I originally started writing a review here, then decided to make it into a story and post it on my blog. But once you start you cannot stop writing a review where you started it. So here I am back at EF writing a second review of the Intensity!!!

So if you'd like to hear about the EF (which really stands for "EdenFairy" in this review picture included) I'd suggest taking a click and visit The World According to Woman for the whole story. But this review here, posted here at EF I am going to be a little on the boring lecture side and not that interesting as I did the whole review on my blog and it is very Womanish.

Not to be confused with Elfish.

Allons-y!

Use:
Vaginal, kegel and pelvic floor exerciser. It helps to promote muscle tone within your vagina helping to prevent those little leaks many women get from having poorly toned kegels. And because this is an exerciser, it helps to promote blood circulation making your vagina more sensitive to orgasms *hopefully* resulting in a more intense orgasm.

Purpose:
According to the box: The first easy to use kegel exerciser that automatically strengthens and tones the pelvic muscles responsible for intensifying orgasms. Inflatable shaft allows a woman to personalise her fit.

According to Woman: The electric pulses go off, the vagina contracts. This promotes muscle tone, muscle strength. All this helps to prevent leakage in women as they age by keeping the vaginal muscles healthy, toned and happy. Because it is a type of exercise, it helps to promote blood circulation which helps to make arousal and orgasms more intense. (I question the more intense orgasms at this stage!)

Oh. And it has a clitoral arm. Did you want to guess that that is used for?

WARNING: (from the instruction manual) Any use of this adult toy product for medical purposes, or any any use that has an adverse on the structure or any function of the body is prohibited.

Why did I buy it?
I bought the Intensity as I am one of those women who from time to time suffer bladder leakage when I laugh or sneeze. I am not talking a chuckle or one sneeze. I am talking full body laughing and countless sneezees in a row. Many of the older women in my family have spoken of bladder leaking as they have aged, and I want to prevent this from happening to me.

The Intensity itself is ABS plastic covered with a silicone coating. The contacts on the shaft are stainless steel. The release valve and battery cap are made from ABS plastic. And it requires four AAA batteries that are not included. (Don't you just love it when the packaging tells you everything you need to know? All that info was right on the package!! I am so lazy!)

Electrode gel: Reverse Osmosis water, Humectant polymers (acrylic acid/cellulose polymer), propyl paraben and methyl paraben in bacteriostatic concentration, FD&C Blue #2, and FD&C Yellow #5 (Look at my typing skills!)

This is so not a realistic toy. And even my mind cannot fathom alien cocks looking like this duck shaped novelty toy. And because the shaft is inflateable,

ranging from one and a half inches in diametre to two and a half, I think any level of user can use it.

The texture is that of silicone, and it does have some drag, but add some lube and you no longer have a drag issue!

Now, I did not put this up my nose to smell it out as I am still pretty darn afraid of electricity. And yes, I know. I am not all that clever buying an electro stim toy and being petrified of electricity. I can tell you the handle is scentless!!! But this is the type of silicone to hold fast to scented lubes and soaps. So be weary of what kind of soaps and lubes you use. And if I am not willing to bring this too close to my nose... I am not going to put my tongue on it.

I stopped testing out metal thingies when my tongue got stuck to a pole years ago.

It's a duck!!!!

And no, I am not talking about a male prostitute in China either. (Just so you get the joke... male prostitutes are called ducks here)

Let's get the stuff that we reviewers are all expected to put into a review over with... twelve inches long, with an insertable length of five and three quarter inches. the insertable portion starts off with a modest inch and a half diametre and as you inflate him, you can up to about two and a half inches in diametre. The clit arm is about two and a half inches long with those "ears" that are on many rabbit style vibrators.

Let me pause here for a moment to collect my thoughts to try to figure out how to explain this.

Inflatable toys. In theory that sound utterly amazing doesn't it? But first. Lets talk about those paddle toys with a ball fixed to it by a thin elastic string. You know how that sounds? Or how a pencil in a blown up balloon sounds when you shake it? That is exactly how the inflatable shaft sounds when it is all blown up. There is a rod that goes along the length of the shaft, and the silicone inflates around it. Making the majority of the shaft hallow. When you have the Intensity within you and you need to move it... good luck!! I have found you have to turn the toy off, remove it, reapply the electrode gel, deflate it, put it back in you hoping you hit that spot you want to hit. For the inflated shaft does not move if you move the handle.

It stays put as you move the handle.

Speaking of travel... this is something you will want to leave at home hidden away as it is not the most discreet toy. It screams, "LOOK AT ME!!! GUESS WHERE I GO???"

Because the Intensity is not waterproof, it is a pain in the tuchus to care for.

I spray down the insertable portion with a toy cleaner and then take a hot wet wash cloth and wipe him down. Never submerse the toy in water!!! Be very careful never to get water on the handle as where all the caps are, the silicone moves. But be VERY careful as the silicone seems to have come apart from the stainless steel contacts so make sure that you clean in that seam really well.



And just so you know, the more you use it, the more it comes apart.

To store the Intensity, I let him air dry, then put him in a storage pouch.

Because he is ABS plastic covered in silicone it makes finding a compatible lube pretty easy. Please pick A, B, C or D with which you think is the correct lube:

A) Oil based
B) Silicone based
C) Llama based
D) Water based

Now if you picked C you are absolutely correct! Wait... llama lube? No. Water based lube is the correct answer!!!

