Kaylani’s futurotic doggie masturbator is five inches of futurotic fail. While its external design is somewhat pleasing; it is a bit disturbing to feel like one is fucking Thumbelina. If you’re an FTM searching for a masturbator, this is not for you. If you’re an average guy searching for a masturbator, this is not for you. If you’re a smaller than average guy looking for a toy, you’re looking in the wrong place. This toy is unremarkable except for its somewhat titillating external design.

The material this toy is made of is ridiculously sticky if you clean it, even with the rejuvenator they include. It’s unremarkable unless you’re looking for a toy that may or may not get you off, depending on how long you wish to have your cock stuffed (painfully) inside a less than comfortable, somewhat ribbed sleeve.

I’m an FTM and even I have difficulty penetrating this toy. I can imagine how much trouble your average Joe would have getting into this toy. At best; one would have to hole the toy open before petting this sad excuse for a masturbator. Inside this toy are uncomfortable ribs that seem counterproductive to pleasure.

If you are cleaning this toy, be sure to use some kind of syringe or something because it is almost impossible to clean this thing. Unlike some other masturbators, you can’t really turn this toy inside out to clean.

Other reviewers have commented than in order to use this product, one must be a small, thin guy. Speaking from experience, even small guys will have problems getting into this thing; this is unfortunate because the external design is kind of cute, though my girlfriend thought otherwise.

Personally, I need to stop purchasing things from California Exotic. The last few toys I have gotten from this manufacturer have been less than satisfactory. In the future, I’ll have to remember not to purchase things from this manufacturer.

The more I mess with this thing, the less I like it. The powder that it comes with to replenish the futurotic skin gets kind of messy. The vaginal opening of this toy has torn more and more.