I'm afraid Little Paul and I got off the wrong foot. Or, rather, the wrong five and a half inches (see Functions/Performance/Controls). But if we hadn't, then we would probably have enjoyed a little more time to tango. He's clearly designed for lots of great stimulation, both internally and externally (although not anally, since he doesn't have a flared base). He's little and cute, and that would make him good for beginners or for internal use while accompanied by a clit vibe.

Little Paul is soft and squishy, but not TOO soft and squishy. He's little but he knows how to stand up for himself. Made from medical-grade silicone plus a plastic base, Little Paul is very textured (both big ribs and small textures in the material itself). The ridges on the toy are pronounced enough that you can actually feel them if you're using it internally, which adds a nice additional sensation.

This toy is actually odorless -- a rarity! -- and that's always a plus in my book!

Little Paul lives up to his name in the size department, boasting about 5 1/2 inches of length and a 4 1/2-inch circumference. He's cute, with his little eyeballs and his looking-at-you face, but also a little disconcerting. I don't have a thing for worms, and that's pretty much what he looks like: A giant red glowworm. Which makes him cute and unintimidating, but also not super sexy for me.

He does look more like a child's toy (or a dog toy) than a vibrator, due to the color and anthropomorphization, so you'll want to be careful where you store him, lest you find him drooled on by children or pets. He's little enough that you can travel with him easily.

This is where Little Paul and I ran into problems. Perhaps my toy was a dud, but here is how the process went upon our first use:

1. Insert batteries. Try to get the cap to screw on. Spend five minutes with the damn thing. Start over. Get it to finally work because you realize the cap needs to be perpendicular in order to thread properly.

2. As soon as you close the lid, the vibrations start. There is no way to turn it off. The directions tell you to hold the -- button for at least half a second but that doesn't work. Holding it for a LONG time still doesn't turn it off.

3. Hit the + button to increase the vibrations or change it to one of the many options listed it the directions. No change.

4. Remove batteries, put back in. Repeat three or four times. Give up and use it as is, which is sort of a low-level steady vibrations.

5. Turn toy off by removing batteries.

6. Throw toy in garbage.

Little Paul is a silicone boy, so use him with water-based lubes, clean him with soap and water. He does pick up lint and hair, so you might want to grab a bag of some sort to put him in.