Snugglepuss is perhaps the strangest toy I have ever had the pleasure of hating. At first glance Snugglepuss seems cute and innocent – like a snuggie blanket or snuggie the fabric softener bear. It's positively cute as a button, all pink and soft, and hey, it vibrates. What's not to love?

Plenty.

First off, the battery compartment is darned difficult to get into. Snugglepuss is covered in a silicone skin. This skin is non-removable on the bulbous end, but the clit arm's silicone skin can be removed or folded back to permit access to the small battery compartment – but it's a bit tough to do, and makes me feel like I'm about to break the arm every time I do it. And for pete's sake, it takes three watch batteries! Imagine my disappointment when I powered up Snugglepuss and discovered something best described as lackluster vibrations. While I think three watch batteries should mean strong vibrations, Snugglepuss apparently disagrees. The vibration in the clit arm is weak, and the g-spot vibration is simply adequate. Now I understand that everyone has their own preferences and mine tend towards the Hitachi end of the spectrum... but seriously? Three watch batteries for nothing more than a soothing shake?

Speaking of vibrations, would you believe that Snugglepuss has no on/off switch? I know, crazy right? Snugglepuss just “turns on” when its arm is pulled away from the body of the toy. This is a cute idea, I suppose, in fantasy sex toy land, but not so cute in real life, when it's sometimes useful to turn off a vibrator in a hurry (like say, when someone knocks on your door... ). Snugglepuss to its credit is actually quite quiet, but not silent by any stretch of the imagination. If I could turn it off manually, somehow, it would be so much better – I might even consider it to be a good “stuck in traffic” distraction. As it is, I'm not so interested in wearing it while driving, lest I end up pulled over or driving through a road block. As much as I love humiliation play, “Miss, what is that buzzing sound?” is not a conversation I am interested in having.

Snugglepuss seemed to have two configurations that it liked to sit in, on my body – pushed in tight, or slightly relaxed back. When sitting, it pushed up tight, and the clit buzzing area seemed to be right on target – but the evil little wings that are supposed to helpfully push aside the outer labia pressed painfully into the area around where my outer labia meet, making me feel like my labia were being ripped apart slowly. Not to mention, the descriptor that came to mind for the wings was “plastic butter knife”. When standing, however, the Snugglepuss dropped down a bit and adopted a far more comfortable position just a little shy of my clit. This was a bummer, because in this position the wings did a pretty good job of spreading my outer labia out of the way, but the buzzing was a little shy of where I would like it to be.

But the absolute worst thing about Snugglepuss is the nubs on the g-spot portion of this toy. The first time I used the Snugglepuss, they didn't bug me too much going in, but upon removal, the words “medieval torture device” came to mind. Seriously - why, oh why, are there so many evil little nubs on this toy? My current theory is that they help the toy stay firmly in the vagina by biting into soft tissues, kind of like a pair of soccer cleats. No sex toy should ever be compared to cleats, by the way.

Ripping labia, plastic knife-like wings and evil soccer cleat nubs aside, the Snugglepuss does have a few plusses. It does stay in place quite well, and tolerates moving around without a pair of panties as a backup safety net. And the nubs, although vicious, are not a bother when it's in use – in fact, the g-spot portion of this toy snuggles up to my g-spot quite nicely and lovingly. And, you know, the Snugglepuss does get a pretty long life out of it's three watch batteries, which is good, because they're a pain to replace.

Since writing my review, I gifted the Snugglepus to a curious friend, who re-affirmed my beliefs that this is not a sex toy, but a mini torture device.