So, last night, another battery powered item of mine ran out of batteries mid-use. My thought process went something like this: "Aw, damn, what do I have that's got batteries in it... I KNOW!" I promptly went to scavenge First time power vibe's batteries since, well, I only use it in the shower and I wasn't planning on showering any time soon. It could wait for batteries where my keyboard could not! (Bet your mind was in the gutter, wasn't it?)

The attempt to remove the batteries went something like this:

Step one: Unscrew cap.

Step two: Flip toy upside down to allow gravity to do its work.

Step three: ...

Step four: Apparently "profit" is not on the menu. Flip toy back right side up to see why the batteries are not falling out. Observe that batteries are definitely inside of toy and no, I am not hallucinating that there are batteries in there.

Step five: Flip toy back upside down. Bang it on left thigh to try dislodge batteries. Observe strange springy sound. Batteries appear to be caught on some spring inside of the toy. While this spring is probably critically important to the whole "batteries providing power to the toy" I assume, I still damn it to the depths of hell.

Step six: Cuss a lot.

Step seven: Return to the process of banging toy on leg to try dislodge batteries, while praying that younger siblings don't take this moment to barge into bedroom. This conversation could go one of two ways, and knowing my family, it will go "uh, you know that's the wrong spot for that, right?" Fortunately, my increasingly louder screams of "argh, damn you, wonk wonk wonk ahahaha why aren't you workiiiiing... sob..." are ignored. By everything. Including the battery compartment.

Step eight: Fail. There is now a crescent-shaped bruise on my leg. Poke batteries with finger instead. Wiggle them around before flipping upside down. Please, physics, why won't you just be my friend?!

Step nine: More failing. Decide this is the kind of thing that probably needs to go into a follow-up review.

Step ten: FINALLY! The batteries tumble forth and I put them into my computer keyboard where they function perfectly. I don't know what I did but I'm afraid to put batteries in it again for fear of never, ever getting them out. So be warned: this toy eats batteries, and I do mean that in the most literal of ways. I don't know if it has to do with poor internal construction and the fact that I stored it on its side or what, but since it wasn't guzzling them, I haven't had to change them since I got the toy. While I still appreciate it for what it is (see full review), I can also see this being a regular buzzkill if your batteries die mid-use.

You, cussing out the shoddy battery compartment, may just take this toy up to five bees.