This toy is beautiful. The box is beautiful and so is the wood and so is the finish and the sleek surface of this interestingly shaped object. From the moment I first saw its picture, I was in love.

I mean really, who wouldn't be?

It arrived, and I admired it fully and proceeded to try it out with my lover. We had a lovely shag, and then he proceeded to bury his face in my pussy while he experimented with this gorgeous piece of wood.

Yes, I said wood!

He slid it around me and got it good and lubricated before he tried to enter my body with it. It was more difficult than expected but slid on home anyway. I felt mildly abused from its entrance but liked it inside well enough.

He tried moving it back and forth, and side to side, and eggbeater. None of these was hugely satisfactory, but side to side had the best effect. I wasn't quite so in love anymore.

So I tried it again by myself along with my finger and a vibrator. I slicked it up with enormous amounts of wet platinum and slid it home, and you know? It's a damn fine vaginal exerciser. I can squeeze it nicely and really feel it inside me. But you know what else? It's not the best g-spot stimulator.

But damn, it exercises surprisingly well.

So then I got inspired. I stuck in a g-spot vibe and worked my new sculpture into my ass, and oh man it hurts sooo good. The two knob end isn't graduated enough, but the larger slightly pointed one? Lovely. Just big enough to feel madly but not so big as to be daunting. And then you can gently work away at the smaller knob from the other end as you gush all over your g-spot toy and come all over your sopping wet hand.

So yeah, I give this toy somewhere between a three and a four out of five. I want to love it, but I don't. In my ass, it's excellent but not for the novice that's for sure. In my vagina, it's an exerciser but not a stimulator particularly.

Okay, it calls itself a vaginal exerciser, so four out of five for that and particularly effective for people who are not virgins.