I wanted to get this masturbator for my husband, mostly to make a hand job just a little more than a hand job. Hey, those demons need to get their nods somehow, right?

Right off the bat, I knew this was going to be a strange experience when we opened the box. The smell is not unlike rubber cement and permanent markers and all of those other fun little things that you shouldn't be huffing. The texture was sticky, but not slimy. The inside is full of all kinds of nubs and spirals, and when I put my thumb into it it felt like tens of hundreds of little tentacles were latching onto it. It felt oddly cool.

So I handed it to my husband to put on because I wanted him to do it comfortably, rather than me just blindly going into it not knowing if I'm hurting him or if it feels weird or whatever. After liberally dousing the inside of it with some water based lube, he got it in. And it was...fascinating, I guess to see it on his penis like that, but certainly not a visual turn on. It was more dopey and weird looking than sexually pleasing, but I grasped it and began working it up and down on him. Each individual little tentacle nub thing was making noise as they would unsuction and pull off of his skin and then right back on again. I asked him if he liked it and he said that it was probably not a good toy for a hand job because when he took it into his own hand, he was able to work it the way that it felt right at the moment, but all of my years in hand job training were useless because we were dealing with a whole different kind of animal here.

I talked dirty to him and nibbled his ear lobe as he worked it on himself, and when I would seductively ask if it felt good he responded with an exasperated nod. I noticed that towards his climax he actually only started using the upper half of it, he said because the nubs in the end of it would massage his head just right and it was a great sensation. I asked him if it felt like pussy or mouth and he said neither really, but closer to mouth. If anything, it was like having sex with a weird jelly-like alien (though this toy is actually TPR silicone not jelly, just FYI)

When he finally started to feel that this strange ride was coming to an end, he pulled it off, and finished himself the rest of the way with just his hand. When I asked him why, he said it was because he worried about how hard it would be to clean cum out of it. We did, however, clean it with warm water and an antibacterial soap afterward, which I highly recommend that you do beforehand as well. That crazy-glue smell did not quite away but it does help a little to clean things that smell bad, so at least you know you won't smell as bad, right?

I asked if this toy would become part of his regular solo routine and he said not a chance. Would it suffice if I weren't around for a while? Not a chance.

All in all, my husband sums the Head Honcho up like this: "If you like to put your dick in things, which I know that you do, this is a pretty cool thing to put your dick into. Not the best thing, but not the worst thing either."

I guess if any guy is looking to spice things up with himself, this toy might be a cool grab for just that reason.

It got all squishy and kept smelling like airplane glue, so we tossed it. He never used it again after we did this review.