The Impressions Slimline is a traditional vibrator made by Icon Brands. There are 3 different designs in their Impressions line, with the Slimline being the most traditional in shape, basically a stick with a control ball at the end. It can be used for internal or external stimulation. Although I have no plans to use it analy, I think there’s enough of a flare at the base to make doing so safe, since it jumps from 2.5“ in circumference to almost 5“.

After a more than stressful week, I was ready to try this thing out! I was happy to find that the package was easy to open; it’s just a simple plastic box that you pull a tray (which holds the vibrator) out of. As inappropriate of a comparison as it might be, it reminded me of the boxes Barbies came in when I was a kid. The packaging is pretty understated. The front window of the box is clear, while the side panel lists the company’s website, Facebook and Twitter links, as well as some basic info (such as that it is waterproof, pthalates-free and takes 2 AAA batteries, which aren’t included.) The back shows pictures of all three designs in the Impressions line (G-Spot, Slimline and Honey Pot). It also instructs you to hold the button for 3 seconds to turn off. Those are the only instructions, so you’re pretty much stuck figuring the rest out by yourself!

I was really curious about what this material would feel like, because the front of the package mentions that the silicone molds to your touch. Although the toy itself is a very rigid wand shape (there’s no way to bend the actual shaft at ALL), the silicone covering is a little squishy, and pressing my thumb firmly into the shaft (about the amount of pressure you’d use to pop bubble wrap) left an indentation. This would be SUPER cool if the toy actually held on to that texture, since you could create almost any texture you wanted to play with, but it smooths itself back out after less than 30 seconds, so I don’t really get the point. The final ½ inch towards the tip doesn’t have the firm material inside, so it almost feels like Play-Doh. I can see this as being beneficial if you’re sometimes an overzealous thruster, since I don’t think the soft material at the end would hurt like a more solid toy.

Although Eden lists this as silicone, the package says silicone and ABS plastic, with the former being the coating on the toy shaft and the latter making up the control bulb. Silicone is one of the safest materials available, being non-porous and able to be sterilized. Although silicone itself can be boiled to disinfect, you probably shouldn’t boil or dishwasher this toy, since it has mechanical parts and plastic components. A good disinfecting toy spray, soap and hot water, or 10% bleach solution should do the trick. (If you use the bleach, be sure to rinse VERY thoroughly!) The plastic portion is also quite easy to clean, with either antibacterial soap/toy cleaner or a quick wipe down with isopropyl alcohol. (Again, rinse after!)

The material had a very slight odor to it, which somehow reminded me of a dentist’s office, but maybe just because I’ve been there so much lately. I didn’t really smell it unless I put my nose right up and sniffed, though. The texture isn’t rough by any means, but it isn’t velvety smooth, either. I guess it is probably best described as rubbery. It does LOVE to attract lint and other debris, so be sure to give it a rinse before each use.

This is a one button vibrator, so there’s not exactly rocket science involved in making it work. You press the button to turn it on, and press again each time you want to switch to a different function. Holding it down for 3 seconds turns the toy off. One thing to keep in mind is that it’s not a large toy. The shaft (insertable portion) is 5.5“ long, and about 2.5“ around- much slimmer than most toys.

To insert the 2 AAA batteries, you screw off the large knob at the base and drop them in. Although there’s one of those little diagrams inside to show you which way the batteries go, it’s inside a tiny, dark, narrow tunnel (Giggity!) that makes it impossible to read. That little tunnel is also cardboard, so I spent some time wondering if I was supposed to remove it to get my toy to work. It certainly LOOKED out of place, but it was REALLY well in there, and the tube looked like it would be much too big for them without the cardboard, so I left it in.

When my guess at how the batteries should be inserted (both + sides facing down) didn’t work, I then couldn’t get the 2nd (deeper) battery OUT, no matter how much I shookit. Now I was REALLY wondering if the cardboard was supposed to come out, and for the first time in ages was wishing my vibrator came with instructions!! By now my nails were ripped to shreds, so I grabbed tweezers and pried out the cardboard, which brought out the battery. WHEW! The diagram confirmed that my guess for how the batteries went in was right, so I must have just grabbed some dead batteries. By now the whole toy was icky from being struggled with for 10+ minutes, so I washed it again. This whole “de-stressing” session was NOT going as planned. I stole batteries from my DVD remote, popped them in and...nothing. I shook a fist at the sky and vowed to hit the store for fresh batteries tomorrow. I tried the next day with new batteries, and it worked!

Instead of the usual low, medium, high, and a few basic patterns, the designers seem to have tried to make every setting “fancy”. There is one steady medium vibration, but no low or high steady vibration available. One setting gives you a series of long pulses followed by medium length pulses, followed by quick pulses, all at the same intensity. In fact, I think that pretty much *everything* this vibe did was at about the same intensity, everything seems to fall at about a 3 to 3.5 on the vroom scale.

Other vibration patterns (there are 5 in total) include a setting of all quick pulses, and a setting that is similar to the long-medium-quick setting above, but with a 4 second steady vibration between each set. I get that some people love all the changes in speed, but I kept looking down there like “What are you DOING to my vagina??” The patterns weren’t unpleasant by any means, but they left me longing for something a little more simple.

I gave the vibrator a solid 15 minutes of testing before tossing it aside, but I brought it out again for round 2 a few days later. I was hoping I'd like it more the 2nd time around, but after a few minutes of trying out the different settings, it still just wasn't doing much for me. I think that I really need the ability to work up in intensity, which isn't an option since the settings really only change in speed, not strength. I also realized that pulsing vibrations are really not my thing- I prefer either steady or escalating/rollercoaster style. If pulses are your thing, though, you will probably enjoy this a lot more than I did!

I was surprised by how loud this is compared to its size and intensity. It can definitely be heard through a thick blanket, and even background music does not drown out the (under blanket) sound, unless it’s quite loud. If you don't have any background noise going, you will be able to hear this through a closed door.