Forced & Awkward Lingerie Show

I was excited by the concept of this film, but was let down. It didn't have enough of different things to keep my interest and I wasn't a huge fan of most of the cast and or pairings. I would love to see this redone with a more polished look.
Published:
Pros
Some of the lingerie, SEXY heels!, Julia Ann, Chris and Gracie together
Cons
Camera work, Sounds from the crew/director, Some casting, Same bad stuff over again, Too long
Rating by reviewer:
2
extremely useful review

Content / Genre / Audience

I was excited for this DVD since I thought the idea of featuring gorgeous lingerie on hot bodies was appealing. It was a great idea, just not executed as well as it could have been or very consistently.

Intimate Things is an adult porn film from Zero Tolerance that centers around lots and lots of lingerie. The director is Mike Quasar. The cast ranges from young to more seasoned and the body types also very quite a bit too. I can't say I was a fan of all of them. I can say that the sets were gorgeous and the house they chose to film in is a real gem. It has mostly heterosexual scenes, but it does contain one girl on girl scene that ends in a threesome. The scenes are long, but often get boring. There are scenes in this that I would keep, but as a whole, I didn't like this film and don't plan to watch it again or keep it.
    • Fetish
    • Hetero
    • Threesome scenes

Actors

*Scores are subjective, based on their sexual performance + acting + appearance (out of 5)*

FEMALE CAST
1. Kagney Linn Karter: **
Scene #2
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2. Gracie Glam: ****
Scene #1
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3. Mariah Milano: **
Scene: #3
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4. Monique Alexander: ***
Scene: #2
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5. Julia Ann: *****
Scene: #4
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6. Shylia Stylexz: *****
Scene: #5
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MALE CAST
1. Anthony Rosano: **
Scene #5
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2. Chris Johnson: ****
Scene #1
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3. Michael Vegas: ***
Scene: #3
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4. Mark Wood: ***
Scene: #4
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5. Marco Banderas: *
Scene: #2
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Overall, the cast for this film falls short. Julia Ann is the highlight by far, and Chris Johnson and Gracia Glam were a great pairing. Mark Wood isn't for me, but he didn't do a bad job either. i like him with Julia Ann. However, the rest, didn't impress me and some downright turned me off. Some of the stars, both male and female seemed overly fake to the point that they came off as cheesy and laughable - not a turn on. While the female were featured in gorgeous lingerie (most of the time, when it fit properly), the men were wearing shirts that were too big, washed out jeans, or goofy hair cuts. I would have liked to see them in suits, or something a bit nicer than what they were wearing.
    • Bad chemistry
    • Male & female cast
    • Unimpressive cast

DVD Features

The film quality is high in terms of visuals, but not for much else. I say this because there are blaring points in the film where you can hear the director! Multiple times! The camera work was less than great at times, and made it seem like someone was spying - though, this wasn't supposed to be the intention. The camera swayed and was very distracting during the first scene. Speaking of distracting, the music was horrid. It's cheesy and annoying. Again, I did like the sets, though.

The film is long. It runs about 2 1/2 hours! Sometimes this is a good thing. In this case, it wasn't. This film had scenes that would have been more effective if they were cut short.

- Website Information
- Behind the Scenes: This shows some interviews, candid moments, and the cast doing some photo shoots. I was dissapointed that this photo shoot was not included in the gallery.
- Chapter Selections
- Trailers
- Gallery: I actually like the gallery shots more than the movie. The shots are just stills from the film, but you don't have to listen to the horrible sounds from the female cast.
- Pop Shots: Recap of the cum shots, about 7 minutes long
- Auto start: If you leave it on the menu long enough it will start playing on its own

The DVD comes in a regular DVD case with a cardboard sleeve. There is only one disc. The side and front is not graphically sexual, but the back is.
    • Not very discreet packaging
    • Scene selection
    • Special features / bonus included

Experience

*Scores are from my point of view alone (out of 5). For this film, my partner was unavailable.*

I opening clip shows different snip-its from the upcoming scenes and introduces the female porn star's names. It seemed too long, repetitive, and eventually boring.

#1 *** (~27 min) Chris & Gracie: A gorgeous gal with a seemingly natural body and curves stands in front of a window, naked. She swirls her body to the music, but her movements end up looking robotic and somewhat awkward. This is where I first noticed the annoying background music and realized that there is no sound from the actors or their movements. A cute guy stands watching her every move. He holds a piece of lingerie that he hands to her. She changes into a few different pieces, some poorly chosen. The shoes however, turned me on the most!

It takes a full 7 minutes before a sexual act, oral performed on him. This is where the sounds kick in, but I wish they didn't because I was turned off by the stuff that comes out of her mouth. What did impress me was her skill at face fucking, which I usually detest. Where most women finish that with a face full of MAC mascara, she really did have him fuck her pretty face while still looking...like she wasn't eating a bar of soap. As for the guy, he has some really gnarly scars (intriguing!) and great technique for more difficult sex positions (standing!). They eventually move to another set, where I really got into the scene. Before this, their chemistry seemed off. Or maybe I was distracted by hearing the director twice at about 13:50 and 17:35 or the poor camera work. They go through a multitude of different positions before he finishes on her lingerie. I don't believe she has an orgasm. (Watch the BTS for more, hotter action from them!)

