a blowjob in the kitchen, and Edie reluctantly obliges him. True to his gentlemanly nature, Enrique teaches Edie how to salsa dance, and then asks if she will make love to him. Edie doesn't want to offend him after his kind gestures, so she agrees yet again. After performing oral on each other, they have vaginal sex in a bunch of positions, and the scene ends with the famous cumshot. In an effort to make her innocent character believable, Kagney Linn Karter talks in a baby voice in this scene, which I found to be extremely annoying and off-putting. Had it not been for this, I would have enjoyed this scene a lot more.

The DVD menu for this movie is very basic, with a scene from the movie as the background, and the option to Play the movie or watch the Bonus Features.

The Bonus Features included on the disc weren't all that exciting, to be honest. There is a behind the scenes feature, which pretty much just showed the stars on set and a few scenes of them being directed. Also included is a photo gallery of stills from the movie, along with a compilation of the cumshots.

While my boyfriend and I weren't particularly excited about the sex in this movie, we wouldn't consider ourselves "the norm." We both like a lot more kink in our porn, and hetero only sex just doesn't do it for me like girl on girl does. Because our tastes are so specific, I'm not going to rate this movie badly based on my/our personal porn preferences. Many people will really enjoy the sex in this film, despite the lack of variety, and my rating of a 3 out of 5 is a reflection of that.