Vibrating penis rings have been a part of sex for my wife and I for a while. As my wife puts it, they make my dick feel like a vibrator. Orgasms for both of us are pretty intense when we use them. So when we got the Jesse Jane Pirate Pleasure Ring as part of a set she received, we couldn't wait to try it. We should have.

When it comes to vibrating rings, the ability to turn them on and off is a must. This one didn't really work all that well. I had to actually twist the end of the bullet, the side with the on/off button, to make the dumb thing turn on. When we finally succeeded in getting the motor running, the vibrations weren't really all that strong and the bullet would turn off if I moved wrong.

If I was thrusting too hard, it would turn off. If my wife shifted her hips a little to meet a thrust, it would turn off. If we were in any position other than the missionary position, it would turn off. Where's the fun in that? We abandoned it pretty quickly.

I have a skinnier dick and this fit me snugly, so that was one thing it had going for it. And it didn't interfere with using condoms, so that was another plus. And it was kind of neat looking. I mean, the design on the ring itself was nice and the bullet had an interesting shape. Not exactly a hit out of the park. More like a pop fly the middle fielder drops when it should have been an easy out.

We did try it a few more times, but those times weren't any more successful than the first time. We wound up sacrificing it to The Garbage Can of Failed Sex Toys, never to be seen again.

The same phrase came to mine and my wife's minds after we tried this. "Why did we waste our time with this damn thing?" It just didn't work right.