Having never used a penis pump before, I was pretty excited to try out the Remote Plunger Pump from Doc Johnson. When the package arrived in the wonderfully unmarked box that I've come to love from EdenFantasys, I quickly ran to the bathroom to rip it open and see how big I could get my cock to grow.

After tearing through the typical Doc Johnson cheesy packaging, I discovered a fairly well made plastic cylinder, one cheap clear plastic tube that was bent in half and already had a kink in it, a rubber cylinder sealer, and one hand-use piston pump. After quickly putting all the parts together, lubricating my penis and sliding it in, I ran into some issues.

Issue 1: You have to hold your finger over a hole in the tube to create suction. The hole is meant as an evacuation technique should you pump too vigorously.

Issue 2: While holding a finger over the hole, you must also push down on the cylinder to create suction around your penis and pelvis.

Issue 3: Once you've figure out how to troubleshoot issues 1 and 2 above, you then need to pump the piston pump, which is really a 2 handed operation.

Once I got the yoga move necessary to operate the Remote Plunger Pump down, I started to slowly pump the air out of the cylinder. As expected, my penis began to fill with blood and slowly grew to a very "hard" state. Unfortunately, the rubber cylinder sealer that allows for a smaller penis to use the larger cylinder was too big for me. After 3-5 pumps, one or both of my testicles would pop up into the cylinder, which wasn't very comfortable.

After trying to use the pump a few more times, none of which were comfortable or enjoyable, I tossed it into the garbage. However, I did notice some growth and would like to keep trying to find a pump that fits me and is hopefully easier to operate!