Sasi is a clitoral stimulator that will be best loved by women without regular access to a real live human partner, provided they are willing to work around the toy's endearing little flaws in order to get to the good stuff. Trust me, it's well worth the effort.

It also vibrates, with different speeds and patterns, but I found that more of a distraction than a useful function, personally. Not because it didn't do that well, but rather because the toy overheats in about 30 minutes time, and I don't want to waste that time on vibration when I can be having oral sex with a robot. Lots of things vibrate. Sasi does much more interesting things.

Sasi is a silicone toy with a soft, smooth surface and virtually no smell of any kind. The top is hard plastic.

Sasi fits comfortably in the hand as you position it, and curves around the body naturally once you find the right resting spot. The buttons are small and too close together, and will be a source of frustration during the honeymoon period, but you'll learn to deal with them eventually.

The toy is attractive and reasonably discreet in appearance. As for hiding it, it comes with a nice black bag, and it looks like a computer mouse, which might keep your parents or the cleaning lady from giving it a second glance, but make sure it's hidden before your gamer friends show up. It's not compatible with the Wii and they're likely to take it apart to figure out why.

Sasi is rechargeable, so I'd recommend taking a drill to the back of your nightstand drawer, lest you leave it in plain sight while it charges up and forget that it's there on D&D night.

The Sasi is a toy with a great concept, a flawed design, a dozen frustrating and downright infuriating aspects to it, and a steep price tag. I could say twenty negative things about the Sasi, and they'd all be true, but I'll still plunk down almost two hundred dollars to replace mine when it inevitably breaks, because it's just that good.

In fact, it's mindblowingly good, and even the most obnoxious flaws have a sort of endearing quality. I've had friends say that about boyfriends I thought they should dump, but maybe I understand now.

Some folks aren't impressed with this toy. They dwell on the flaws. Don't let that discourage you, because most sexperts aren't friendless virgins and therefore have other options. They don't get quite how cool this toy is for the rest of us.

Let's start with the noise test. It sort of almost flunks, because it makes a loud obnoxious sound that can almost be heard from outside the room. (Almost meaning it can be heard in a completely silent house with the listener's ear pressed firmly against a thin door with full knowledge of what they're trying to hear. The vibrating portion, should you actually use it, cannot be heard.) Fortunately, it's not a sound that can be identified. It doesn't sound like a vibrator, and the noise it does make can easily be masked with a stereo or television, at least to disguise your activities from others.

Hiding the sound from yourself becomes an issue. This thing feels like a real tongue. Really. So you want to lose yourself in that fantasy, but it's hard with a weird grinding noise happening in rhythm with the amazing sensations between your legs. The noise cannot be ignored. You have to take steps to deal with it.

I hate earplugs, because they make my ears itch, but I used this toy with earplugs in, and that was definitely the key. The stereo helped, but not enough. Not because the sound is that loud, but because it's in sync with the motions of the robotic tongue, so it's hard not to notice. If you do resort to earplugs, which I recommend, make double sure the door is locked, and do turn the stereo on, because earplugs will keep you from hearing people loitering near the door, and this toy is too good to only use when you're absolutely sure nobody will be home any time soon.

The next obstacle with this toy is getting the positioning right. It's very tempting to try to move it around when it's doing one thing, only to have the next movement not fall in the right area at all. The only way to get the hang of this is trial and error, and practice. Oh, the hardship. Here's the catch, though. While you're doing all of this trial and error to position the toy correctly, you need to not be playing with the buttons that skip movements or repeat movements, because this toy will learn things and try to interpret them. Because the world needed a sex toy with rudimentary artificial intelligence.

It's very easy to confuse your Sasi out of using a movement that you really want it to use, and there's no way to convince it to change its mind, because the controls aren't advanced enough. While you're in the initial learning stages with this toy, resist all urges to tell it anything.

This is definitely a read the manual type toy. Memorize the manual. Watch the instructional vid on YouTube, even. The buttons are small, close together, and hard to press, and the toy makes assumptions. Not such a hot combination.

But it simulates oral sex. Oral sex. From a robot. We live in the future, people! The future!

The first couple of times you use this toy, don't expect fireworks. You'll feel things that make your eyes roll back in your head, but only for a moment, because the design flaws will distract. By the time you've found the right position for the toy, it will overheat and shut itself off. Don't fling it against the wall, just exercise patience, set it aside, and finish your session with something else.

After a few of those experiences, you'll be able to get the toy into position fast enough to enjoy a half-hour's worth of blissful sensation before it overheats. Don't use it under a blanket, and don't hold your hand over it the whole time. I found that it works great with a pair of unattractive cotton granny panties holding it in place. (Not nylon or silk -- those hold heat.)

It's not going to make you come the first few times you use it, but if you relax and just enjoy the sensation, eventually an orgasm will sneak up on you. The times it doesn't get you there before it overheats, you'll still have an intense orgasm from whatever else you grab. We're talking the kind of orgasm that makes your hips buck and your toes curl, and that stereo had better be going, because you might not scream but you will make some kind of unplanned noise.

Now, being a friendless virgin, I've never had actual oral sex with an actual human being, so that is probably better, but this is the next best thing, and I love it. If you're in a relationship of some kind, with regular access to a willing tongue, this toy is pointless. If not, this toy is a must have, but be prepared to endure frustration to get to the good stuff.

This toy is made of silicone, requires water based lube (to make the tongue feel moist), is rechargeable, is splash-proof but not waterproof, should be cleaned with toy cleaner, and is phthalates free. Don't share it. The rudimentary artificial intelligence can't handle that kind of pressure.

The Sasi comes wrapped like expensive jewelry, in an elegant black box that doubles as a charging stand. There's very little waste to the package, and no need to smuggle anything into the recycling bin inside of anything else, because you'll want to keep the box, and there's no other clutter created by opening it.

While I very much recommend the Sasi, it should not be anyone's only toy. That's rather a drawback considering the price, but adding a simple slimline vibrator or a pocket rocket to your order won't really set you back that much more, and you'll be much more satisfied with your purchase.