Rather than just your regular pocket pussy, Alexis Amore gives you a piece of her ass too with this realistic, dual-hole masturbator from California Exotic Novelties. I actually chose this item for two purposes: mainly for myself to use in fetish scenarios, and also for my husband to have a go at, since he doesn't seem to be a big fan of the Fleshlight I picked up for him a few months ago, which I've subsequently inherited.

MATERIAL & TEXTURE

Alexis' 1.5-pound pleaser is made from Futurotic, a jiggly, wobbly, squishy mix of plastic and silicone, with a weak safety rating of 2/10. It may be free of phthalates and latex, but it is porous and will harbor bacteria. The obvious advantage to this material is that it does feel more lifelike, but on the downside, it is also very fragile and can tear and stain easily, so extra precautions must be taken to get as much use out of it as possible.

The texture is very soft and velvety, with some drag. Lube is necessary, a lot of it preferably. I was surprised that it didn't have much odor to it, perhaps a slight scent, but nothing offensive, and we thought she tasted just fine!

SIZE & DESIGN

Measuring just 6 inches long and 4 inches wide, you don't get much of Alexis, save for the important parts, and she isn't made for big boys either!

I have to commend the designers for the lifelike impression of her privates. The labia are very realistic, with folds and all. Even her asshole has gathered skin around it, with a nice tight hole at its center. There's a slight pink tint to the lips, but the asshole is just flesh tone and not a typical "brown eye".

Both holes share the same, main shaft, so if you were to stick your fingers in both holes simultaneously, they would meet up. She may be more ideal for smaller to average-sized cocks. Anyone longer than 6" is going to slip out the exit hole, but that's why it's there! The vaginal depth is only 4-1/2 inches, quite shallow, and the anal depth is 5-1/2 inches. The bottom of the cast is flat, with two holes to insert the vibrating bullets in to.

FUNCTIONS/CONTROLLER UNIT

Included with the slab of fake flesh is a basic, dual bullet unit, powered by two-AA batteries & attached to an inexpensive plastic controller that operates with a basic turn dial. Nothing fancy, but it gets the job done efficiently and with a good amount of power. The vibrations increase with the turn of the dial. On the base of the toy itself are two holes in which you insert each bullet. These fit inside snug, with the wires hanging out on the underside. The cords measure about 30 inches in length and could get tangled if you aren't careful. The nice thing is that these bullets can be replaced, as they are just standard size.

CARE & MAINTENANCE

Futurotic isn't meant to last forever, but the user can take a few precautions to get out as much of this toy as he can. First and foremost, it's recommended you use a condom, so bacteria can't grow in the toy due to its porous nature. If you don't use a condom, just don't share it! Clean it well with antibacterial soap and warm water, getting inside the holes. I took a handkerchief, wrapped it around my finger, then inserted it to wipe up excess moisture. Use a water-based lube only and keep it away from items that could stain it.

Feel free to take Alexis along on your travels, but just remember to pack her correctly. Storing her properly is essential to its maintenance! Keep her out of the heat and sunlight, store in a cool place, preferably in a plastic bag. The "porno" packaging box includes a small, eyedropper-sized bottle of a talc-free powder (cornstarch) to sprinkle over the toy after it is dry so it won't stick to anything. Feel free to also use this powder once it's almost dry to absorb any excess moisture on the inside.

HOW WORTHY IS THIS "PIECE"?

We both loved how this toy included both pussy and ass, but the cast is just too small. Only if you are willing to pay hundreds more will you get a larger cast, so we felt it was like getting a thin slice when you really want half the pie: satisfying enough to do the job and make him cum, but not quite enough substance to make it even more realistic.

After inserting the two bullets into position and applying an ample amount of Colt lube (my favorite), I prepped Alexis for my husband by placing her on the bathroom counter, as if he were going to screw the real deal right there. I don't know who was more excited about seeing her get fucked good, him or me! Being a very vocal and dominant kind of gal, I verbally encouraged him to give it to her good, but he needed some of the other kind of oral encouragement, if you catch my drift. Once he was hard, he went for the pussy first. I knew the canal was going to be too short for his 8-inch cock, as his head popped through the exit hole, but he didn't seem to mind that and thought it was kind of hot seeing his helmet push through. However, he said the downward angle was awkward. He tried her ass next on the countertop and said that was much better, as his dick was at a more natural and horizontal angle. He also said that he could feel the vibrations better when doing her ass.

I then asked him to switch positions. He tried it sitting down and holding the toy in his hands as he slid it on to his shaft. He said "It's okay, but there isn't much to grab on too. I need some ass cheeks or something". It worked well in both holes in this position.

Finally, then I said "On the floor! Fuck!" and he positioned Alexis on the floor, pounding her missionary style. For pussy fucking, this was much better than on the countertop, but it wasn't ideal for anal. Again, he stated that it would be nice if some of her thighs had been attached to it for a larger piece to grind on.

Within a few months of enjoyment, this floppy chunk of pussy & ass became a high-maintenance toy. You can't beat the realism, but cleaning it and waiting for it to dry was a pain. It's not exactly a toy we were able to leave out to dry around in the bathroom without several pairs of prying eyes wondering what that is or what it does.

The only thing this toy had going for it was its realism. Other than that, it's just bulky, even for a smaller cross-section. I can't even imagine owning one of the larger pieces of Futurotic, especially when it comes to finding ample storage (perhaps in a box under the bed) and cleaning.