The Intensity arrives to you in a very loud cardboard box. Wrapped within the cardboard box is a blueish purple box, that contains the Intensity.

There is an instruction manual included too in many many languages (my friend was so happy not needing to ask questions about various words as she could just read it in Chinese!!!), and there is some Electrode Gel too.

Some warnings:

- Do not use if you are pregnant or have a pacemaker. Active cancer, any implanted metallic or electronic devices. A copper IUD, any sort of vaginal or yeast infection or even a urinary tract infection. Recent pelvic surgery… WOW! What a list!

- The batteries last for well over six hours (I never use the clitoral arm), but I would strongly suggest changing the batteries between four to seven hours depending on the quality of your batteries.

- BE CAREFUL the silicone on the base pulls away from the “holes” so things can get caught and tear the silicone or hide between the hard plastic of the handle and the silicone coating.

Things I would change:
(Intensity: Inflating heel, and deflation valvw, as well as silicone pulling away)
1) Make it a standard width. I would suggest one and a half inches and another toy at one and three quarters rather than having him be inflatable with various widths between one and a half to two and a half inches. The thing I hate most is that you know if you put a pencil in condom them blow up the condom? That is basically how this toy works when you inflate the base to get your desired thickness. The shaft is easily moved and not sturdy.

It makes the insertable part of the toy feel cheap and flimsy. And when you spend 250USD on this thing… well you are hoping for a toy that feels like it would last forever, not just for a couple months. But then again, when you have it pumped to the max? And you gently shake it it sounds like you know those paddle with an elastic tied to a ball? That is the sound it makes.

I think I know why they have made the insertable portion inflatable, so when your vagina clamps down around the shaft you can squeeze as hard as you want. The problem I have with that, is that once you have the shaft within you and you want to move the silver plates at all, you have to deflate it, remove it, apply more gel, then reinsert and hope to god you hit the right spot. If Jopen cannot make the shaft solid, I’d say what about having a thicker rod down the centre of the shaft rather than the small one they currently have.

2) Get rid of that clit arm. Please. Get rid of it. This in my opinion is not a masturbatory device. It is a tool to exercise with. And yes, the clit arm is really bendy and you can pull it out of the way, but oh look at that. I’ve a weird inprint on my mound and it hurts. Get rid of it. It really serves no purpose (for me!!)

3/4) Glue. I mean you guys created the Vanity line!!! I may not be impressed by the motors of any other Jopen Vanity line other than the VR6, but lordy loo… they all feel like quality and the silicone feels like velvet over the hard plastic of the toy. They whole Vanity line feels divine!!! Then I get the Intensity where the silicone slips and slides all over the place… where the battery compartment is only accessible via a plastic cork screw plug, the deflating button is black… and the whole thing just looks clunky.

If you look up to where I talk about the inflatable portion way up there in the Material/ Texture section? You can see what I mean of the silicone pulling away. And then there is the silver plating… the silicone seems to pull away the more you use it. On the back side of the Intensity the silicone has pulled all away from the plate. This makes cleaning up a little on the more complicated side.

5) Waterproof. Or at least make it like the older (white handle) Lelo products where they have a plug so you cannot submerse the toy into water, but you won’t kill it if water splashes on the handle.

6) The price. The idea of the toy is sound mixing medical technology with function. It really is. But, you have one of the most expensive toys on the market, it is very difficult for someone like me to get my hands on a replacement gel when I use all mine up. Then you have a toy that feels “cheap” and looks clunky and just cheap feeling. The silicone slides, and yes, the idea is worth it, but the actual Intensity, is not worth it in my opinion. And then there are “puckers” in the silicone and a very noticeable seam?

Things I like and would keep the same:

1) The control panel. I do have to say that for what the toy does, the control panel is pretty ingenious. Odd levels the light is steady. Even levels the light blinks. As you go up in levels the red light travels up the toy giving you an idea of which level you are on. There is an independent on off button which is different from the one touch control panel. I do really like this control panel.


2) I would keep ten levels of intensity on the Intensity, but I would suggest that the levels of intensity start at level three as level one. As I said way up there, that many women have found that they don’t really feel anything till about level three.

3) I know for me the length of the insertable portion is perfect!

How I use the Intesnsity:

1) Remove pants and knickers (feel free to leave your socks on if it is cold)

2) Lay down and get comfortable.

3) Apply the electrode gel to the silver plates making sure that they are nice and coated. If the gel is too thin you will not get as nice a contact and then not as good results as you might like.

4) Lube the fucker up with a water based lube.

5) Part your lips (now I feel like Moses saying, “Part the sea!” But you know, funny thought of it all is his rod or stick. Parting the sea. Hummm… strange. A penis like shaped toy parts your lips to bring pleasure. Strange imagery brought to this Woman via the Bible.) and gently insert the toy.

6) This is going to be the tricky part. First time users you are going to be scared out of your wits. But it is going to take a few turns to figure out how to make him work best. I know some women who insert him as far as they can, and some where just the metal plates are in them. I seem to fall somewhere in the middle. But fiddle a little and learn what is best for you.

7) Turn on the Intensity. And SLOWLY scroll up the levels. And exercise for an entire episode of an hour long TV show.

I have given the Intensity a two star rating because of all the cons mentioned above. Because I do not use the clitoral arm at all, I am giving the Intensity a five vroom because yes.. Zeus shoots his lightning bolts and makes my vagina a happy one!!! There is no sound when I use it.