This is an adorable little mini vibe with about the strength and intensity of your average garden variety bullet, but IT'S A TURTLE! Small enough to be placed and held right on your clit, and would maybe even discreet enough for secret public use if not for the controller that goes with it.

Vibrations are intense but weak, making this more a toy for extended play.

For some reason, I picture this being used in a lesbian porno where the girls are over 18 but playing it off like they're schoolgirls.

No smell for this little guy, and he is reminiscent of your favorite bath toy--though I'm pretty sure he's not a bath toy. I don't see anything on the package about him being waterproof so do NOT put this in the bath, you will kill the turtle.

It's not so much about texture here but rather its shape. It's turtle shaped. Little arms and legs, a shell, a head; it's a bit of an odd toy, particularly since most of the strongest vibration comes through his head. Putting him belly down on your clit seems most comfortable and logical though.

Mini turtle is mini! So small in fact that I compare it to a bullet vibe. He measures the same size as the lid of a Sharpie marker, so it's not microscopic but it's small for sure.

Perhaps if he were bigger and didn't have the controller he would be funner as a solo toy, but the advantage of the control is that you can have a friend work that part for you. (Though I personally hate the idea of giving up control of my speed controller as I'm a "stick it straight to warp speed!" kind of girl.)

The shape is interesting. You've got all of these feet and shells and heads to rub around on you and test out where all the vibrations transfer through the most. And the adorable factor is way through the roof. My boyfriend wants to keep it for himself because it's kind of fun to just turn it on and let it "walk around" on its "leash" (the cord.) He loves the thing.

Vibrations are generally felt in the head and the bottom of the shell, but he does have a fair amount of vibrations all over. Though he is small, and maybe a little too weak for some.

By the way, did you know that male turtles actually moan during sex? It's true!

Don't let that deter you, this does not moan. But the vibration isn't super whisper quiet. Though when under something, or for example right now I have it on full blast and shoved between my (rather large) breasts and I barely hear a whir.

The control is big compared to the little turtle, but this guy runs on 2 AA batteries, and in my experience anything that runs on AA is a friend of mine as it seems to have more power. And he does have quite a bit of power for such a little turtle! Just not quite enough. Maybe a motor issue.

Your turtle here's got a material safety rating of 2 out of 10, but cleaning it is a breeze with just antibacterial soap and water. But you need to be careful as he's not waterproof, so no dunking. Another great cleaning option is a universal toy cleaner.

Remember to use water or silicone based lube with your turtle.