I got this in the mail, and my immediate impression is that it's way too big. The box, not the product. The masturbator itself is cradled in thin clear plastic, taking up about 2/5 of the available space in the cardboard box while the little vibrators and the battery pack/controller takes up 1/10 or less. Having a box this huge makes it difficult to hide from prying eyes if you're trying to keep it clean. More compact design on packaging may result in a smaller environmental footprint as well as a smaller footprint in your nightstand.

The masturbator is fairly lightweight (which is a relief since other masturbators I've tried are heavy, often housing a hefty metal bar to retain shape, resulting in holding them over your junk making you say, "now I know how the Wicked Witch of the East felt...") and flat enough to put onto a table or counter for a more "hands-off" approach. The battery pack/controller requires 3 AAA batteries, which is a little disappointing as 1. it didn't come with said AAA batteries and 2. they are less common to find in one's home. At least you're no longer having to buy some at Radio Shack where they ask you for your zip code as if they know what these are for and they are going to report you. There is no off switch. There is only a dial that turns up and down, no clicking into a locked position as if to indicate you've successfully cut power. There are no markings indicating where to turn for more or less power. If you hold it so that the sockets for the 2 vibes are facing the ceiling, down is how you decrease power until it no longer uses the batteries.

The soft silicone feels nice and smooth, but if you're reviewing this in the dead of winter as I am, it is F**KING COLD! I recommend using a warming wand, or if you're cheap like I am, a little foreplay will warm her up (if you're not sure what foreplay is, this might explain why you're here). Use water-based lubes, of course, and rinse it out with warm water before and after use.

There are three holes on the top of the masturbator: the vagina, the anus, and what appears to be a belly button meant as a way of letting air in and out as you thrust. However, if you've always wanted to shag a belly button as I have (disclaimer: no, I don't), then it's big and deep enough to try, so go forth! There are 4 slits cut into the underneath part of the masturbator. It wasn't obvious to me at first because their placements were not symmetrical, but these are where you can insert the vibes if you so choose. At least you some options, albeit strange ones. If you prefer direct contact with your glans, you can insert a vibe into the belly button, but make sure you have a firm hold of it when inserting or you'll see it fly across the room (damn, dude, she's tight!). This did nothing for me, but that's not to say it won't do wonders for you. The vibrations for both of them at full power are strong enough that if you lubed the entire masturbator up and set it on the tile floor, you may be flooded with memories of the old vibrating football games of the late '70s (no, I did not test this theory). On full power, even one is pretty loud.

It felt really good penetrating either of the "usual" holes, and I enjoyed this one more than the hand-helds I've tried or the aforementioned Dorothy House. There is only a couple of inches of material separating the two holes, making it so you end up in the same chamber regardless of an entry point. This is obviously useful for airflow and makes plugging in the vibe in the belly button area still work. However, I'm concerned that with regular or rough use, this thin membrane might break, rendering it useless. I hope I'm wrong, but it does make me more cautious.