The Boss Cock's Pleasure Ring is a cock ring offered by Evolved Novelties. After days and days of searching around EF for the perfect ring for my husband and I, we settled on this one, expecting to be quite pleased. How can you mess up a cock ring? Apparently Evolved Novelties has this down to a science. The ring is constructed just as any other cheaper cock ring on the market -- silicone ring, bullet slipped inside a silicone pocket, on/off switch, takes watch batteries... So, how did they mess up so terribly? Read on for the answer.

This ring had no apparent smell upon opening -- pleasant or unpleasant. Just there, existing. The band that stretches to fit the mans shaft or balls has small little nubs on the inside. I guess the nubs are to either a)hold it in place, or b)provide some sort of extra sensation to whatever man/dildo/vibrator is lucky enough to be wearing this thing. It was pretty seamless, as far as TPR goes. I mean, it's not the smoothest, and there's obviously lots of drag to it. This is one of those toys that will make you wish you had shaved perfectly before putting it on -- yes, it pulls hair. Yes, it requires extreme stretching, or the use of a condom, or lubricant to put it on. This is one of THOSE toys. On Eden's safety rating scale for materials, TPR has a rating of 7 - good, but not the best. If you're new to all of this and wondering what that means, it means that this toy is kinda-sorta porous, therefore it shouldn't be shared since it'd be hard to use a condom with this thing. You cannot disinfect it; you can only clean it with mild soap and water. Compatible lubricants for this toy, and other TPR, items are silicone and water-based.

The reason we settled on this toy as a couple is because, amazingly, it's not designed like every other cock ring available to date. I mean, it is, but I have to give it up to Evolved Novelties for breaking out of the box and trying something new with this one. They have the bullet face vertically, running along the length of the dick or toy, rather than horizontally. It is a one size fits all toy, and can easily be stretched to incredible lengths that no cock ring should ever have to stretch to. Good to know the options, though. It fit my average-sized husband swimmingly, and he found it to be very comfortable. I found it to be comfortable, as well, which is always a pleasant surprise.

The good thing about this toy is that it's waterproof. I mean, I didn't test that out -and we'll get to that in a minute, but it seems EXTREMELY waterproof. So, take it in the shower, the pool, or the tub. Wherever you want, it'll go. As for the vibrations? Well, they started off kind of strong, but they're extremely shaky. Sometimes it'll be going strong, and then it'll sort of die down for a little bit. I don't know what is up with this thing. The bullet is just so inconsistent. I didn't find it that troublesome during sex, but I'd imagine anything involving mouths, or hands, would kind of be interrupted by the spastic tendencies of this cock ring. It is pretty easy to turn on and off -- just a simple button located at the top of the toy. However, I found that you can't JUST hit the button; you have to figure out which way to angle the little button before it'll obey anything you want it to do. It has one vibration stage, but it comes with two batteries, not that it matters, because you won't be able to get the first set of batteries out. Yup, both the husband and I tried everything and could NOT get the second battery out. We tried prying it out, we tried hitting this thing off of tables, but nothing seemed to work. That's really shitty, because after one use, the first set of batteries were almost dead.

The packaging for this toy was actually pretty great. Very comical, and very reusable. It's just a little box with a rooster on it, and a bunch of lame jokes about "choking your chicken". You can just throw the thing in the box, along with the extra batteries you'll never get to use, and then throw it in the EF tote bag with the rest of your tried-and-failed toys.