When I learned that I would be receiving the Automatic Sta-Hard Pump to review, I was ecstatic! A penis pump, that does the pumping itself? I couldn’t wait to try it out! Too bad for me that this excitement was so short lived because it sucks, but not in a good way like penis pumps are supposed to. So perhaps in this case I should say that it doesn’t suck? Either way it didn’t work out for me, and I had wanted it to so badly!

It’s made well enough with an ABS cylinder, non-crimping hose, TPR donut and plastic, pistol grip handle. The batteries are even easy to install into the bottom of the pistol grip. There’s a battery holder that slides out to accommodate the three triple A’s, so there won’t be any need to pry on batteries with this one!

The ABS cylinder is nice and sturdy with centimeters and inches markings down the side to gauge your progress. There’s also a plastic connector, for the tubing, that screws into the cylinder at the top that contains a pressure release valve in case you might need it. The cylinder is 9.5" long, and has a diameter of 2.9" at the base. The top of the cylinder is a bit slimmer, with a diameter of 2.5", just in case you are ever successful in pumping your cock up to 9.5" in length.

ABS is essentially plastic which is non-porous and phthalate free, with firm smooth textures. Clean it with antibacterial soap and water, or by wiping it down with isopropyl alcohol. Cleaning did prove to be a bit of a challenge since it’s very hard to remove the tubing, once it’s been connected to the cylinder, and there is no tubing release mechanism.

The TPR donut that goes around the base of the cylinder is very comfortable and stretchy. It helps keep down air leaks, especially for those who desire to remain unshaven in the pubic area. It also creates a smaller hole because, well, let’s face it! I’m not 2.5" in diameter so it really helps seal things up better. Just remember that TPR is porous so always use a condom when sharing. It can be washed with antibacterial soap and water or toy cleaner. Silicone and water based lubes are safest to use with your TPR items.

When put into use, I expectantly lubed up my cock and slid it through the TPR donut and into the cylinder. I then snatched up the pistol grip controller and BANG! I couldn’t wait to feel the effects. Then, I waited some more. All I could feel was a very faint, almost pulsating sensation; just a slight, repetitious tugging of my cock. That was all, Bummer!

I tried several times with several different techniques to get a different result. Nothing changed the fact that once this pump sucked to a certain point, that was all it was going to put out for me. Maybe it’s some kind of safety feature, so that no one will pump their cock up too much, but honestly this one is not going to produce an erection. Consider other options, if you are looking into pumps to help give you an erection, because this one ain’t gonna do it! It just doesn’t suck enough.

I really expected to feel something from this pump. It seemed like a dream come true, but instead I’m still waiting… I guess I’ll have to just keep on dreamin’!