I had just barely turned twenty one when I ordered my very first sex toy. It was the Doc Johnson One Armed Bandit Pump and when I got it, I had no idea what to do with it, at first. Relatively simple, insert dick, pump.
The very first time I used it, it didn't really work out very well. The black rubber opening on the bottom of the tube was too small for even my relatively small penis to fit into without some kind of lube, that's actually the first time I used saliva as a lubricant. The seal that was supposed to form around my penis and keep the air from escaping didn't really work well with all the pubic hair I had at the time, but I played around with it a little and found out that by pressing it against me I could form kind of manual seal.
The pump was sort of a frustrating affair; it's sort of a dome with a plunger handle sticking out of it and a quick release valve button. I had a hard time using it at first, but once I got the hang of it, I started pumping. The interesting thing about this pump, combined with the amount of leakage, is that proper suction can take quite a while to form, but once it does start forming it comes along in a hurry. Now, with about fifteen to twenty five minutes with the one armed bandit fastened around my member and a constant vacuum formed around it I was experiencing an AMAZING erection, but it hurt. Maybe I did it too fast, maybe skin's just not supposed to stretch that much but it was painful on my cock (a little) and around the base where the skin had started to be sucked up into the tube (much more painful). I pressed the quick release valve and tried to pull it off, and discovered why having a narrow opening on a penis enlarger is a bad idea... I couldn't get the damn thing off. My member had swollen so much that I actually could not remove my penis. I was terrified, thinking it might never come off. I ended up removing the black rubber from the red plastic and stretching the rubber around my penis and spitting all over it, trying to get it wet enough to slide out. Having finally succeeded, I stared down at my penis in amazement. About half an inch from the base, it had swollen to tremendous (to me) portions. I took it in my hands and was amazed at the difference to both girth and length. Almost immediately after, I began beating off let loose a load of cum that shot out at least six feet. I actually had to wipe off my door that night for fear of unusual staining. It didn't last anywhere near as I would have liked, but it felt pretty good just jacking off with a bigger cock than normal. So I fell asleep and woke up the next morning ready to go to the bathroom, and my poor penis looked... lopsided, is the best word for it. My penis had shrunk, as they do, but the blood was still trapped in a ring around my head. For the second time in twenty four hours I was terrified I had broken my penis. And it stayed that way for a full day. It was as uncomfortable as anything I can imagine. Luckily, it returned to normal and was no worse for the wear. With subsequent uses I found a timing that fit for me personally and, luckily, didn't have any repeats of the first night's epic failures. I think that was due more to me working with the toy than to any merit the toy might have, as far as ease of use goes.
I'm actually really looking forward to trying again.
Maybe that should be a forum topic... toy misfortune's