Pros: Set, Chemistry, her face fucking skills, Cast
Cons: The director's voice, her noises and dialog

#2 ** (~27 min) Kagney & Monique:

The two girls do a cheesy lingerie show for each other. If you like fuller, more implanted bodies, this scene might be for you. The lingerie slides over them effortlessly. They do silly wiggles and pats on their butts, which I did not find arousing in any way. i do really like Monique's ink and perky new nipples, though!

They awkwardly come together to make out. To me it looked really weird, like it was their first time, forced - a dare. They even miss giving kisses. It was obvious that the chemistry wasn't there. They walk off scene to a cheesy overly tanned guy lays. I really wanted to turn it off right there. His sexual faces and expressions were cartoonish and laughable. One girl gives oral, not so well I might add as they make ohh and ahh sounds that made me want to puke. I you like big anaconda cocks, then this guy is for you! It's huge! One of the girls gets on while the other just buys time. The sex looked a little painful since he could only go so far in.

The talk of the females, one in particular is really off putting. It sounds like valley girl talk. It didn't seem to bother the guy since he finishes on the other girls ass VERY quickly. So quickly in fact that Monique says "You didn't last very long did you?" I nearly died laughing! Amazingly he keeps going! The other girls wants some action so he ends up cumming again! i was very impressed by that, but was very glad the scene was over finally.

Pros: Multiple male orgasms, tats, nipple play
Cons: Noises, cast, chemistry

#3 ** (~28 min) Mariah & Michael:

Similar to the first scene, Mariah sits on a staircase and puts on a lingerie show for Michael who is standing off to the side handing her more outfits. I was really turned off by her stripper like appearance. It's hard to explain what the difference is between a porn star look and a s tripper look, but you'll know it when you see it. This scene is far less effective than the first, and is more choppy. They too lead each other off to another room where she starts by giving him oral, sloppy oral. At least there is a new addition - titty fucking. He gives her oral as he plays with himself and then she hops on. they go through a series of positions before he cums on her stomach.

Pros: Michael's bubble ass
Cons: Everything else

#4 **** (~25 min) Julia & Mark :

Gorgeous Julia sits at a piano and shows of her amazingness in sexy lingerie. She does a bit of playing with it and herself before Mark walks in. It really killed the mood to see her looking amazing and then the guy walk in with washed out jeans and a tee. It just didn't fit. They head to a bedroom where he gives her oral. He is good at it too! Not going to lie, I spent a large amount of this scene trying to read the bottom of her to die for heels! They get into some interesting sideways positions and she even puts her fingers in her ass. He ends up coming on her lingerie and tummy. This scene is the best of all of them.

Pros: Julia, Lingerie
Cons: Nothing in particular

#5 * (~28 min) Anthony & Shylia: I was pretty turned off by the appearances of both cast members (bruises, blemishes, sloppy appearances, over done) from the start. This was somewhat disappointing since I have seen better from them. The lingerie didn't even fit the female in this one! She reminded me of Daisy from Rock of Love. The guy gets oral and then they move to the couch where there is titty fucking. She gets on top before they do a sideways position and have dirty sex. The only good thing about this scene is the addition of stockings.

Pros: Stockings
Cons: Poor presentation from the cast

So overall, this film was a lot of the same bad things and not enough of the good things. It seemed rushed with the bad edited, camera, music choices, and voices from the crew. It's a great idea, but it was poorly executed.
Follow-up commentary
I ended up getting rid of this DVD because there wasn't enough in it worth keeping. Plus I found the entire thing online for free.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

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Comments
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  • Contributor: Shadowfall
    Great review... I need to remember this one if I do another DVD review.

    Some very odd sounding casting choices, though...especially with spray-on-tan man.
  • Contributor: leatherlover
    Thanks for the great review. I really love lingerie, but this sounds too annoying otherwise. I'll pass.
  • Contributor: ~LaUr3n~
    Spray on tan man lol.
  • Contributor: Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
    Ugh, I think I know what you mean about the "oohs" and "ahhs". I hate those over-the-top noises that some of these girls make when the guy is hardly even touching them. It sounds so fake.

    Marco Banderas is Latino and has naturally caramel-colored skin. I don't understand why he would feel the need to turn himself into an Oompa Loompa. I've seen him pop twice in a scene in another movie as well.
  • Contributor: Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
    Just wanted to add that Marco Banderas actually holds some sort of record for firing off 10 cumshots in 3-1/2 hours. Damn! Here's a link to the article in case you're curious: Marco Banderas Breaks World Cum Record
  • Contributor: ~LaUr3n~
    WOW! That's awesome!
  • Contributor: Penguin
    Idk what's worse, #6 or the guys as a whole. Glad i didn't watch this one.
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