I was so darn excited to get this thing, and I don't think I have ever been more frustrated.

I shall start at the beginning: I purchased my Vanity Vr3 at a passion party a year ago. It felt FANTASTIC in my hand, the design looked beautiful, and I'd been eying it online for some time before seeing it in person. I'm a virgin, and I found the visual presentation very pleasant. Sometimes I get slightly nervous around things that look like purple jelly dicks, so things that don't look like purple jelly dicks get points from me on that front. Theoretically, I should have absolutely loved this toy, but I did not, not even a little.

As it is a silicone toy, use water-based lubes only. It's waterproof, so wash it without fear. It comes with a charging cord that you poke through a hole in the silicone base. The entire toy is covered in silicone and the buttons are slightly raised, just enough to feel them. I believe there is a 'lock' function when you hold down both buttons at the same time. (Editor's note: This arrives locked in its secure travel mode which prevents it from accidentally turning on. Pressing both buttons at the same time will either engage or disengage the lock feature. The video on the product page demonstrates this.)

It came with a little bag to store it in; it also came with a variety of plug adapters, which I appreciated because I live in Japan. The plugs are the same as the US, but I liked having the option of traveling with it. The box is very nice and solid; it does have pictures of the toy on it, so it's not super stealthy on that front. If you give it as a gift, they'll probably know what it is.

If you need clitoral stimulation, you're probably going to want another vibe added. See the full review in the experience section below.

I can't imagine why you would want to insert a rabbit style vibe anally, but I suppose you could. The clitoral arm is really bendy, so it's not out of the realm of possibility. I wouldn't recommend it, but I can't really say one way or the other what the penalty for doing that would be.

It's pretty quiet, but that's probably because it's very, very weak.

I wouldn't recommend this product to anyone.

I got it home, warmed myself up and got out the lube... and proceeded to realize I had severely underestimated how wide the head of this thing is. In my hand, it seemed not much bigger than my beloved G-Spot Squirmy, but the shape is drastically different. The bulbous head, which I had hoped would fill me quite pleasantly, just wouldn't even go in...like, not even slightly. As I got more annoyed with it, I tensed further and was forced to give up on it.

As someone who isn't sexually active with a partner, I realize my parts don't get a good workout in the same way someone having actual intercourse probably gets. I set about a plan to work my way up. I brought it out at nearly every masturbation session, and I hopefully gave it a try each time. It took three damn months to get it IN! Imagine now my crushing disappointment when I had it in, and it did absolutely nothing pleasurable!!

The generalized 'thrum' of the head motor was so non-directional, I couldn't figure out what it was even supposed to be doing. It filled me up alright--to the point that I couldn't move it within my body. It wasn't even tension, it was the shape. That shape is not designed to move, so it didn't. It sat in my vagina and thrummed. Vaguely.

But it has a clitoral arm, right? Surely that at least made some impact?

Oh, how naive I was to be so hopeful. The arm motor is truly, deeply useless. It bends easily and therefore never quite hit me right, and the actual motor of the arm is weak beyond description. I've had $6 bullet vibes on medium settings with more growl than this thing. At the end of the night, I was left with a rumbling vag and a bored clit. I took it out, cleaned it, put in its box and have not so much as touched it since then.

I have never been so frustrated with a toy and so angry that I wasted $140 on something that now sits in a box.

If you want a thrumming in your reasonably-sized vagina with a small bumping against your clit, congrats, this is the perfect toy. If you want something pleasurable, save your pennies and go elsewhere, because this will do nothing but disappoint you.