Hanne Blank book “Big, Big Love” discusses and examines a number of issues relevant to the fat community and its admirers. Set in a casual tone, this book covers more than just the social and mental issues dealing with the fat community, but it also does what few sex and health books, actually give specific advice and positions. The only drawback and it is sadly a big one, there doesn’t seem to be much of a bibliography, which detracts from its sociological arguments.
What this book does is describe the shit we fat people put up with from those who don’t understand and explains ways of living with the treatment for those who understand it all too well. It starts by addressing some of the myths associated with fat people, everything from “no one is attracted to fat people” to “fat women love to give oral sex because they’re orally fixated.” With ten different myths addressed, odds are most readers will have believed at least one of them and that’s the point it’s getting at, how hard it is to be fat.
Rather than just complain about the treatment of fat people however, it takes a more productive tone, offering advice on dealing with these and other prejudices society harbors for those of size. Everything from figuring out bodies types and shopping for them to understanding how to like your naked body and the benefits and perils of being considered a sex object are covered. There’s even a section to describe the different factions within the fat community, which is useful for everyone but the most studious scholars of fat culture as many factions are quite obscure.
While the ideas might not work for everyone, it does present possible solutions to contemporary issues felt by fat people and different view to consider. Those trying to understand what it’s like to be fat, either for a partner a friend or their own curiosity will find these sections of the book useful as well, although reading about the fat experience will teach the same as living it. It's just not recommended as a gift, since that's broaching a delicate subject rather tactlessly, point out the book, maybe discuss, but only give it as a gift if that person would want it.
One area where the book excels is in its “Getting physical” section. There are numerous issues with having sex if one or both partners are fat, from getting into position, penetration, modifying positions and even masturbation. All issues are addressed with practical, but broad solutions which should be able to help most readers.
Issues with penetration, one of the most difficult for fat people, especially fat couples, is handled in a number of ways. First it describes better ways to get positioned beforehand, such as finding sturdy surfaces, not being embarrassed about having to move a roll or two and experimenting to discover what works. Then the book describes the multiple methods of penetration and how it relates to fat bodies.
There's even a section on BDSM and how that relates to the fat community. As fat people are usually submissive in real life, there are a lot of issues regarding whether or not this should continue in BDSM, not to mention weight limitations or utilizing weight in the play. These issues may not appear in some BDSM books or forums, so this section is especially valuable for the sheer rarity of the information.
Nor does the book shy away from mentioning quality sex aides. Solutions for the problems include utilizing liberation wedges, Fleshlights for masturbation, choosing the right sized dildo and finding a good harness. All couples are included, from straight to gay and pan couples, in both the advice and illustrations. Useful, fat positive links are provided at the end of the book so any type of reader with any fat related problem will have a good chance of finding a solution to their problem.
One of the best parts about the tone of the book is how it isn’t judgmental; it describes issues and offers solutions without judging those with the problem. Even the more controversial aspects of the fat community, such as “fat as Fetish” and Feederism/feedism are handled with accuracy and understanding. It’s nice to see that this book doesn’t vilify the more extreme/esoteric aspects of the community the way general society vilifies the fat community.
The only problem is that some of the more smaller and more esoteric fat factions aren't included. Some people enjoy being humiliated for their weight, some women are gainers, some men and women love man boobs. Including some of the more uncommon aspects of fat culture may help others understand it or discover they're not alone.