The Vibro pussy sucker|Jesse's vibro pussy sucker has perhaps the most absurd name I have encountered yet in a sex toy|Sex toys for women, and that’s with a lot of competition. It looks like (and seems like it should be) the epitome of teasing, endearingly erotic toys. It is bright pink and has little nubs and contours coming off of every surface. A rabbit is somehow worked into the design, as though to remind the user just how pleasurable bunnies really are. The bulb is a little small and rather sleek-looking. The entire little apparatus looks like it was created to fulfill every image of a (really cute) sex toy. For me, though, the presence of a cute animal is not much of a distraction. Honestly, I generally just prefer my toys without faces.

The Vibro Pussy Sucker looks very elaborate, but its usefulness is essentially skin-deep. The plastic it is made of is all very soft and squishy, meaning the lots of carefully-placed nubs on the surface don’t actually have much effect. They are too gelatinous to provide more than the lightest little touch. The vibration itself on the toy is pretty weak. The rabbit-shaped cover on the vibrating bullet is actually convenient for changing the amount of pressure and angle, but that does not change the fact that the thing barely vibrates appreciably at all.

The much-touted pussy-sucking action of the toy is also lacking. It simply doesn’t work very well. The bulb must be pumped very quickly for the sucking to be felt at all, and the whole thing is very apt to just fall off. The toy is not very well-contoured to an actual female body. I don’t usually have trouble fitting into my toys, so to speak, but the Vibro Pussy Sucker had no great compulsion to stay where it was effective and limited movement a lot. One hand on the pump and one on the faintly buzzing little bunny makes this hard to correct.

The toy would most likely be more enjoyable if I didn’t prefer much stronger vibration. For someone who enjoys a very light touch, it would be more pleasurable. Also someone who enjoys a lot of pink and intimidating looking nubs. It seems to me that most work went into the appearance than the of the Vibro Pussy Sucker, from its glaringly pink packaging depicting a (soft) porn star in mid-orgasm, to its equally rosy mass of jellylike plastic protrusions. Unfortunately, not as much went into function as form, and the toy ultimately disappoints.