Ever wonder "What if..."?

The Rock Hard pump kit will answer that long pondered man question: "How big will it get?"

This pump will answer that question in spades!

Basically, you put a little lube on yourself and a little bit on the the TPR seal. Insert your penis (flaccid) in the pump and pump it a couple times...BOOM! Insta-Cock. Now, if you have a cock ring on hand (or in kit), you can enjoy this fully engorged purple love soldier. Just make sure to limit the actual use to a few minutes. Thrombosed penises aren't happy penises.

You really don't need to use this pump more than a couple pumps; it works almost instantly.

This pump is mostly regular smokey or black plastic and gray TPR. The pump is see-through, which is where you see your...um..."swelling of pride".

The silicone plug is smooth and a bit on the small side.

The "ball spreader" is a rubber(?) ring with a leather strap attached. It's not a new coat leather, more of a new pair of shoes leather; it has a smell to match as well. The cock ring on the ball spreader is on a hoop of leather that unsnaps from the main strap.

I really like the design of this pump. The seal slips off the bottom, the air-release, the connection at the top of the cylinder, I love it all.

The size is perfect for me too. Fully pumped up, I pretty much hit the top of the cylinder and I'm a pretty average sized guy.

I have yet to find a good way to explain away a penis pump. The most plausible explanation I can give is "Rattlesnake venom sucker"...but I live in Michigan. It's also a good thing that most people who would see this know what I do anyway.

For traveling with a penis pump, please see "Austin Powers: The International Man of Mystery".

To use a penis pump: Insert an attached flesh penis into the tube (lube it up a little for a good seal) and pump the ball a few times and voila, you got a huge penis. Once you get to a certain point though, the air is out and you can't pump it any more. Don't keep your penis (or partner's penis) in there too long; there are health considerations.

It's really not quiet, but it's not horribly loud either. If you can explain away the sound of a bicycle pump going on behind closed doors, go at it.

Note on water: Don't let water get into the hose and bulb. It might not get out and could promote mold. If mold gets in the tubing, you could have moldy air around your penis (or your partner's penis).

Thankfully, the minimal number of parts makes this easy to clean.

Step 1: Remove penis
Step 2: Twitch a bit
Step 3: Remove the hose from the top of the cylinder, leave on bed
Step 4: Take the cylinder to the bathroom, remove the rubbery seal, wash with antibacterial soap
Step 5: Let air dry or towel dry

I wouldn't put this in the dishwasher. You could, but you'd risk melting the plastic. You could wash everything (except the ring/spreader) in the dishwasher and let them dry in the dish rack.

You could wash the very thin plug in the dishwasher (no soap, top rack), but you'd have to explain to whoever lives with you what you're washing.

Save or toss this box at your own risk. It is a penis pump kit in a very descriptive box. Use your best judgment.

Everything is wrapped inside plastic bags, each piece to its own.

Pumps have been sold for years as a way to increase the size of the penis, but have been shown not to have long lasting penis lengthening benefits. But that doesn't mean that you can't have some short term fun with it! "Short term" is the key phrase here. It can be dangerous to use for prolonged periods of time, due to fact you can rupture blood vessels with it and that could cause health problems. Make sure you read the instructions and indications on the box and do a little research of your own online.