When we were fourteen and at summer camp, my best friend carved a wooden, hand-sized “boat” for his girlfriend and sent it home to her. In reality, he meant it to be a dildo, though I don’t think his girlfriend ever used it as such due to certain concerns about splinters. Many years later, I find myself again evaluating just what makes a good wooden sex toy.

From my first glance, I knew that this was no summer camp craft. Treeze Wave came in a padded pouch—the kind that you would look at and think “pillow,” not “case.” Indeed, I may use it as a pillow next time I use the toy - why not?! The toy itself felt as luxurious as its case - Its surface is smooth and seamless, a wood-urethane blend which prevents it from being scratchy and splintery the way my friend’s had been. The benefit of the wood was again obvious when I lifted Treeze Wave - the toy is fantastically light, a relief for those folks whose wrists get tired. Another great quality of this toy is that the vibrator itself can be removed from the wooden shaft and replaced, should it ever break.

Unfortunately, getting off with the Treeze wasn’t such a breeze. Though the girth of the toy is moderate and folks with some experience with penetration should be comfortable with it, the shaft is incredibly rigid, making it difficult to take advantage of the full 7 inches of insertable length. With no curve whatsoever, I found myself enjoying the ribbed shaft but not able to appreciate the full size of the toy.

I was also frustrated by a couple things relating to the vibration. First, this toy is loud. I don’t know whether it’s because the vibrator is housed in (and reverberating against) the wood case or whether this is just a loud vibrator to start with, but the noise-to-intensity ratio of this vibration was way off. Second, the vibration is controlled by a button on the base. This wouldn’t be a problem if the toy were a single vibration toy, or even one with a few vibrations. But this is a toy with eight vibration patterns, including a strong, medium and weaker, and a number of different pulsing patterns. Call me picky, but I hate to have to cycle through all the vibration patterns to get back to one I want to be on, or to even turn off the toy, as was the case in the Treeze Wave. I particularly was frustrated that the first pattern was the strongest, followed by the weaker ones, meaning that if I wanted to go from the weaker pattern to the stronger one, I had to cycle through all the rest.

Even so, I enjoyed my time with the Treeze Wave. I also appreciated the easy clean-up and the safety of the toy. The Treeze Wave is phthalates-free and waterproof, and it can be used with silicone or water-based lube. You can clean it with a toy cleaner or hot water and soap.